to say no ? Childminding dilemna.

[cantaffordtodoit]

At the time being, I'm looking 2 little girls, they are both sisters. One is 4 and the other one is one. Next year (september), the oldest one is going to school. The mum has asked me if I could have the little one but on a term time basis. At the beginning I have said no because I didn't know if I could afford to do it.

Anyway, everything worked out well, I have filled up all my spaces and I can afford to have the little one if she wants me to.

Now, the mum misunderstood and thought that the agreement was starting as soon as the big one finished school.

Basically, she wants to take the summer off and send the little one back to me in september but I said no as I have never agreed to start mid-july as I can't afford it and I don't what made her think I'll do that.

Anyway, I have sent a mail in order to clarify the situation and I didn't hear from the parents. I saw her in the street but she couldn't stop and chat as she had some stuff to go and buy.

I take it she is upset with me but I don't feel I have done anything wrong !!

So AIBU ?

could also be said that you misunderstood the mum. in her mind you agreed to what she requested and she wants to implement it.

i don't think you can blame either party. so now you need to decide what you want to do going forward - look after the child or not. suggest in future you get paperwork sorted sooner rather than later.

Well either she misunderstood or she is being a bit cheeky.
But ... there is (presumably) nothing to stop her giving you notice for both children now for mid-July and then asking you to take the younger child again from September on a term time basis. You could, of course, always say "no" because you feel you're being used, but that would deprive you of the income from this one child. So I suspect you either have to suck it up, refuse to take the child back, or come to some compromise with the parent (some sort of retainer over the summer, maybe?)

who says she misunderstood? Perhaps it was you misunderstood what she was asking for and agreed to it without checking, in which case to her you look like you've backed out of an agreement and blamed her for "misunderstanding".

if my childminder agreed to a term time only arrangement i would assume thats what we were doing, ie that holidays from then on wouldn't be covered. Unless i was told it would start at a specific date i would assume it started from when we agreed to the arrangement - so i can see why the mother has thought what she has.

I always said that I couldn't do this year, as in school year. I told her that I will do it from September onwards...it never crossed my mind to do it in July..I think we crossed our wires...but why getting the hump, we can talk about it no ?

I'm sure I said it was from September !!

The school year officially starts on 1st September (or 1st of August if classes commence before September). The end of the school year is officially 190 school days later. So in most cases that would be July. Therefore if you said you couldn't do it this school year, she is not being unreasonable in thinking it would be ok from July.

As I said, I always said September..School finishes on the 23rd ! I couldn't afford to be 6 weeks without paid, 4 weeks as I'm away for 2 weeks.

I get what you're saying. What I'm saying is that if I were her I wouldn't have thought that's what you meant based on what you've said you said.

You said you told her you couldn't do it this school year but could from September. You included the summer in 'this school year'. But it sounds like she had a different understand ... ie not before the end of the summer term, starting in September, with nothing in the no mans land in between. It's a simple misunderstanding. Neither of you being right or being wrong.

So talk to her and explain exactly what you mean. Then she can decide what she wants to do.

I now get what you are saying theunmember and yes I'll have a chat with her !thank you all !!

I'm sceptical - maybe I've seen too many parents try the "you said..." game.

I think you're already being generous in agreeing to change the terms of your contract all all for her. I suspect, but may be wrong, that she's trying to squeeze a bit more advantage out of the deal. Is she the type?

I would stay professional and stick to your guns. For the future, I would insist that any changes are requested in writing, and confirmed in writing together with the date they start from.
It'll drive you mad trying to keep up with verbal discussions.

she is the type yes...I have changed my work days for her..I gave her freebies as well in the past..If I can I'm always happy to help.

I think I'm going to tell her that I'm sorry we had a misunderstanding but I really can't afford to lose earnings in July and August.. She is free obviously to go but I won't keep the place for her dd in September...Its not like I need it anyway.

If she's got form then she's trying it on. Phone her up and request meeting and then do what tanith said.

Maybe you could tell her that it's fine IF you can fill the space over the summer with another child? Surely there are some parents who just need childminders over the school holidays?

Actually, reading your last post, see if you can fill the space over the holidays before telling her that. If you're happy to let her go then you've not really lost out either way