To want some alone time....

[Softlysoftly]

..... DD is 2.8 and I'm 39weeks pg. I've worked up until 37 weeks and do a lot of the household work too, cleaning and bills etc. I also have a small online business. DH did have dd 3 days a week when I was working (he does nights) and cleans etc so not useless . DD is a really really good toddler who will rarely pester for attention so I have since leaving official work been getting stuff done like preparing for baby and the non "work" work with her there. Interspersed with stuff for her like groups and friends over to play.

Anyway I always use any free time usefully, today I said I was going to drop dd off at MILs, come home and just sit in the garden. No work, no cleaning no nothing, read, sleep maybe! The first time I have ever had babysitting time and done absolutely nothing useful. But I feel horribly guilty like I should be getting something done, or like I've booted DD out when she would prefer to be at home and would be good I suppose I was looking for reassurance from DH when I asked if it was mean to leave her just to relax and he just said "well she does prefer to be with us". Not nasty but just not getting it! :(

AIBU to abandon child to get some head space and mentally relax for the new addition? Does anyone else get that even if DD is good or DH was in charge (he would) having a toddler in the house is never truly being off duty? Am I even making sense?

YANBU...of course you are entitled to some space, so kick off your shoes and enjoy the peace.

I very often send DD to her grannys, just to have 'me' time, I think I'd go insane without it!

You deserve it, especially since when your new baby comes it might be some time before you get the chance again!!

Of course your not but your dh needs a good kick up the arse if he can't see you need to rest. Your heavily pregnant ffs.

I am lying in the garden with a glass of white doing fuck all and my youngest is 10!!

It's not spoiling yourself it's a fucking necessity.

Enjoy.

Definitely NBU, at all!

Don't you dare do a thing, you're not abandoning your DD to somewhere she hates being, she's going to be spoiled by her Granny

Your DH just didn't pick up on the fact you were looking for reassurance, it was a remark and nothing else, if he really thought you were doing wrong by your DD he would have said wouldn't he?

DD2 is 2.5, and the thought of running round to catch her after her at 37 weeks would do me right in, it's bad enough getting off the setee at that stage let alone tons of jobs and a 2 YO.

Feet up in the sun, and ignore any needless guilty feelings.

Another YANBU.

I would say you are being very sensible sending toddler to Granny for a treat before baby arrives. If you need help like this after baby arrives you might get resentment from older one if she feels displaced. Doing this now will make it feel normal.

Put your feet up and enjoy - your family is better off with a happy mummy.

You are growing a whole new human being - how that that possibly be doing nothing - relax and enjoy xxx

Thankyou all, I did as per instructions sit in my garden swing with nme radio on and dozed 'twas wonderful.

DD came home happy as a lark full of juice, icecream and paddling pool chatter, DH was told the mn verdict and promptly supplied cold drinks, moved my shade around and has arranged to take dd and himself to MILs for an hour tomorrow after her friends have been to play!

Wisdom of mumsnet I salute you and wish I had discovered you months ago!

That's lovely softlysoftly

Hope everything goes well with your no doubt wriggly baby.

how does someone work nights and care for a child in the day time?