Ok, here goes.
My parents are not people I get on with very much. My father was, and is, very controlling and was monumentally upset when I decided to get married and have a family. I stayed in contact with them for the benefit of my Mum, who has always been kind of dragged along under his tidal wave of control. To cut a long story short, they saw DS a grand total of 4 times during his first year, despite living only an hour away, and 3 of these were at our own effort. Fine.
During the last visit, last summer DH and I came to their house with our DS, to be greeted by my mum. She said Dad was at work, which was a bit odd since he hadn't mentioned it, but that he'd be back home at 5:30. DS was only young then, and was usually on his way to bed by then and besides, as they hadn't let me know Dad was working, I hadn't brought DS any tea or anything; we were expecting it to be a visit of just a couple of hours; tea and cake, that sort of thing. I offered her to hold DS. She refused, so I popped him down on his mat to play. He shuffled his way over and started smiling at her, patting her feet and saying 'baba' and raising his arms for a cuddle. She didn't even return his smiles, just stared at him and made small talk with us.
Shortly after, sensing we weren't very welcome, we left. A few weeks later, my Mum and I had a falling out and she said that 'we'd best leave contact for as many months or years as it takes for you to come around to our way of thinking.' At first, I felt relief, then sorrow, then didn't think too much about it.
Now, with the summer approaching again, I find myself thinking about the last time we visited and how upset I was over her reaction to DS. He was a baby for Gods' sake! Even if she suddenly hated babies, why would she deny him a smile?
I'm upset because I see other GP's visiting their grandchildren, or willingly being visited by them. I couldn't give two shits about babysitting or helping out; I just want him to be loved. But he's not, and it seems utterly unfair. We have no one else of that age group who would want to be GP's, and I'm upset he'll miss out with interacting with that generation. I gained so much from it, and regularly see my maternal GP's now.
I have sought counselling, it's not something I'm usually bothered by though. I can normally go about my life and not be bothered; even think we're probably better off. But just at the minute, it's smarting a bit and I've even found myself quite cross with them. AIBU?