Im currently sleeping in the dc's bedroom as dp and I haven fallen out of love

[lovehasfallenalongthewayside]

When I first met him I was happy go lucky,I now spend my days never going out,curtains permantley closed.

He goes out 3 times a week Im alone with dc's,he works hard that is without doubt, I resent him now as I feel so lonely and im considering whether to call it a day,as he makes no effort and I deserve to be loved so does he.

Advice needed please.

How do you feel when you do go out? Are you ok in yourself, or do you feel anxious?

I'm thinking that it does sound as if you are depressed, it's very common (I had it a few years back) it's potentially serious if untreated, but it CAN be treated, it can be managed, it can be cured.

You've done a great thing in posting here, reaching out, MN is a fabulous source of support, now time has come to open up properly to the GP, and your OH.

Keep talking, keep posting, you'll get there.

Im ok once Im out,I dont feel anxious almost relieved to be away from the house.

I will go to the doctors next week,thanks for listening.

Told the Ha for personal reasons we were cancelling the mediation can this gop against me does anyone know?.

That's good news about going out, i was concerned, due to the neighbour thing, that there could have an agoraphobia issue.

Good for you about the doctor. Let us hand hold if you need it?

It might be a good idea to tell the HA about why you are cancelling the mediation, about yout fears of reprisals, and the real effects the situation is having on your health and wellbeing.

Thanks I have left a message with HA,said any problems to call me.

Just to much to deal with at present, don't need added stress ,thanks for listening Thehappyhissy.

Exactly!

It's OK to prioritise things, and Tbh, if you are depressed, once you're a little stronger you can go back to the HA to tackle the issues you need to address, but perhaps with some more leverage.

It'll be OK, just keep talking, keep posting and just do things you feel able to do.

Q: how do you eat an Elephant?

A: one bite at a time!

:-D.

Ha ha,I can still smile Thh.

Im just dealing with one thing at a time at the moment,there is no point causing more stress that is not needed at present,hence why I cancelled the HA.

I will seek help for my depression next week,and hopefully I can deal with the fact that if you dont ask you dont get, thats a start.

You do very much seem to be depressed.

You said in your title that you and your dp haven fallen out of love. Did you mean you have or haven't?

Being depressed can cloud our views/judgements. Going from what you have said, your dp does seem like he does love you. He wouldn't try to get you to go out and "be the woman he once knew" aka, the woman prior to the depression who he fell in love with if he didn't. Does he know how you are feeling? Have you spoken to him?

You really need to speak to a professional. As soon as Monday comes, get yourself an appointment and in the meantime, get two pieces of paper and write down on one EVERYTHING about how you are feeling so you don't forget anything on Monday. On the other one, write down a list of things to do. For example, opening the curtains, popping out to the shops, meeting with a friend, having a hot relaxing bath, treat yourself, have a talk to dp etc. Then tick them off as you do them. It will feel SO good to do it. Trust me. I have been there. I couldn't open my front door without having a massive panic attack and I also hid behind closed curtains. I also became suicidal and thought dp amongst everyone else hated me. It does get better, I promise you. But you DO have to be completely honest with your GP for them to be able to properly help you.

I have never been happier now, and you will also get to this stage. Good luck.

PLEASE get some help

you deserve better than this, and your DC deserve a happy Mum (sorry if thats emotive)

See GP, ask for help, explain you are depressed
Buy a diary and note down every single thing the neighbours do (god it must be hard...)- keep head down and avoid them
Trust me on this one. GET INTO THE FRESH AIR, run in the park. pick some blossoms. but fresh flowers
eat good healthy food

This shit works as exercise and fresh air increase endorphins

you cannot fix everything

but baby steps, baby steps

and please trust me on the fresh air and exercise, it really can help whilst you get larger issues in hand

HANG ON IN THERE XXXX lots of people want to help, you know that right?

Thank you for all the wonderful advice,I know I have to ask for help I will first thing monday, and get it sorted once and for all.

I just did not want to admit what I already knew,I thought I could cope it seems not and what kind of life have I got none?,compared to what I could have.

I will do this for my family,I love my dp but have pushed him away its time to get the help I need thank you everyone for helping me face a difficult decision.

I agree with getting some help. Go to doctors . I think that everything else that has gone on has made you feel that you don't love your DH, and maybe you subconciousy partly resent him form being able to escape frrom your situation by going to work/going out, while you are stuck at home.

Please get some help before your situation gets worse.Clinical depression is a bitch, and you don't want it to get worse.

Have a sneaky hug (but don't tell anyone or my net cred will go by wayside :o)

Everyone else has offered such good advice so won't repeat just to give you a big hug, make that appointment and start your journey to happiness,

keep posting and also post on mumsnet mental health issues, it's brilliant and so many posters will have been what you are feeling now and come out the other side strong and happy.