to ban DH from playing the Xbox 360 in front of our children?

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

DH is a bit of an Xbox 360 addict. He loves playing on it, it's his way of relaxing after work/after running around with DS1 (2.10) all morning (DS2 is almost ten months old so not quite up to running yet!). He does work hard, and he's a great Daddy, so it's not like he ignores the boys and plays the games all the time, IYSWIM? Sometimes, though, he doesn't turn it off right away when the boys wake up from their naps, if he's been playing it on his day off while they're asleep. He likes to play some games which involve shooting/fighting with swords (Skyrim is his current favourite, which is a medieval story-game. You play your way through the 'world', fighting with enemies along the way.).

Anyway, to cut a long story short I think DS1 has started to pick up on things from these occasions where DH hasn't turned the Xbox 360 off as soon as the children wake up. Earlier today he was playing with a cardboard tube, pretending it was an aeroplane, but then the game changed and he started jabbing me with it and saying, "I'm breaking you Mummy, like Daddy does on Skyrim. He breaks the people and they fall over."

Maybe I'm being a bit PFB (although I'd like to think I've moved past all that a bit now! ) but I don't really want DS1 playing these sorts of games. I know he'll probably pick them all up when he goes to school anyway but he's not there yet so I'd rather he wasn't playing at stabbing people right now!

So, AIBU to ask DH not to play the Xbox 360 during the day anymore? That way he can't 'forget' to switch it off when the children wake up, and hopefully DS1 won't see anyone else being 'broken' on there..

I dont know what skyrim is my DH plays call of duty sigh i used to ask him not to play playstation when dds were small if it was a violent game just like i wouldnt want them watching a horror film IMO its the same thing , he plays in front of them now they are older I still cringe at some of the violence and swearing ,

I disagree Horse.

I have watched DP playing Skyrim and it is defintootly not suitable for a young child.

Another "totally PFB" vote here.

You're in a position to correct your child's behaviour, that's your job as a parent, and to dictate how he spends his leisure time. You're not within your rights to dictate how your husband spends his.

I don't think I'd be happy with a young child watching skyrim - it's like a rather violent cartoon. However, it is one of the most addictive games I've played. I'm really hooked fortunately I have limited time to play it. I'm waiting for it to load as I type

Have you ever spoken to him about it before. Does he know what your DS said to you? If you tell him he is likely to stop playing in front of then anyway if he wasn't aware, especially if you point out that it is age restricted.

You can't childproof EVERYTHING. And Skyrim isn't even bad. Half the time they're walking around not doing much.

And surely you should be teaching the child not to imitate it.

I saw my dad playing Metal Gear Solid but it didn't make me kill people.

I know I can't childproof everything but surely asking him not to play in front of our children is not such a big deal? They nap for around two hours in the afternoons and go to bed at around seven - seven thirty in the evenings. I think he has enough time to play that he doesn't also need it on when our children are awake?

And obviously I did speak to DS1 and say that it's not a very nice game to play with real people/objects, but if he hadn't been shown the violent actions in the first place I wouldn't have had to tell him that, would I?

Look up how video games affect children OP a lot of people are going to say its tosh but i do believe it has an affect on them I think you have every right to ask him not to play when the little ones are around and keep the xbox for after bedtime ,

mrsscoob I have spoken to him about it before. He was of the opinion that it was fine because DS1 didn't copy it and didn't pay much attention/really understand. Clearly that's not the case anymore.. I hope he will just stop playing it but he'll probably roll out the 'I just need to save it/finish this bit' excuse!

I don't think its suitable to have violent games on - it's a 15 rating after all. Really negative influence. Even if he isn't copying it, he's taking it all in and it will show at some point in the future.

YANBU - we have consoles in the front room here, rated games don't get turned on until after the toddler is in bed for the night - it's very difficult to 'switch off' in the middle of a game and it's best all round to just avoid the temptation to keep playing that little bit more and accidently let the kids see something they don't understand.

YANBU. I would.

"You're in a position to correct your child's behaviour, that's your job as a parent, and to dictate how he spends his leisure time. You're not within your rights to dictate how your husband spends his."

Yes, it's very important that a grown man play a 15 cert video game in front of a toddler and it would be an ENORMOUS infringement of his rights as a man to expect him not to expose his child to inappropriate material.

What must happen instead is that the child's mother must compensate for his father's poor example by somehow magically negating the influence of something the child sees his Dad doing on a regular basis.

It isn't as violent as Call of Duty, but I wouldn't want my little kids to see it. I play it (my dh is a Skyrim Widower). There is a perk you can use in the game to unlock a 'decapitate' ability, which gives a random chance of chopping an enemies head off when you attack with a sword. You don't have to unlock that perk, but if you do, it has slow motion 'kill-cam' graphics, so you get a lot of detail that I wouldn't feel comfortable letting little kids see. I don't like that bit myself and haven't unlocked it this time round. You can save at any point, but the load screens etc are slower on the xbox than on a pc and when you're in the middle of a quest it is difficult to save quickly as you want to finish it, or at least get to a pause point.

It is 15 for a reason and there is plenty of evidence to say that violent games make kids less bothered about violence in real life - so I'd say you're not being unreasonable. Your kids are little enough to go to bed early so there should still be plenty of evening to play Skyrim in after they've gone to bed!

:o AThing.

The sarcasm was almost poetic.

people are saying the OP is in a position to correct her childs behaviour which is true but the childs dad really isn't helping is he with playing the xbox so at 2.5 she is going to be correcting the child constantly because dad wont put it off when kids are around , they are meant to be a team

I think the point is that, regardless of how violent Skyrim may seem to anyone else, it has clearly influenced my two year old enough that he is acting out scenes of stabbing people with a sword. Which I think is wrong. AThing I think you've hit the nail on the head there - why should it be my responsibility to 'undo' the influences of DH playing on a games console?!

:o AllYours

YANBU - my DH also plays a lot of skyrim/assasins creed and other 15 and 18 rated games on the xbox, I've told him that I don't want him doing it round the children so he plays in the evening after they've gone to bed, without complaint.

I wouldn't sit watching Alien vs Predator on the TV while the DCs (aged 5 and 3) are playing in the same room and expect them not to absorb material unsuitable for their age.

Also I find it unsociable to be absorbed in a computer game when there are other real life human beings in the same room that would like to interact with you too. As soon as he switches the computer or xbox on the DCs immediately come over as they are interested in what he is doing. Its impossible to separate the two (the DCs and playing the game) while they are awake.

YANBU.

I am utterly utterly stunned that anyone thinks the OP is BU !

Of course it's not acceptable to play violent video games in front of children - please go and watch boys at play in many primary schools across the country if you want to know why.

Luckily I will never have to feel I'm "policing" my dh's behaviour wrt to gaming cos he's not a twat and he understands why it's totally unacceptable without me having to explain it to him .

OP, YANBU.

I'm a gamer, love Skyrim and YANBU. Agree with those who draw the parallel to 15 rated films, it's exactly the same.