To expect mil to ask how I am?

[ShushBaby]

Haven't seen mil for a few weeks as she has been on hols.

She stayed last night. Since she arrived yesterday we spent around 3-4 hours in each others company, last night and then before I went to work this morning. We talked about her holiday, how she is etc etc.

She did not ask how I am. I'm 14 weeks pregnant with dc2. Last time I saw her I was struggling with morning sickness and fatigue, feeling anxious (had previous miscarriage) and general first trimester blahs. Since she has been away we have had the scan, and I have started to show.

And yet no mention of pregnancy at all.

I don't actually care that much, I just think it's odd and I wonder why she wouldn't ask me how I am- regardless of my pregnancy (tis common courtesy), but especially as I am pregnant. With her grandchild.

AIBU/precious?

YANBU at all, it is common courtesy to ask how someone is

YANBU

She sounds like one of those people who's whole life revolves around themselves huh.

Or, let's be kind, is early Alzheimer's a possibility?

Yes missfaversham

Given her utter adoration of our dd (which is lovely), I would have thought she'd at least be interested in the health of the vessel carrying her second grandchild! But no.

pippop1 that is kind but I really don't think so. Very much on the ball when it comes to talk about her own affairs/health!

did you bring the pregnancy into the conversation at all, or was it not even mentioned?

My mil used to ask about my Friends pregnacy more than she did mine (pregnant at same time) was my fourth pregnancy third child, 1st had micro prem 3 months in hospital, second - miscarriage, third - preeclampsia in hospital for two weeks before I had him so thought she may have been slightly concerned about things, but seems not!

Congrats on pregnancy x

Maybe she's trying to be tactful? (wouldnt be the case with my MIL but am trying to see the best in yours :o
congrats btw

squeakytoy yes a few times, but that didn't seem to prompt her to say 'oh, how are you feeling now?' or 'great that the scan went well' or 'thanks for the scan pic' or similar.

This sounds mean, but i sometimes get the feeling that she is envious that now I am now the one with a young family and having children, and not her.

I'm pregnant and I hate it when my Mum or my MIL ask how I am, don't know why I just find it annoyingly intrusive, and there is just something about their tone of voice when they do it.

So in my world YABU

You mentioned you had a previous miscarriage, is it possible she is skirting around mentioning you're being pregnant because of this?

thefurryone that is one way to look at it! I suppose it's better than a few weeks ago when she remarked, apropos of nothing 'your breasts haven't grown at all! When I was pregnant they were extremely voluptuous straight away!'

BlueBirdsNest it's possible but doubtful!

what bluebirds said

plus her generation think our generations are wussy about pregnancy!

"you are pregnant, not ill" was a phrase my mum used when i was hospitalised and on morphine but we shall skirt over that

Is she one of those people who simply dont like talking about pregnancy?

My MiL was like this, she showed almost no interest in scan pictures.

I dont know if she thought talking about it was somehow tempting fate.

Congratulations by the way!

Is she normally hearty, full of beans, her own affairs and judgmental??
Sort of picturing Her like this ??

and if so she probably thinks ' well I coped so she can too'

Anyway concentrate on yourself and at least she's good with your dd.

People are incalculable really and btw congrats.

She talks about herself a lot. Gnome she seems very happy talking about her own pregnancies (29 and 32 years ago).

thebody she is quite judgemental. Absolutely thinks she was the best mother ever and judges other mothers against herself (prize quote: 'I always put family first. That's why I didn't go out to work'). She is not that hearty- intense is the word I would use to describe her. Essentially kind, but extremely focused on herself.

I don't think she is being deliberately spiteful. I just think my pregnancy doesn't relate to her (until dc2 is born, at which point she will try to move in, mark my words), so it is not of interest for her to talk about.

I am being a bitch...

we took scan vid over to thier house - 1st grandchild, my DH was so nerous and excited, he said " i have smething speical to show you", she sat very defensivley - hunhced up - legs crossed, kept saying they had nothing fancy like this in her day....

then FIL came in with a phone bill that had a 20 pound call annomoly on it - he couldnt work out whose number it was.

so they sat dicussing that instead while the video played on adn we sat there very embarrased. when it finished she just stalked off.

My mum would have been on her knees - crying, marvelling etc.

That's so weird, Eliza!

I'm positive that when her own daughter is pregnant, mil will be uber-interested at all times.

It is possible that she wont talk about a current pregnancy (okay clutching at straws here!)?

My MiL has weird conversational habits in that she seems to see herself as the conduit for family news. This means that she wont talk with us about stuff we are doing instead she will tell us all about what DBiLs' families are up to. This means that we are all fed up with having each other's family news rammed down our throats!

If your MiL is anything like mine and you tell her that you are fine/worried/stressed/sick, she wont talk to you about it but will tell the rest of the family all about it!