or should I boot "D"H in the nuts?

[toofattorun]

H: Where's the extension lead? (He is about to mow the lawn).
Me: It's either in the cupboard under the stairs or in the garage.
H: I have looked in both places and it's not there.
Me: Well it can't be anywhere else.
H: Are you sure?
Me: I know how you "look"for things. If it's not right in front of your nose you can't see it. Just look for it under the stairs or in the garage.

After a while...

Me: Did you find the extension lead?
H: Yes, but it wasn't where you said it was. It was hidden in the garage.

ARGHHHHH!!!

When he means "hidden", it means it actually took more than 5 seconds to find it. Our garage is 90% empty! The lazy bugger.

I can go one better than 'man looking' ....man feeling oh yes! - my DH came home from work last week to find me busy doing laundry and a shit load of house work.

There were clothes drying everywhere - on a clothes horse, in the tumble drier and on all of the radiators .... he stood next to a hot radiator full of his work shirts and bellowed down the hallway - 'are these shirts dry yet?'

Ummmm why don't you simply touch them to see if they are dry you fucking eejit!