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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think when you have a car crash

27 replies

Magneto · 21/05/2012 16:39

Your first reaction should not be to yell and scream obscenities at the other driver, no matter who's fault it was?

In this case it was only a minor incident thank god, but the yelling driver only stopped yelling when they saw ds was in the car. Why do you need to start shouting anyway? Everyone is surely shaken and upset and it wasn't like it was done on purpose!

OP posts:

MaisyMooCow · 21/05/2012 16:42

Perhaps it was a natural reaction for them, adrenaline running and all that.
Quite aggressive however.

Hope you're both ok though.

CaptainHetty · 21/05/2012 16:42

I should imagine it's a natural reaction for some people when you've just had a big scare. Heck, if OH jumps out at me from behind a door and makes me jump I'd f and blind at him because it scared me...

I hope you're both ok :)

Original poster

Magneto · 21/05/2012 16:45

It was dh and ds in the car, dh says they're fine but I expect he is full of adrenaline right now and will come down hard later on. I'm literally about to run home when I get off the train in a minute.

OP posts:

ScaredyDog · 21/05/2012 16:45

Maybe they were scared and upset and acted out of character? Especially if it wasn't their fault?

I know when a bloke ran into the back of me (twice actually that's happened, only two accidents I've been involved in) that I did actually jump out and ask him WTF he wasn't paying attention and hit me so hard at high speed (I suppose I was lucky to be able to get out and shout at him). I did apologise to him afterwards, but it was a disgraceful bit of driving and it mangled my new car.

Second time I was actually in shock and so was the driver behind - in fact he didn't get out the van and for a moment I was scared he was dead or badly injured, luckily he was ok and I didn't shout at him. My car was written off though.

Not excusing her, but people can act out of character when they've had a shock.

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/05/2012 16:47

I guess if you've had a car crash, then your first reaction is just that. I don't suppose many folk rehearse how they will react in the event of a car crash.

IAmNotACowbag · 21/05/2012 16:48

It's completely unreasonable.

My DH backed up a little too far once and nudged the car behind going about 2mph, so no damage and just a touch rather than an impact IYSWIM.

Guy leaps out and instantly threatened to punch my DH out "if there was any fucking damage" whilst my DH was framing the words "I'm so sorry is there any damage".

babylann · 21/05/2012 16:49

I hate how angry and rude drivers can be in any situation. But I don't drive so maybe I'm just oblivious. Luckily I've only been in one accident and the driver of the other van was extremely apologetic and almost desperate, because I don't know how my mum who was driving at the time would have handled it.

Original poster

Magneto · 21/05/2012 16:49

I know you are all right, I think I'm just coming over all pfb. I feel sick.

OP posts:

IAmNotACowbag · 21/05/2012 16:49

I myself have been involved in a car crash in which my car was written off and ended up in a hedge off the road, entirely not my fault, and my first reaction certainly wasn't to yell like a dickhead - it was to ring the emergency services FFS.

bigjoeent · 21/05/2012 16:49

I've done the shouting bit, its shock and knowing that there will be a load of stuff to sort out even if its not your fault. I know I shouldn't and it isn't helpful but it just happens. I did calm down and apologise though. Don't take it personally and hope your son is OK.

fedupandtired · 21/05/2012 16:51

Sometimes you can't help how you react. When I was all of 18 some idiot didn't even stop at a junction and drove straight into me. I really laid into him although in my defence I was going through a difficult time and he was clearly an idiot.

I probably wouldn't swear quite so much if it happened today.

CanISawItOff · 21/05/2012 16:55

My reaction when I had an accident was to go stock still and silent (not the best reaction on the slip road to a major A road!) whereas the person who ran into me decided to jump out their car and thrust a bit of paper with his details on through my window and drive off.

Everyone reacts differently.

eurochick · 21/05/2012 17:12

Save for situations like the 2mph shunt, it's adrenaline usually that leads people to react like that.

Shutupanddrive · 21/05/2012 17:25

YANBU
I went into the back of someone and it was my fault. The other driver was lovely and just wanted to make sure I was ok. I was (car was a write off though).

GiveTheAnarchistACigarette · 21/05/2012 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 21/05/2012 17:44

I think whether it's reasonable to shout depends on how stupid the mistake was that caused the accident in the first place.

If someone has done something really stupid that has caused me (not to mention passengers like my children) to feel shaken up, damaged my car and caused me to have to go through weeks of sorting out repairs and insurance claims, then quite frankly they deserve to be shouted at a little bit.

Saying that though, I have caused a minor accident before, and have been immensely grateful for the understanding and niceness of the driver whose car I crashed into.

valiumredhead · 21/05/2012 17:45

Probably shaken up and adrenalin - I can see myself shouting in the same situation.

VivaLeBeaver · 21/05/2012 17:48

Mmmm, I do think when the shock hits you it's hard not to.

Some idiot in a 4x4 reversed into me and did serious damage to my car. The noise when it hit me was terrible and I hadn't seen him coming as he went into my side. While I would never have been violent or even sworn I did shout initially.

Though I did calm down quickly.

Brightspark1 · 21/05/2012 17:50

Sorry, have done same at someone pulling out straight into the side of my car from a side street. Didn't help, but I was very shaken and worried about getting back in time to pick DCs up from school.

laughlovelife · 21/05/2012 17:51

I think it depends on the situation, dh was standstill at red lights and some stoopid bint when straight into the back of him and we went forward into the path of oncoming traffic, which was a HGV, thankfully the lights were changing for that side, however could have been alot worse if it were still continuing traffic.

I could have lifted her in the air, I was that hopping mad!!! her excuse, I never seen you, really not at all of the 200 yards straight road

mercibucket · 21/05/2012 17:58

If someone is a dickhead generally, they will also be a dickhead when involved in an accident, particularly if it was their fault. They hope to bully you into not claiming/thinking it was your fault

mercibucket · 21/05/2012 17:58

If someone is a dickhead generally, they will also be a dickhead when involved in an accident, particularly if it was their fault. They hope to bully you into not claiming/thinking it was your fault

MsKittyFane · 21/05/2012 18:11

I am not nice when I am angry or scared.
Not an attractive trait.
If someone caused an accident and hit my car I would feel shocked, scared and angry and would really have a rant.
No its not nice to be on the receiving end but it's very hard to keep calm if you are put in a horrible situation through no fault of your own.

JoanOfNark · 21/05/2012 20:21

I shouted at the woman who drove hard into the back of me when I was stationary, the stupid fucker deserved it.

Pandemoniaa · 21/05/2012 20:26

Got to say that my initial reaction was less than calm and controlled when a complete fuckwit ran into the back of my car at a road junction. I had ds2, ddil and six month old dgd with me. Luckily we were all uninjured (the least affected being dgd who was fast asleep, safely strapped into her baby seat) but it really was an act of complete fuckwittery since he was talking to his girlfriend at the time and not looking at the road.

So while I'd not normally recommend rushing into the road fucking and blinding, sometimes your first reaction is not all that might be desired.

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