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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my children to stop eating sweets biscuits and other rubbish!

63 replies

toddlerdays · 27/05/2012 22:44

My children are aged 3 and 4. We eat 3 balanced meals a day, and I make sure they get their 5 portions of fruit and veg every day. I mean proper portions, not including fruit juices in this.

We have fish 4 times a week (not fish fingers!), and almost everything is home cooked from scratch. I hope this doesn't sound like a 'well done me' so far, I'm just trying to paint a picture.

Now we also have McDonalds maybe once a fortnight, and maybe once a fortnight dinner is spaghetti hoops on toast because it's been one of those days.

For snacks the kids have something about 4 o'clock, a packet of mini cheddars, couple of choc biscuits, an ice cream. They do get treats and are not deprived of sugar by any means. When they go to a party (which is almost a weekly occurance with all their nursery friends), I just let them eat biscuits and grapes if that's all they want to eat.

Why oh why do they behave as though they haven't eaten for a week when someone offers them a biscuit, sweet, chocolate or crisps? I mean they literally would finish the packet given the opportunity. And if I ever try and remove a biscuit or sweet from them the reaction is a full on melt down.

I don't get it. Other children seem happy with 1 or 2. Or they're not interested at all. My children will finish their sweets at a party then look for someone else's to eat!

I really want to change this. Do I stop giving them treats altogether so they lose the taste for it? Or carry on as I am giving them 1 treat a day, maybe 2 at the week end? I've been working on the premise that if they never have junk food they'll want it more.

And those parents with children that can say no to sweets, how do you do that!?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/05/2012 22:48

Most children I know would want as many sweets as they were allowed.

As long as they have a generally good diet then I can't see an issue with sweets and treats.

Ds is 2.5 and eats a great diet generally, doesn't stop him wanting ice cream and crisps all the time occasionally. I just limit the amount and if I say no and he tantrums then tough!

EmmaCate · 27/05/2012 22:53

You could try and read them old school Topsy & Tim Visit The Dentist and nominate a 'sweets' day off the back of this.

I don't know many children who would turn down sweets, for all you say.

From the sound of your post though, it just sounds like your children like their food. I do the same though... trying not to make treats once in a blue moon so they don't become the be all, end all of food.

BTW please don't use 'Why oh why' again.

whoknowsnotme · 27/05/2012 22:53

I think it sounds like your doing a good job with filling them with plenty of fruit veg and home cooked food. sweets and things like that...meh, everything in moderation. just stick a few biscuits/sweets on a plate and say once they're gone, they're gone!

to be fair though dd is still only a baby so it may be easier said than done for all i know! Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/05/2012 22:59

DD (18 mo) also has a great diet. She doesn't choose the sweeter food (when there's a lot of different things on her plate). However, she would kill puppies for ice cream. She always tantrums a bit when she has had the two bites or so I allow her. It's great because it means that I have to throw it away after that and not eat the rest.

talking2myself · 27/05/2012 23:01

Sugar is very addictive. I think most kids would eat more if allowed.

I would guess many of the kids who would eat only 1 or none at all will have been heavily coached by their parents to not eat them or to not be greedy and have too much.

butthatsnotfair · 27/05/2012 23:06

My DD will eat one or two sweets and then say she doesn't want any more. Sometimes she doesn't even want one Shock

Same with chocolate, crisps and biscuits. She rarely finishes a whole ice cream.

I'm aware that it's rare, and she certainly doesn't get it from me Envy And I haven't done anything different from most other parents.

But DH is like that too, so I imagine it may be genetic - maybe a certain personality type???

Original poster
toddlerdays · 27/05/2012 23:17

Maybe a personality type - some children seem to show far more self control and self awareness at a younger age.

OP posts:
skybluepearl · 27/05/2012 23:30

We have Sweetie Saturday. So only one treat a week and often that might be dark chocolate or a fruit based treat from sainsburys - you can find the packets near the raisins. Snacks are generally fresh fruit, dried fruit, plain home made popcorn, rice cakes in our house. When they attend birthday parties I tend to fill them up on nice food before they attend.

