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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be terrified of pushing my baby under water

47 replies

MummySunshine · 28/05/2012 18:41

A few of my friends are going to be attending 'aquatots' and have been -pressuring- trying to convince me to go with them. I've been told you push your baby under the water and they take a picture but no harm done because babies don't swallow the water etc etc

AIBU to think I'd never ever be able to do that?! And have any of you done anything similar?

OP posts:

Lizcat · 28/05/2012 20:54

You don't need to do the baby swimming if you don't want to. DD had. Glue ear from 5 months of age causing a life threatening ear infection so she was not allowed to swim till she was 3 years old she is now an amazing swimmer able to swim all four strokes legally and is the strongest swimmer in her year at school at the age of 8.

otchayaniye · 28/05/2012 21:09

ceeveebee i live in a converted swimming pool but have a dry flat!

i don't think my dunking has anything to do with my daughter swimming a length at 2.5, although familiarity with getting wet all over is part of the picture. the main factor is taking her swimming almost every day. and for my baby, dunking is just part of it. she comes and sees her sister throw herself in and swim under water and loves it.

it's a private pool so managed by us and few other residents and chemicals and infection risk lower i guess.

and yes, they do open their eyes under water. nd may swallow a little. so what?

nothruroad · 28/05/2012 21:37

I am 36 and one of my earliest memories is this happening - I wasn't a baby though, I must have been 2 or 3. We did ring-a-ring-of-roses and were pulled under at the 'all fall down' but. I hated it. I still can't put my face in a swimming pull and I didn't learn to swim till I was 14. I can't believe how clwarly I remember the horror of knowing I'd be under water in just a few seconds.

babybythesea · 28/05/2012 22:25

I did it with my dd when she was 3 months until she was 15 months, and she was happy to be in the water and very confident.
Then we moved and I didn't pick it up again until she was just gone 2. And the gap was noticeable. It was as though she'd never been before and after a year of regular swimming is only just regaining some of that confidence.
The friends we went with have children who are light years ahead of dd in terms of the fun they have in the water and their confidence.
I wish I'd been more proactive with picking it up again as I want her to be happy in water and it's taken a long time to even recover where she was as a tiny baby after such a long gap.
I don't think it's about swimming ability per se, it's just about being comfortable in the water.

BeingFluffy · 28/05/2012 22:36

My younger DD started with a similar organisation when she was 6 weeks. She had a photo session at about a year old but you dunk them from day 1. You really notice how they automatically hold their breath, and swim to the surface, it is instinctive, the teacher talks you through it and it is really not scarey. Throughly enjoyed the lessons.

vj32 · 28/05/2012 23:07

My ds is happy to have water on his face in the bath and in the pool, but at 1 year old has never been dunked in.

I went to a swimming session at a public pool and will go there again as they had a qualified swim teacher and it was less than £4. Unlike committing to a whole series of lessons half of which you won't be able to go to anyway. The swim teacher said she didn't dunk babies but she would show us how to sort of skim him through with his face in the water, which seemed to make more sense than just dunking them in, as its more like what you would experience when swimming.

I've been told the photos are soooo expensive and you are really given the hard sell to get them. I couldn't afford it and didn't see the point when there are perfectly good drop in classes in public pools. Or there are loads of ways to get free swims at private pools if you are happy to go on your own without a swim teacher - free trials, British Gas Scheme, Nestle cereal box Go Free scheme etc.

Hopandaskip · 29/05/2012 01:56

Nothruroad, that is why I wanted to do it with mine so young, so they would just accept it as normal when they were toddlers and not be panicky when they were three.

I agree with the slightly surprised look to start with but we never had crying and by the time mine could sit up they would sit on the edge of the pool and launch themselves in without a care in the world.

We did have a round of ear infections -- when he was 15. Antibiotics and then alcohol in the ears aft swimming fixed it though.

If you start this while they are still young enough to have the reflex and you go a couple of times a week they never have to learn to hold their breath, they just do.

