Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP blaming me.

87 replies

FaceForRadio · 18/05/2012 08:38

I work FT, DP is SAHD.

This morning the alarm went at 07.40am, I switched it off and had a snooze.

Next thing I open my eyes, check the clock and it's 09.05am! I need to be in work by 09.30am and it's at least 40min drive! Fuck!

So I go into bathroom, quick wash, teeth brushed etc etc, no shower because of how late I am, make up and hair then clothes. I don't go downstairs until I'm ready to go.

During this time I'm thinking 'why hasn't dd woke up, this is really late for her' It has happened occasionally on the weekend where she has slept a little later and we've taken advantage and had a lie in so we thought it was one of these mornings, but naturally I worry, so said to DP 'we best check on her' So we did.

She was asleep, and we gently woke her up. She was a little grumpy but we thought it may have been because she slept too heavy.

Anyway, we all go downstairs (at this point I'd have breakfast with them, but due to the time I was leaving straight away), then I look at the clock on the dining room wall. It says 07.20am. Checked TV, same time.

Turns out, my alarm clock was wrong and it was 2 hours earlier than I thought! No wonder dd was grumpy.

Of course DP is now in a terrible mood, blaming me, and in general not being very nice about it. We had a row I left the house anyway and now I'm in work an hour earlier than I should.

Surely it's not anyones fault that the clock was wrong.

OP posts:
Iggly · 18/05/2012 08:40

YANBU!

What an odd thing to argue about. I'd be PMSL at my stupidity Grin Wink

mrsscoob · 18/05/2012 08:41

Grin sorry but I am sure you will all laugh about someday!

revolutionconfirmed · 18/05/2012 08:41

Of course it's not anyone's fault unless you set it ahead two hours! DP is grumoy but it isn't your fault.

Mama1980 · 18/05/2012 08:42

Why would he be mad? Yanbu. We would be laughing (hysterically probably) these things happen

Original poster
FaceForRadio · 18/05/2012 08:43

I actually know the answer. He is being totally unreasonable.

Making a bad situation worse.

I have told two colleagues about the clock thing this morning and we're laughing at it - shame we couldn't do that at home.

When we figures out I told DP to go back to bed for an hour while I sorted dd - in his usual martyr style he declined.

OP posts:
MaybeADHD · 18/05/2012 08:43

did you change the time instead of press snooze?
What a relief when you found out that you weren't late.
Your DP was probably be caught off guard he was woken by a very stressed person demanding him to get up and dashing around the house, from his POV he was probably a bit startled.
He will probably say sorry when he's had a coffee and woken up.

Original poster
FaceForRadio · 18/05/2012 08:47

MaybeADHD. I thought of that, but the alarm went off at 07.40am (my weird clock) when in reality it would've been 05.40am.

I know DP and dd were in our bedroom yesterday so can only assume that dd has been mucking around with it and I did not notice.

When I told DP I was late, his response was 'phone a sickie' yeah like that helps.

OP posts:
Spiritedwolf · 18/05/2012 08:48

Its no ones fault (suspect though that someone may have accidentally changed the time on the clock when they meant to change when the alarm was set...) but could understand the row if you were particuarly grumpy when you thought you were late for work (i.e. did you blame DP for letting you sleep in?) If you were a bit unreasonable, then make sure you apologise for waking them up early in a grumpy mood.

Other than feelings, no harm was done, you're on time for work and DP and DD were just woken up a little early.

Spiritedwolf · 18/05/2012 08:51

Oh, unless its a plugged in alarm clock and the electricity went off around 10pm last night? (They usually reset to 12).

Petsinmypudenda · 18/05/2012 08:52

I would be in a terrible mood too tbf. Dealing with a grumpy baby before you are even awake properly is horrible. Plus my toddler would be grumpy all day if his sleep was interrupted.

Original poster
FaceForRadio · 18/05/2012 08:52

Even if I had slept in it wouldn't have been DPs fault, I'm responsible for getting myself up. And I'm always the first person who's up so it wouldn't occur to DP that I had slept through the alarm.

