to not want to pay child maintenance?

[lemonybarcode]

Hi I have four children, the younger two are looked after by me and their father exactly 50/50 in terms of nights/time. I pay for all clothes/haircuts/swimming lessons/shoes/school trips etc for both of them. I work full time and their father does not work.

He has now been awarded child benefit for the youngest child, this means that I am not eligible for any CTC, but also that I cant claim any childcare costs for the youngest when i am at work during the school hols (obv their father has no need for this as he is not working). It also means that he can claim maintenance for the youngest child. AIBU in being pissed off that he can get £200 odd a month from me (and therefore make me unable to provide for all 4 kids) or should I just suck it up? Any advice?

Anecdotally at least most of the lone parent fathers I know have really struggled to get their exes to pay any child maintenance at all and those that do receive a pittance. By comparison I'd hazard a guess that over half of the lone parent mothers I know get at least some maintenance and most of those get a reasonable sum.

My ex ran rings around the CSA for years by drifting between work and unemployment faster than the CSA could process the changes. It's only been over the last year that my ex has settled down into steady employment and the CSA finally got a detachment of earnings order to take the maintenance at source. The maintenance we do receive just about covers the DCs' pocket money.

My exH and I also have 50/50 shared care of our dc. He works 4 days on, 4 days off. On his 4 days off he has the Dc. I'm not working atm (I have a baby) and I am in receipt of the child benefit etc for all the dc.

Years ago when the csa automatically claimed from the non resident parent they decided he should be paying towards the dc. We opted for a direct payment from his bank into mine - once it went it, it was transferred straight back to his. He pays enough with keeping a roof over their heads and putting food on the table without me taking his money too. He provides for them as much as I do with clothing, school trips etc and it didn't seem fair. Especially as I get child benefit and child tax credits too.