Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to vow never to collect for Christian Aid ever again.

421 replies

bogwobbit · 19/05/2012 15:41

Nothing to do with the charity, which I think is an excellent one, but jeez people in this country are soooooooo miserable.
I can understand why people for various reasons can't or don't want to give to a specific charity and I can appreciate (especially after reading some other threads on this topic and by the way yes, all you people who complain about people daring to knock on your door collecting for charity, are unreasonable and imho quite selfish) that not everyone likes to be asked on their doorstep (very nicely in my case) if they would like to donate but why do people have to be so rude and smug and downright horrible about it. It's almost as though NOT giving to charity is some kind of positive personality trait. Funnily enough the nicest, most generous ones are the little old ladies who quite possibly can least afford it.

So after spending five hours of my time, trudging through the rain and the hail and the wind in freezing temperatures after a full day at work, never again!! Rant over but jeez, another nail in the coffin, for my faith in humanity :)

OP posts:
VolvoMo · 19/05/2012 16:37

No reason to be rude to volunteers, but it is highly annoying to keep be badgered by charities for household rubbish. If we have anything worth donating we simply drop it by a shop at our own convenience.

McKayz · 19/05/2012 16:40

Stressed so the CA woman who came at half 9 last night, banged on my door so the dog went mad, boys woke up and I had to get out of bed shouldn't have been there so late? Apparently her at broke down.

Because she got a very pissed off 'not a bloody chance' from me.

SarahStratton · 19/05/2012 16:40

Oh I really wouldn't have received the envelope.

Because the twat who does Christian Aid round here insists on putting it through my door, so LittleDog eats it. I do actually have a letterbox. Use it.

this also applies to every other charity, pamphlets, do-gooders, free papers and the Avon/Kleeneez lady

McKayz · 19/05/2012 16:41

Car not at.

Nancy66 · 19/05/2012 16:41

if somebody comes to my home uninvited and asks me for money then, yes, chances are i will be rude to them.

Door to door collecting is not on. People have a right to be left in peace in their own homes.

Ask me when I'm out and about by all means/

Rollersara · 19/05/2012 16:44

The thing is, you just don't know what is going on behind closed doors. I'm often exhausted after a long day at work or at home with DD, I don't really want to have her woken up from a nap, or for me to be dragged away from cooking/eating dinner, getting ready for a bath or frankly any of the things I like to do in my few hours at home in the evening. Especially not to be asked to donate to a charity I have never shown an interest in and as an atheist would never support.

I have regular direct debits set up to the charities I do support, and give more to them each month than I would ever have to hand for a cold caller. But, you go ahead and think me unreasonable and selfish, and carry on collecting from those "little old ladies who can least afford it".

seeingstars · 19/05/2012 16:45

I want to choose who to give money to. It is horrible being put on the spot.

NarkedPuffin · 19/05/2012 16:45

I don't want people trying to get money out of me at my front door. I especially don't want people talking money out of elderly/vunerable people - money they can't afford to give - because it's a 'good cause'.

stressedHEmum · 19/05/2012 16:45

Revolting, yes, we have a street collection on the Saturday morning in the local town centre (had it this morning), but we are not allowed in the shopping centre or anything like that. we also used to have a couple of days where we collected outside our local Tesco during CA week but Tesco have denied permission for that and for our annual Carol singing at Christmas for the last 3 years (I think because of the religious element but am not sure.)

To be honest, last year's street collection raised less than £200, it's hardly worth having all the old ladies standing about in the cold and rain for hours but they want to keep doing it.

I think your right about bigger charities suffering in favour of small local ones, which isn't always a bad thing. I think that a lot of it is down to the way that some bigger charities behave. I give to MacMillan Cancer Care and they are always phoning and writing to me asking for more, so do the Red Cross and Sense, the smaller charities that I give to don't badger me and I like them better.

WorraLiberty · 19/05/2012 16:46

seeingstars CHOOSE ME!! CHOOSE ME!! Grin

NarkedPuffin · 19/05/2012 16:46

'Funnily enough the nicest, most generous ones are the little old ladies who quite possibly can least afford it.'

How many 'little old ladies' won't be able to afford to have their heating on next week because of you?

SarahStratton · 19/05/2012 16:47

Door to door collecting is even more intrusive than cold calling on the phone. And my feelings on that are pretty strong.

You'd get short shrift if you knocked on my door.

ApocalypseThen · 19/05/2012 16:48

Incidentally, I also hate it at work. At this stage, I never give to a sponsored anything after witnessing it turning into a fight between someone who thought that a friend of theirs had given more to a different person's sponsored whatever thing - and she doesn't even like them!!!

It's gone ridiculous. At this stage, I have lost a good deal of the respect I had for people doing charitable things - there's too much self aggrandisment involved for my taste.

nickelbabe · 19/05/2012 16:49

I don't like that Christian Aid collections are done in this way.

I don't know of any other charity that puts envelopes through your door and then collects the money by knocking on.
I know there are charities that collect goods, but they ask you to put them outside.
I know you can't put money outside.

DH hates collecting the envelopes (but feels he has to offer to do it).

It's especially awful when you know someone who can't afford it puts money in (because they feel obliged)

I do wish those who aren't putting money in would put the envelope outside for collection (even in the porch) so that collectors don't have to knock and ask for it.
If you only have to knock on those who are giving money, it's soooo much nicer.

WorraLiberty · 19/05/2012 16:49

I was thinking that Narked...that's why I hate doorstep collecting.