We didn't do lessons, I don't think they were around then. I just started in the bath straight away and went to the pool at six weeks. I completely focused on turning him around to reach for the edge and spider walking along the gutter. Oh and being able to flip over and float. At about 2 1/2 ds would 'swim' by doggy paddling with his face in the water until he ran out of breath and then flipped over and floated like a beached starfish to take a couple of breaths then flip again and swim some more. He could make it across the (small) pool like that and then climb out. It was really funny to watch but got him where he wanted to go.

my2centsis · 29/05/2012 05:35

I think it's really cruel an in necessary. Makes me a little angry tbh

Longdistance · 29/05/2012 05:47

We go swimming classes with my girls, we live in Oz, so pretty important to learn to swim, and not be afraid of the water here.
Most of the lessons focus on safety, getting in and out of pool. If child falls into the pool/water, can bring themselves back to the ledge. A bit of dunking, but not massively important in the whole scheme of things.
At so young, it's important to instill confidence around water, which will continue. The teacher we have, has won awards with baby swim in Australia :)

ICaughtSherlock · 29/05/2012 06:16

We have taken dd to waterbabies since she was 3 months and was briefly 'dunked' from day 1 iirc.
You say a short prompt before you dunk them and within a couple of months they recognise the prompt words and shut their eyes and hold their breath.
Dd is now just 2, still does waterbabies and spent the whole weekend dunking herself in the paddling pool. She is hugely confident in the water.
I think if you started dunking a toddler who had never had it done before then they would be terrified, but for dd she has always done it so it's totally normal for her.
Just do what you are comfortable with but I promise in the two years of waterbabies I have never seen an underwater swim go badly other than a few coughs and splutters.

PicaK · 29/05/2012 08:22

You definitely need to go swimming precisely because you are nervous. No-one Will make you dunk your baby against your wishes.

I hated getting my face wet and felt panicky about my son being in the water. But he loved it. He's still messing about in the water having fun age 3. And i am now a supercalm chilled mum confident in his abilities. Worth every penny in my book.

He started at 3 months and is now 3. He goes to go chessgrove swim in worcestershre . They are fabulous.

valiumredhead · 29/05/2012 08:29

Same as frankie I wouldn't do it again.

pmgkt · 29/05/2012 08:31

My dd started at 10 weeks and loves it. Try the lessons and maybe ask if the teacher will dunk. In our lessons sometimes the teacher does it so they can swim to mummy. The advantage is that the teacher doesn't have your concerns and so does it confidently and correctly. Then when you see your little one is enjoying it you may feel happier doing it.

nancerama · 29/05/2012 08:35

It depends on you and your child. DS has been going to Waterbabies since he was 12 weeks old and absolutely loves it. He's 1 next week and gets so excited when we get to the pool and smiles, giggles and splashes his way through the class. He goes with his dad - it's a great way for them to do something together. I had to take him a couple of times when DH was away and was in tears the first time I dunked him - it felt so wrong. DS didn't bat an eyelid though, it was me that had the problem.

There are a couple of babies in my class who seem to hate the water, and hate underwater swims even more. I don't get why their parents persist in taking them. The babies are miserable and the parents are stressed.

5madthings · 29/05/2012 08:40

if you dont want to do it, you dont have to, you may find your baby likes it , lots do, esp when you start them at a young age, they were immersed in a bag of water or 9mths :)

but you dont have to do it if you dont want to, i do think that swimming is a life skill tho :)

exoticfruits · 29/05/2012 08:53

The younger the better. I watched a mother playing peepo with her baby who looked about 5 months. She was just on her own, she ducked the baby down under the water and brought her up and said 'peepo' and the baby loved it! I wished that I had done it when mine were tiny.
It is never a good idea to project your feelings onto your DC- they are not you. I still don't like going underwater- all 3 DCs are fine about it.

valiumredhead · 29/05/2012 08:55

It still depends on t he baby exotic I did it and it terrified the baby so much he was scared of the water until he was 7, I would never do it again.

ripsishere · 29/05/2012 09:01

My DD was dunked around 3 weeks. She loved and continues to love water. It is her element.

exoticfruits · 29/05/2012 09:03

I'm sure that you can go and not do it. If OP is still worried that she will be forced to then the answer is just to go every week on her own and do it her own way. Swimming is a life skill- the only thing that I insisted mine did. The important thing is to get to the swimming pool.

exoticfruits · 29/05/2012 09:05

My DS was about 9 months and too old - most need to be really young when you start. I expect the mother that I saw with the 5 month old had been doing it for a long time.

belgo · 29/05/2012 09:06

Don't do it if you don't want to. I never did stuff like that with my babies. I just took them swimming with me and let them do what they liked. They are older now and all love swimming.

skrullandcrossbones · 29/05/2012 09:09

I didn't like the idea of dunking and found swimming with a baby too much faff. Ds1 and Ds2 started lessons aged around 2.5 and they LOVE swimming.

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