to not want others to respect my wishes not to attend a massive street party

[Stunnedbymany]

My street are having a massive street party. I am not a party person. I don't find things like that fun. But, I don't object to them doing it as that is their choice. A bit annoying that it will be outside the door with no escape, but that is life. Can't I just say it is not for me without people thinking I am odd?
I don't really want to get to know people too as I am quite reserved. I am not the most sociable person, but I am content with that. Why do others think their fun should be my fun - I don't expect people to enjoy all the boring things that I do and I wouldn't pester them about it.

I doubt they think you are odd. They probably just want to get to know you, and don't want their fun to disturb anyone which makes it easier if the whole street is there. If someone on my street didn't want to come to our street party, then I woud feel quite sad that someone didn't want to take part in it, but I would have to realise that what's fun for me wouldn't be fun for them. I'd probably still feel a little sad for that person, because you don't like to think of people missing out, but I wouldn't think they were odd.

Thank you, but it doesn't feel like missing out to me. I went to one of their meetings as I needed to give them something and one of them next to me was quite snide about people not wanting to take part, as if the objectors were doing it as a deliberate attack. That is why I feel quite sensitive about it as I realised the mood was a bit negative to those who said no thanks.

They shouldn't pester you, but you have to remember that they think they're being kind and not asking you to go repeatedly because they want to piss you off.

Tell them you'll contribute something and they might leave you alone.

OP I think you've an unintentional double negative in your thread title - it reads as though you want them to go against your wishes!

I'd suggest telling a small white lie "Oh I won't be here that day" and either have yourself a quiet day in the house, or take off and do something nice that day. If they think you are busy hopefully they won't push you to join in.

You are perfectly resonable to want to do what you enjoy rather than what others assume you will like.

I would tell them what a pity but you are going to be away that weekend, then just hide in your house and if you need a pint of milk, go out the back way and scramble over fences.

(can you tell I have done this)

I'm not a sociable person either but I've got quite heavily involved with our forthcoming street party. I think it's polite to the people whose idea it originally was and who made the effort to organise the whole thing. I also think it's important to foster a sense of community (and will actually be fun). While I don't think anyone should pester you or make you feel bad about it, equally I think maybe you should think about how your attitude makes others feel. They're putting the effort in and trying to create a sense of community - refusal without a 'good' excuse (ie you're otherwise engaged) probably does seem like a bit of a snub to their efforts.

Also as with many things the 'what if everyone did it' argument is probably relevant. If everyone said no, your street would be really unfriendly and probably not what most people would consider a very nice place to live.

Personally I'm quite saddened that a lot of the older people (with some notable, and fabulous exceptions) on my street don't want to know (in fact haven't even bothered to RSVP which I think is just rude). Some of them have never spoken to us since we moved in except to complain about things and have pretty much slammed the door in our faces on previous occassions when we've gone door to door to ask people about community issues. While I respect their preferences, their attitude does seem rude to me (especially given it's normally their generation who complain about the decline of community spirit!)

Idea - some people on my street are busy for most of the day and just coming to the party for an hour. Could you not compromise and just grin and bear it for an hour? You might reap the rewards later on by forging some new bonds...

I respect your answer. But, it is because you seem to like to socialise and meet people and therefore you would support a party. Since an early age I have hated crowds, discos, nightclubs, parties and events with lots of people. I don't do small talk as I don't understand it etc etc. As for being polite, I have not been rude to them and therefore they should not take it as a snub. I didn't ask for another street party and it has been inflicted on me, so I shouldn't be grateful for efforts that are not in my interests. They have plenty of supporters and should be happy with that. As for people in your street not replying to an RSVP, that is unacceptable. They need to give a reply in that case, you are right that that is rude. We are all different people and I seem to be victimised quite alot for quietly not wanting to follow the crowd. Maybe it is the area I live in... who knows?

I think you're over thinking it to be honest. Someone made a snide remark - bitchy people do that. Not worth getting all indignant about it.

I wish our street were more interested. I tried to organise one. The apathy was astonishing.

Our street is too busy with traffic, thankfully!

You're not being unreasonable, OP. Living within a community is about respecting the rights of all who live in it, not chivvying people into joining things they have no wish to join. I think most people would hate that, not the other way around at all.