I mean a few of those 'little old ladies' probably just can't say no.

LynetteScavo · 19/05/2012 16:49

Wow, didn't realise there was such an objection to charity collectors.

Christian Aid always put an envelope through the door first so I know they are coming. Not that I ever remember to fill it. Grin

If I don't want to give, I just say, "No, I'm sorry" with a smile. I have lost 3 seconds from my day, no big deal.

I do not, however want to justify to a cold caller why I don't want Sky or Virgin or a conservatory or what ever. These people are professional, and are slightly trickier to send away politely.

stressedHEmum · 19/05/2012 16:50

*McKayz", no she should not. You're not allowed to knock on doors after 9pm at night for things like that.

We aren't supposed to knock after 8pm here but it's illegal (I think) after 9. You're also not allowed to do it on a Saturday.

I always look for closed upstairs curtains and try not to knock a any door with drawn curtains in what might be a bedroom. I have 5 kids and know what it's like at bedtime.

exoticfruits · 19/05/2012 16:50

Most charities operate by putting envelopes through the door, we have just had Scope.

nickelbabe · 19/05/2012 16:53

oh shit, really about Saturday?
DH has just gone to collect his envelopes!!
(it's the only chance he's had all week)

Sorry to anyone who DH tries to collect from today!
Blush

Original poster
bogwobbit · 19/05/2012 16:57

Mumof1 - ha ha about the rain. I have never known such miserable weather :)
I can absolutely appreciate that not everyone can give or wants to give. I am never rude (although I've felt like - not very Christian but there you go) and do not give people a spiel. I merely say that I am collecting for Christian Aid and that I dropped off an envelope a few days ago. I can certainly understand compassion fatigue and that's fine as long as people aren't rude. I'm afraid that I do collect in the evenings and weekends (this morning) because I work full time. I'm sorry if it 'offends' people but there you have it.
I find it interesting that people are so 'precious' about their 'own homes' and their 'privacy'. I guess Maggie Thatcher was right about there being no society, there really isn't. I also think that Christian Aid should re-think their strategy but I don't know how else they could do it. People who do charity collections in the street (and I don't think that 'rattling a tin' for charity has been banned) also face rudeness and aggression - my mum did it a few years ago and someone hit her (and she (my mum) is a lovely elderly lady). I also sold raffle tickets (for another charity) and tried to get sponsorship for a 10k I did last year and believe you me, that is like getting blood out of a stone too. Some of the excuses that my generally well-paid colleagues gave were shameful. Bearing in mind that the charity I was collecting for then was a children's charity, one man told me that "he already gave to one child" i.e. his own son, and actually thought it was hilarious.

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 19/05/2012 16:57

i hate this, though i am never rude, the CA envelope came through, and i felt under pressure to donate to a charity i would normally have no interest in. I give to charity by DD each month.

The collector came while i was in the shower, but i knew if i didnt give the envelope back then it would get lost.

i find it a bit cheeky to post an envelope for money and then come back a few days later for it, and i think it puts pressure and guilt on the household to donate.

i put money in it despite being up to my neck in debt at the minute, despite the fact i have an adult autistic son whom has been taking money from my bank account so i could barely afford it, despite the fact i can barely afford petrol to get to work, despite the fact we are looking at ditching non essential house hold bills because like the rest of the country at the moment we are up shit creek - but i could not have stood and explained all of that, so i gave anyway.
i dont even know what this charity do.

imo it is wrong to do this.

MrsBovary · 19/05/2012 16:58

The Christian Aid collectors are lovely here, always pleasant and not in the least pushy, they drop their envelopes off the week before. We're expecting the CA collector back today actually. I do hope you won't give up.

It's those people wanting you to sign up for direct debit donations I've found to be quite the opposite.

HecateTrivia · 19/05/2012 16:59

Has anyone ever read a thread(or had a conversation) where someone says ooh, I'm so pissed off, there was a really nice, friendly and polite person at my door asking me with no pressure whatsoever whether I might be willing to donate something and when I said I couldn't afford to, they gave me a huge smile and said not a problem at all, have a nice day, should I report them to someone?

Ever?

Even once?

No. Because what people object to is being abused or insulted or someone refusing to take no for an answer or being rude or treating you like scum because you can't or don't want to give them your bank details. Because that's what happens. People knocking on your door and acting like they've a right to your money and there's something fundamentally wrong with you if you don't give this stranger on your doorstep your bank details. Well sorry. I will happily give them some cash, but nobody who knocks on my door gets my bank details. And when I explain that, I expect them to respect that.

When they don't, that's when they get my boot up their arse.

Judd · 19/05/2012 17:00

I do 60 houses for Christian Aid. I put a little photocopied note on each envelope saying what date and time I will be back to collect if. I also say that.they can leave it on the doorstep if they don't want to be disturbed. Loads of people take this option and leave me a quid in the envelope, others leave the empty envelope out for me. Absolutely fine. I whizz round the houses, social interaction is kept to a bare minimum.

MinnieBar · 19/05/2012 17:01

I was just thinking 'Well they haven't tried to collect mine' but I didn't realise Christian Guilt week wasn't over yet.

If someone knocks, I will be polite, but they're not getting anything as I don't believe in the cause.

I was almost sweary rude to the guy from the AA who cold-called trying to flog me some ridiculous insurance and then scoffingly said 'But how can it not be a good idea?!' when I said I wasn't interested. Fuckwit.