To think if a child is hungry, they will eat?

[KoyKarp]

DD is at infant school and DS1 at pre-school, they are both often pressured to finish their food and children are routinely given stickers as a reward for finishing everything on their plate.

AIBU to think that (medical conditions & illness aside) if a child is hungry they will eat, and that making them eat more than they feel comfortable eating is a strange and unkind thing to do?

i am glad they do this in my sons school, other wise he would just want to go out and play

YANU - dd is 3.4 quite small for age, doesn't eat a lot (2 dinners this week, and it's only Tuesday, have been left virtually untouched). SHe is a good weight, has plenty of energy, is not often ill, so I just let it go. If she doesn't want to eat what I give her fine - she will not be offered anything else. Her gps (well, grandfather) are a bit finish what's on your place. I have never known her to clear a plate. Ever.

Totally agree with you. We followed baby led weaning with both our children and have followed the principle of letting them take the lead with how much they eat. Some people just don't seem to get this?

ps my position is that she is regulating her appetite and that's all to the good - it's not as if she is then asking for biscuits etc (although she will usually find room for one if it is offered!)

Some children will not eat enough to get them through a busy afternoon at school. Tis nothing to do with BLW.

I know several children including my DD2 who would take two bites of. Sandwich and rush out to play. When ch

I would be really cross about this personally, and would ask the school not to do any pressure or give stickers to my child. Sends totally the wrong message about food/eating imo.

No, ds would just bypass every meal on offer if there was the opportunity to play.

Sorry - when children are this young they still need doneone to supervise their eating to make sure they are eating enough.

It's not like school dinners are enormous portions anyway. My three are ready yo bite my arm off when I get them from school.

I agree with you, I hate rewards being given for basic everyday things like eating and going to the toilet. Stickers if given at all should be for random praise for being kind or trying hard etc.

Even worse is refusing pudding until they have eaten ALL their dinner.

Best advice a health visitor gave me when I was stressing about dd not eating much as a baby was, "No child has ever willingly starved themselves" made me relax a bit.

My dd needs no encouragement to finish her plate and tends towards fat because of it. The stickers and also seconds or even thirds of puddings being offered together with bread and butter which she was eating as well as her dinner are the reason she no longer has school dinners.

I never force my child to eat, but if I didn't encourage her, she often wouldn't bother. She isn't fussy about what she eats, and she will eat if she feels hungry, but she rarely feels hunger - she just isn't that interested in food, and never has been. Unlike her greedy mother

For this reason, she is chronically underweight, so yes, I am grateful for the encouragement that she gets in school at lunchtime. She doesn't really care any more if she gets a sticker, but she will try to eat if someone reminds her to. Without these reminders, she is more interested in going out to play with her friends.

Having said that, I absolutely wouldn't want kids to be pressured into eating when they didn't want to. That's just wrong.

Or else their stomach shrinks and they eat even less which is what happened to my DS1.
Policy of letting him eat as much as he wanted. Result loss of 20% of body weight in 2 weeks. His was not helped by underlying recurring ear infections. He eats now and 2 years later is probably where he should be. However he is a skinny little thing in the 9th centile and has to be encouraged to eat or he will forget and begin shedding weight again. He just doesn't get that hungry.
So no the blanket policy of letting them eat as much or little as they like does not work for everyone. Equally a blanket clean your plate policy shouldn't be applied either

IN theory a child will eat if hungry but as a parent of a fussy child well shes grown up now , its a Nightmare and very fustrating I think its ok for dinner ladies teachers to encourage children to finish their lunch , I bet parents would moan if the kids came home and said i put my dinner in the bin and teacher let me , aying that i wouldnt want a child to be forced and made sit till the plate is clear ,

My DS1 sees eating as a necessary evil. He rarely wants to sit down to eat

YANBU

They should offer decent snacks, not a slice of apple, then no need to force encourage them to clean their plates.

As for " no child has willingly starved themselves," I would say : " want a bet?"
They may not starve themselves but some children do not take much nourishment.

DD2 from age 1 would not eat lunch and only a couple of mouthfuls of dinner. Thank god she ate an egg yolk for breakfast.

And I am not a fussy anxious parent. I have two other children who eat a good variety of things. But DD2 is teeny, tiny and will often eat tiny portions.

I'm glad if someone encourages her to eat st school.

In my opinion as a mum of 4 slim kids and a cm of 4 years and many kids, Pssst!!!

, if food means a lot to a toddler / young child they will need watching as may become a fat teen.

Toddlers and young children DONT need vast portions to keep them healthy. Just the right foods and milk.

They should be wanting to play outside and not be bothered.

I agree with you stickers for finishing meals is stupid.

Just make sure that everything they have is healthy and don't worry.

but there is a big difference between encouraging (which I do with my dd) and rewarding a clean plate, isn't there? i would certainly say to DD, 'look, you haven't eaten much, if you want to enjoy x/y/z you should eat a little more of a, b and c). And if the child is a normal healthy weight, but not a big eater, I don't think that's cause for concern - but if the child is seriously underweight then that's a different issue entirely. Even then, not sure that rewards are the right way to go

YANBU; making a good stab at eating your meal is to be encouraged; clearing your plate is not. Stickers for that would make me cross.

DD1 would forget to eat, or just not have bothered if I didn't remind her. Honestly. She still has no appetite. 15 now.

It's all very well saying they'll eat when they're hungry, leave them. But what if they're hungry at 2.30pm, when it's lesson time. Just stop the class so they can have sandwiches?

Some kids need encouragement. My twins have reflux, so they hate eating/drinking because they associate it with pain. They're far too thin, and getting thinner.

I definitely expect my older boys to finish their plate before pudding-not so with 2yo. If I did not they would leave all the veg and eat all the pud.
Likewise with school meals-I always know if they've not finished as they come home starving asking for food. Makes me cross I've paid for dinners that they've not eaten-because they want to play- and come home wanting snacks.

Cakes do YOU eat all your food before you have any pudding?

I can't bear all this making them eat everything....we dont ffs. I think they will eat when hungry and if they don't have lunch then they can have a sandwich later..big deal.

I think it's a good thing. They would be able to concentrate better on a fuller stomach.

Yes I do. If I'm full I don't have pud