IABU I know

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

Best friend and I have planned for the last 10years to spend our 30ths in NYC together, our birthdays are 2weeks apart but she's a year older so we effectively have a full year to take the holiday in. Booking holidays with her are a nightmare because she's an actress so has to be absolutely sure she's not going to be working and won't miss out on a job or have to cancel the holiday.

Add to the fact I've moved to LA so now don't get to see her much, am stuck at home with 2dc (youngest is 6months), am so looking forward to this trip and planning it with her.

She went to an event with another friend last night and they win a trip to NYC that has to be taken this year. I feel jealous and sad, which I know is utterly unreasonable but now any time off she gets this freebie trip will take precedence and even though we've both been to NYC separately before, neither of us have done the girlie cocktails trip.

Just doesn't feel like our trip, if it even happens, will be as special now.

AIBU to be despondent or should I just suck it up?

Also how on earth do I afford to live up to an all expenses paid trip, where they'll fly out together, be put up in a swish hotel and get spending money? I'm saving as hard as I can but won't be able to afford all that

If you've both been to NYC before can you not pick somewhere else you've not been to to do the girly cocktail trip?

It will then be special to just the 2 of you?

Does she still want to go away for your 30th??

It's just bad luck, but don't blame you for feeling sad about it, I'd feel pretty crap to.

I second fruitysummer's suggestion about planning to go somewhere else with her instead, and it should be something completely different like a beach holiday (where you can still drink lots of cocktails) so it doesn't end up feeling like a second best city break.

Can you not join then on their trip? Or why not suggest you and her do Vegas instead, which is a fantastic place to go for a girly 30th, and very very cheap if you are already in LA.

Yeah we've talked about Vegas, it really depends when she can come out I suppose because I'll need to arrange child care for DD while DH is at work, but it's def an option. Or maybe somewhere totally different is a good idea, somewhere easier to get to from LA so she can combine the trips to make it easier.

Just gutted because I LOVE NYC, it's very "us" together and it's been in the planning for 10years!! We have time to organize though, she turns 30 this weekend and I'm 30 in a year.

We've also talked about palm springs, maybe I should just make that our 30th trip? Vegas would be fine, just can't imagine me enjoying it for more than 24 hours really

I'm sorry, I can't get my head around this as a problem. Should I go to Vegas or New York? Sheesh. I'm off to meet my friend who's baby isn't growing.

Sorry that was uncalled for.

I know it seems spoilt!! I have been saving for the trip for about 5years though and astounded that we have both managed to save the money to do it (especially working in badly paid theatre jobs!), and am just feeling pretty homesick, particularly missing my best friend and feeling what was supposed to be our trip of a lifetime has been a bit usurped.

And to be fair I did warn IABU!!

Congrats to your friend though

Fuck I'm so sorry, didn't read your post properly, sleep deprivation just skimmed read and thought you said shed had a baby

So so sorry, will take this stupid puerile problem away

Hope she's as she can be

No really don't. This forum is for all sorts of discussions not just problems. I was the one being unreasonable and I recant it. My advice would be to go to New York by hook or by crook! I would NEVER go anywhere else if I had the opportunity to go to ny!

thanks kitty

She's just said she has to take this other friend on the free trip,mwhich I do understand, but we will go too...