OP posts:
IAmNotACowbag · 18/05/2012 08:53

No, of course it isn't! And surely it's a good thing that it turned out you weren't late?!

WhispersOfWickedness · 18/05/2012 09:09

I'm a sahm and I have to admit I would have been a little grumpy in that situation Blush especially if dc had been woken up and was grumpy too. I probably would have had a grumble but wouldn't have been angry at DH, just the situation, is it possible that this is the case with your DH and he just seemed annoyed/angry at you even though it was the situation he was annoyed at? If it was me, DH probably would have gone to work with a flea in his ear and then I would have been really embarrassed and apologetic when he got home that I had been so grumpy BlushGrin
I have 2 dc under 2.5, still getting up in the night to the baby and have no down time in the day as 2.5 yo has stopped napping, so that could colour my views on me and dc being woken up unnecessarily early Grin
You will probably both be laughing about it tonight Smile

Original poster
FaceForRadio · 18/05/2012 09:21

Whispers - thanks for your post, I understand what you're saying and I can now see it from DPs point of view.

Effectively, he was to be at home all day, tired himself with a grumpy dd.

The point I would like to make is that both of us need to have our wits about us and even though the situation was shit, there is no need to place blame.

If you would send DH to work with a flea in his ear, you've made his day just that little bit worse, to come into work with your OH clearly pissed off with you is not nice. In that situation I'm not at my best IYSWIM.

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 18/05/2012 09:24

I once got up put kettle on screamed at DH to get up he had slept in , made coffe for us and then HE said FFs its 4 .30 Blush he wasnt amused i slid back to bed , not something to argue over its a daft mistake

Petsinmypudenda · 18/05/2012 09:25

But its not top trumps. It was shit for both of you and neither of you were at your best. Sure harsh words were exchanged but as you were both caught on the hop its understandable.

In the scheme of things it really doesn't matter and will be quickly forgotten

diddl · 18/05/2012 09:29

I don´t really get why you woke your husband & daughter if they didn´t need to be up tbh.

Original poster
FaceForRadio · 18/05/2012 09:34

diddl - we thought it was after 9am. That's time to get up in our house.

OP posts:
Happyasapiginshite · 18/05/2012 10:21

I don't understand why you had to wake dd though. If your DP is a SAHD, why did you need to wake him up at all if he and dd were having a lovely lie-in.

Gentleness · 18/05/2012 10:30

I'd be annoyed with the situation and feel grumpy with tiredness. Dh would assume I was blaming him. We'd argue because it's not always all about him and I think I should be allowed to be irritated at life occasionally without having to spend forever reassuring him that not everyone is his Dad and thinks he's stupid.

No-one's being unreasonable and everyone is. Just one of those days that you have to rescue later.

CadleCrap · 18/05/2012 10:31

I have done something similar. I had a wind up alarm that used to wind down over the weekend and stop, On a Sunday night I would wind it up again. So Monday morning, alarm went off, I got up, had shower, thinking

"It's a bit darker than normal"

Made breakfast, couldn't understand why Terry wasn't on the radio as normal.

About to walk out the door when DH got up and said -it' 2.30am.

I had forgotten to set the hands.

The worst thing was I did EXACTLY the same thing a few weeks later and had EXACTLY the same thoughts. Not a morning person Blush

DH bought me a radio alarm clock Grin

DPIBU

HipHopOpotomus · 18/05/2012 10:33

I'd get a new clock!

diddl · 18/05/2012 10:33

Still don´t get it-tbh.

As the SAHP, if my child was sleeping & my husband woke them, I´d be pissed off.

If you thought you were so late, I don´t get why you didn´t just get up, on & out without involving anyone else.

fluffiphlox · 18/05/2012 10:34

I got my DH up at 3 am once, thinking it was 6am. He had already had a shower and started shaving by the time I realised. He was very good about it really, considering.
It was something I regularly did as a child. If I woke up I thought it was time to get up and I would start getting washed and dressed (particularly in the winter). It's not really the end of the world is it? Does a couple of hours here or there really matter?

VolvoMo · 18/05/2012 10:35

You and DP need a bit more humour in your life Smile