Original poster
toddlerdays · 27/05/2012 23:35

A good tip about filling up their tummies before parties, thanks.

That's extreme compared to the parents I know skybluepearl, I admire you for it though, it's a good thing.

How old are your children and how do you deal with socialising when friends have treats?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/05/2012 23:41

I think you sound as though you have a healthy balance OP

Most kids are naturally greedy and if left to their own devices, would probably eat sweets til they were sick...throw up and eat more again Grin

I tend to liken it to anything else

If you took them to the park or soft play, they often don't want to leave when it's time...they want more of what they love.

But us boring parents have to limit these things for their own good Grin

bejeezus · 27/05/2012 23:50

My dds will sometimes recidere sweets/ dont eat too many

It is nothing i have done. I think you are right about personality types

WorraLiberty · 27/05/2012 23:59

Yes that definitely does come into it too.

My DS2 (13 tomorrow) has never like fizzy drinks

My other two DS's love them...yet I've had so many comments over the years like "Oooh aren't you good keeping him off of things like that, what's your secret?"

I dunno, he just bloody hates fizz that's all...but he'd munch his way through a family pack of jaffa cakes if I let him Grin

ErikNorseman · 28/05/2012 07:26

EmmaCate why shouldn't op say 'why oh why'?

Why oh why ever not? Does it annoy you?

exoticfruits · 28/05/2012 07:31

I think it is because you are doing all the regulating of the diet and not giving them chance to self regulate. It does also depend on the personality of the child.

YouBrokeMySmoulder · 28/05/2012 07:36

Ds now 8 can have sweets from Christmas/ Halloween in his room for months and won't get round to eating them, his self regulation is very good.

Dd however, 4, will eat and eat until she's very nearly sick.

Ds had a lot less sugar until the age of about 3. I was very lax with dd but it could just be womb environment etc. who knows.

I would give them more choice though and show them it is their responsibility to choose wisely.

exoticfruits · 28/05/2012 07:46

Maybe you are putting too much emphasis on the healthy food they eat by discussing it rather than just treating it as normal. Keep it low key and start training them to self regulate e.g put things in bowls to help themselves - give them more control. Aplologies if you already do this.

MsKittyFane · 28/05/2012 07:47

Wow. This has made me think about my own very healthy, mum regulated diet throughout my childhood.
I don't get it. Other children seem happy with 1 or 2. Or they're not interested at all. My children will finish their sweets at a party then look for someone else's to eat!
Other children are not interested or only eat a little because these sugary snacks aren't a treat to them. The are available throughout the week.
By making certain food unavailable most of the time and bringing them out as a treat you have made sugary things into a big thing which you DC want.
Children want what they can't have quite often and that includes food.

exoticfruits · 28/05/2012 07:50

Forbidden fruits are the most desirable. Much better not to label food good and bad.

seeker · 28/05/2012 07:53

Time for my to trot out my favourite overhearing in Waitrose "Now, Toby, shall we buy some rice cakes for the treat jar?"

MsKittyFane · 28/05/2012 07:55

DD (18 mo) also has a great diet. She doesn't choose the sweeter food (when there's a lot of different things on her plate). However, she would kill puppies for ice cream. She always tantrums a bit when she has had the two bites or so I allow her. It's great because it means that I have to throw it away after that and not eat the rest.

Crikey MrsTerryPrachett why give your DD an ice cream only to take it off her after two bites? Would you like someone to put a plate of food in front of you and take it away after you had had two forkfulls?
Just give her what you want her to have FGS.

MsKittyFane · 28/05/2012 07:56

Oh Good God seeker !! :o
This thread is making me angry :o

EmmaCate · 28/05/2012 07:57

Erik - yeah. I was just in one of those moods so I said it, but ignore me; it's my problem :)

exoticfruits · 28/05/2012 07:57

Love it seeker! Grin And then that mother will wonder why she has a DC with an eating problem!!

exoticfruits · 28/05/2012 07:58

Don' make a big issue about food and then your DC won't.

seeker · 28/05/2012 07:59

And as for filling them up with 'nice food' before a party- you do know that they are going to eat the party food as well, don't you? So they'll end up eating twice as much as they need.

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