To think that, actually, the "terrible twos" probably did exist in the 1970's?

[BrittaPerry]

My MIL is lovely, really really nice, and she didn't say it to be nasty, but she claims that she didn't hear of two year olds having any more tantrums than other children, and certainly never heard the phrase "terrible twos" before DH and BIL were about 10 or 11 (so mid 80's)

Me and my sisters started being born around then, so I can't really ask my mum.

Surely it isn't a societal construct? Surely?????

(mother of a very strong willed 2yo DD)

Nope. I was born in 1969 and my mother 'fondly' (heh) remembers my terrible twos and calling them that.

Sorry, misread your OP. Yes, I agree with you! Definitely existed then!

Not sure it was termed as the 'terrible twos' but tantruming toddlers were certainly known about in the 70s! My sisters were both born in the early 70s and my mum was very smug that they never tantrumed.

YANBU - my mum said when she was expecting me (I was born 1979 so she was pregnant end of 78 and early 79) that everyone kept saying she'd got the worst possible gap as my DB was 2.5 and mid terrible twos.

I thought terrible twos were explained because that's when they are trying to extert their will on their enviornment but don't have the language /reasoning ability to get their own way without shouting.

My mother, who did most of her parenting in the 60s is well aware of the terrible twos. It is in Dr Spock, too, though I don't suppose she ever read him. And I was taught about it at school in the 70s (we had a subject called Child development).

I do find however that as people get older, they do rewrite their memories. My mother's present idea was that we were ever so hard-up and we had to make do with hardly any presents. Very annoying when you are copying some aspect of their parenting that you really admired then to get told that "of course we never spoiled you in that way". I still have a lot of the things she bought me, the price is printed on the back, I kept a diary, I know her memories can't be true.

God Lord no YANBU.

DM, DMIL and DH's Grandmother would all back me up on that! DMIL still suffers flashbacks from DH's terrible twos now (although would have been very early 80's not 70's)

Not sure they called it 'terrible twos' but a defiant and tantrumy period was definitely known and feared!

My Dad fondly recounts a story his Mother told him about his tantrum at a May day fayre when he was about 2. My Dad is now 82! My Grandmother practised the ' ignore-it-whilst-inwardly-cringing-with-embarrassment-technique'. There is nothing new under the sun!!

yup, my Mum ( who after her mother dies younge) helped raise her younger siblings. Often talks about them having the Terrible Twos in 1930's

Died Young sorry Spelling fail :(

She might well have never heard of the term "terrible twos" until relatively recently, because it was a term that only came into existence relatively recently. It might now be used retrospectively to describe behaviours at an earlier point in time, but wasn't necessarily used at that time. It doesn't mean it didn't happen though.

Not only that, but not all toddlers do tantrum. I had one that did and one that didn't.

But any notion that toddlers didn't tantrum pre 1990 or whatever, or that all babies were potty trained by 18 months (my MIL!) is a nonsense.

Well according to my mum who had us in '67, '69 and (me) '74 the terrible 2's certainly existed. According to mil however none of her children ('68, '70 and '80) ever had a tantrum - but I think that may be just because they are all perfect and she was/is a perfect mother!!!! Surprising really since 2 of her 3 offspring regularly have tantrums and strop out of the house when visiting us and someone says something they don't like and they are 32 and 44 now!!!

I think we forget my dds are older and with my 19yr old her tantrums as a toddler memories are fading so i guess by the time she has babies , she will have been the perfect child who slept all night and was never naughty grin

Your MIL is correct. It's a well known fact that before the 70's, 2 year olds never got tired, hungry, bored or frustrated.

YANBU. The phrase originated in the 1950s according to Dictionary.com

My mother has a similar habit of reinventing history .

No, that's rubbish, I have very clear memories of DSis' Terrible Twos, and my DMum calling them that.

According to XMIL, XH was the perfect child/teenager/adult so she's probably re-writing history like her.

I can remember ME having the terrible twos, in 1972.

I can remember the slapped arse I got as well! and the disapproving tuts my mum got off the people who were around as I went into my meltdown while out shopping, because I HAD to have some gloves. It was the middle of summer, and my little hands were most definately not cold!

I would have been 2 and a half, and I can still recall it quite clearly. I also remember having a proper strop because my mum wouldnt buy me an ice cream one day, and another foot stamping yelling session because she wouldnt let me go on the kids roundabout at Bury Market and have some hot potatoes from the stall there either.

Everything was just so unfair and mean apparently when I was that age!

I grew out of it by the time I was about 17....

I remember my kids terrible twos and all 4 now older.

My mom maintains I was an angel!! But my older sister born 1960 was a cow.

Memories of some are rose coloured I think.

My mum told me about the terrible twos and I was born in the 60's. I'm pretty sure that if we had them then and we've got them now that the 70's didn't miss out

My Mother was born in 1959, and my Grandmother says she was a right little shit from not long before she hit 2, and she still hasn't grown out of it :D

Don't think she has ever once referred to it as the terrible twos though.

I was born in 77, my db in 73 and my mum talks of the terrible twos, especially where I am concerned ( she reckons I had the face of an angel and temperament I the devil).

Speckle is correct in that it started around the 1950's, by Ruth Isbister. As soon as Freud had finished his theory on the 'stages' of humans, many followed with their take on it.

It is a stage recognised by all human development theorists as far back as the 1930's.

It is how they are handled that has changed.