To request different reception classes for Dd and her friend

[Allegrogirl]

We have lots of friends but they all live in other areas of the city. There will only be one child DD knows going to her school. They really like each other and have known each other since they were tiny but the child seems to bring out the worst in my DD. Other child's mum thinks her DD is perfectly behaved, she isn't off course as she's four. She does seem to wind my DD that no other child can and I end up really bad tempered as the other mum makes little digs about my DD. I feel much happier when we don't see them to be honest.

Other mum wants to request they go in the same class. I don't want this. I am being unreasonable to upset the other mum and split DD up from the only child she will know at the school?

Feeling really nervous about school anyway as I had an unhappy time. I want to help DD as much as possible.

YANBU. I would pop in and have a chat with the school and see what they think. By default they will almost certainly place them together, as they don't know anyone else, so if you feel strongly about it you need to tell them. Don't say a word to the other mum; she doesn't need to know.

I did exactly that, when DS moved from Infant to Junior school; there was one boy who always brought out the worst in him (and vice versa, I'm sure). They were seperated for two years, then once they were back in the same class again they had both matured enough to be able to coexist without problems, and they each had their own network of friends.

Don't be nervous about DD starting school; no reason to suspect she will have the same problems as you!

It sounds a perfectly reasonable thing to request. If you are going to try though, I would do it now as they may well have done all of their class lists already and you might be too late; we had to submit our class lists for September last week.

CointreauVersial nice to hear that children can go through this phase and come out the other side as friends. And you're right of course, mo reason DD will have any problems.

We're got the first visit to the school tomorrow. Haven't been asked if there any preferences for going into class with other children. I'll bring it up tomorrow.

Depends. You seem to be blaming the other child for YOUR DD's behaviour. Perhaps your DD brings out the worst in this child, also.

If her dd does bring out the worst in the other child then even more reason to separate them I would think. YANBU

Tryharder my child is certainly not perfect but her behaviour is pretty good most of the time with her other friends. She seems to be liked by the other parents we mix with.

As I said the other child brings out the worst in my DD for whatever reason. And yes maybe they do wind each other up, all the more reason to split them up. I always come away from meeting up with them feeling massively stressed and unhappy in a way I never do with anyone else. No child is perfect but the other mum really does think her DD is a totally prescious angel. She does wind my DD up when her mother is out of earshot but I have told DD it is her responsibility to behave.

No harm in asking. You might find they've already allocated the classes though.

Presumably she will still see the child at playtime, so they can still play together and be friends, just not wind each other up in class time.

For what it's worth I am pretty sure although have never bothered to find out, that my teachers deliberately never put me in the same class as my best friend as separately we were both pretty well behaved but together managed to get into trouble, memorably culminating in me running away from school aged five and having to get all the teachers out in their cars looking for me. I don't actually think it was necessary to split us up but on the evidence I can see why they did, if they did. We were still best friends for the whole of our school life, and we were fine when at each others houses etc.

Unless your Dd or the other girl are VERY clingy then YABU....it wont do any harm to have them in the same class and they will make other friends anyway. It's nice to have a friend in class when you're new.