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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel she is getting away with murder

53 replies

dazzledsazzle · 21/05/2012 11:59

We have a new starter at work. She has worked in another role and got transferred to us. At first i thought what a nice girl but increasingly i am wondering how she got the job. Its her second month and she is still getting daily help from her best friend in the other dept and our guy who sits next to her. Her job is very basic spreasheets of who needs training , who needs renewing for legal reasons etc . But she still needs daily help (filtering A-Z by last name, selecting the data and pressing a kep to do a pie chart of it). She even sends stuff to the analyst next to her who has a completely diff role and he does it for her! An average day involves 3 phone calls to her friend re. how to filter (again) and two 'how do I's' over stuff she should know to the guy next to her. Her friend is also up here all the time and last time i had a crisis with my role & needed some advice from a colleague both of them turned to me as if i was disturbing them when in fact their chatter was disturbing me and my usually quick thought/prob solving process. Am i a mean old bag ? Also, i have noticed a lot of quiet texting going on: as soon as i leave my desk and ,guilty looks when she notices i have walked past back to my desk next to her & seen what she is doing (hiding it with your long hair just makes me wonder why you are hunched over like that love)! Its a really busy dept and we all work hard and i feel she it taking the mick ...and got the job bcos of the cute suits! She is always late too and never chats to the women, only the men.....hey ho, the sooner i get my counselling quals off i go ... office life eh ?..

OP posts:

ShakeWhatYourMamaGaveYou · 22/05/2012 05:58

YANBU, but you do sound a little like bit jealous- who cares if she prefers talking to men or wears cute suits??
Surely your annoyance should be directed at the person who hired her rather than her? They clearly didn't interview thoroughly enough if she can't do even the basics of her job. She will get 'found out' eventually.. I bullshitted my way through an interview and landed a job I simply couldn't do when I was about 22. I got fired the same day- oh the shame and humiliation!

If the guy who interviewed me had spent more time asking thorough questions- that really tested my ability and knowledge, than perving at my legs (yep I was wearing a cute suit) then he might have realised I was completely underqualified!!

Rhiana1979 · 22/05/2012 06:12

I don't think you sound jealous at all. I think you sound pissed off at someone who is clearly getting a free ride. I don't think it matters that she's a woman or what's she wears, she clearly isn't able to do the job she was employed to do.

Where I work this sort of thing is common. Theres always someone who rides on the coat tails of others, working their way up the ladder by getting other people to do their work for them.

Bitter? Yes maybe but today is my first day back after maternity leave so I'm going to be.

MsKittyFane · 22/05/2012 06:36

Hasn't her supervisor noticed?

KenNEddieKennedy · 22/05/2012 06:36

People learn at different rates. You do sound a little envious of her and cut the gossiping right out, that is v unprofessional. Afraid you'll have to suck this one up.

bejeezus · 22/05/2012 07:09

Maybe there is something you ate unaware of? If a friend comes from another department to help her all the time?

holmesgirl · 22/05/2012 07:19

What Rhiana said.

Tell her manager. I can't abide slackers who don't pull their weight. Other team members get resentful and it can affect morale.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 22/05/2012 07:22

She sounds like me when I'm struggling and I have some learning difficulties. It's awful. When I learn new things it takes AGES....peple eye roll at me and I feel like shit.

She's asking for help...she's not rocking back on her chair and sitting on facebook all day....she's asking for support and getting it. You do sound jealous.

TartyMcFarty · 22/05/2012 07:26

YANBU. This would irritate the hell out of me. If she can't learn from mistakes and act on advice she should be on her way out by now. Can't stand incompetence in a paid role.

TartyMcFarty · 22/05/2012 07:28

(And to that end, I have resigned from a role that I felt was beyond me.)

MardyBra · 22/05/2012 07:29

Yanbu. That's all.

MrsCog · 22/05/2012 07:34

Yanbu but wtf is a 'cute suit'?!

MsPaperbackWriter · 22/05/2012 07:55

Agree with Rhiana - there has been a lot of unfair accusations against you here. She IS getting a free ride but hopefully it won't last although it does happen, it's unbelievable that so many people get away with being like this but they do.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 22/05/2012 08:25

Oh I think you're all horrible! The woman sounds like she has some king of learning difficulty....if this was about a child...then you'd all b up in arms....children with LDs grow up you know and have to manage in the workplace and if people are SO mean then it's no wonder they have confidence issues.

Obv I don't know for sure but it certainly SOUNDS like LDs.

KenNEddieKennedy · 22/05/2012 08:33

Agreed, TheHouse - And given the chance and support, she'll probably end up being better than lots of her colleagues at the job.

GrendelsMum · 22/05/2012 08:37

Mmm, I did wonder whether she has has a learning difficulty. Could it be dyslexia? Would she benefit from having some training on strategies on how to manage it? I'm thinking of a junior colleague I had a couple of years ago, who had some really good ways of managing her severe dyslexia.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 22/05/2012 08:40

I think adults with Dyslexia have strong strategies to cope usually Grendel of course not always and not everyone has a diagnosis....I dont see why the OP is so mad about this as it doesnt make her have to do extra work...she's just bitter because this woman gets attention by the sound of it.

bejeezus · 22/05/2012 09:44

it also doesnt make OP sound like she is cut out for 'counselling' very much

KenNEddieKennedy · 22/05/2012 10:11

Glad you pointed that out bejeezus.

bejeezus · 22/05/2012 10:18

sorry It was bitchy. I am having a shitter of a morning, and projecting my anger and frustration all over the place.

I take it back OP. It would be a stupid conclusion to draw based on this 1 snapshot.

sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

KenNEddieKennedy · 22/05/2012 10:23

No, I agree with you!

knowotumean · 22/05/2012 10:27

I'm not sure you're too far off the mark bejeezus. I don't think that the OP is demonstrating great empathy or an ability to deal with a difficult situation directly. If she hadn't banged on about the counselling quals I would'nt be commenting but it does seem a bit odd to be drawing attention to them and then having an intolerant rant in the same breath. I think the projection issues may not be yours bejeezus.

Journey · 22/05/2012 10:39

If you can't change the situation in any way then stop getting irritated by it and concentrate on your own work. Life is full of unfairness. It does seem ridiculous that she has been given the job when she is clearly incompetent but the truth will probably come out in the end. If it doesn't then does it really impact on you?

knowotumean · 22/05/2012 10:47

ha I feel bad and feel like I am projecting now!!
OP -you can totally tell me to **ss off but apart from your colleague sounding like she's objectively not trying hard enough to settle in do you think there might be an element of you worrying unconsciously about transitioning into your new career and projecting it onto this woman?

Xmasbaby11 · 22/05/2012 10:54

It sounds annoying, but 2 months isn't that long in a new job. If she doesn't become more independent in coming months, it will be picked up on by management because so many people are helping her.

Itchywoolyjumper · 22/05/2012 11:02

That would annoy me too, OP. Why don't you offer to help her? You could approach her with some thing along the lines of: "I've noticed you're having trouble with x thing you need to do" and then email her instructions on how to use excel from the internet or similar so that she can refresh herself when she needs to. If she's really struggling she'll be grateful and it might help your working relationship. If she's at it it'll soon become apparent because she won't have an excuse to float about chatting and passing her work off to others if she's got the instructions easily available.

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