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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to pretend that I do not remember this...

14 replies

bigmouthstrikesagain · 17/05/2012 20:40

next time I see the man I just turned away from the door (collecting for Christian Aid).

I have just realised why he looked familiar. He is the new member of the school Governing Committee that I am also a member of and will probably hate me now.

I do not now if he recognised me. Basically I was sitting with my feet up at the computer and trying to wind down after a trying day with a couple of poorly children (I think I am coming down with the virus too). Just taken my bra off and relaxing (still have top on thankfully )- the doorbell did not ring but it is unreliable so he probably tried it, the curtains are slightly open and suddenly I saw this mans face looming - looking through at me (rude?) so I thought I had better see what he wanted. He explained he was collecting for Christian Aid I said no thank you politely but decisively (no change, didn't like the face at the window thing and I don't really like door to door collections or religious based charities - but I did not say that).

He went on his way, but the front room was untidy due to children being around all day and I know I am going to be really uncomfortable next time I see him at the meeting in a couple of weeks. I just hope he has the grace to pretend it never happened as that what I will try to do.

Why couldn't he just go when no one answered the door?

OP posts:

JarethTheGoblinKing · 17/05/2012 20:45

Hmmm do you live near me? We've just had rude Christian Aid man peering through the kitchen window and shaking the box. I just shook my head at him (never give at the door)

Original poster

bigmouthstrikesagain · 17/05/2012 20:46

Oh dear maybe it is the training?

OP posts:

Tannhauser · 17/05/2012 21:19

Ooh- maybe you're next door neighbours?

Original poster

bigmouthstrikesagain · 17/05/2012 21:26

Maybe? I bet there are Charity collectors all over 'Christendom' shaking their boxes and peering through windows!

OP posts:

Firawla · 17/05/2012 21:30

Peering through windows is really rude, he should be embarrassed not you as you have done nothing wrong

Mopswerver · 17/05/2012 21:32

No need to feel shame. Be hard faced. Who cares what he thinks?

BreeVanDerTramp · 17/05/2012 21:32

That's awful , DH works away and I would be really spooked to see someone peering through window in the semi darkness.

My sitting room is also a tip a bit messy and I have removed my bra

Sposh · 17/05/2012 21:36

Goodness me, he rudely gawped at you braless, through the window in the name of christianity and you're the one that's embarrassed?

Worry not. If he's any kind of proper christian (a rare breed!) he'll realise that he was the one in the wrong and apologise to you profusely for his peeping tom behaviour next time you see him in school.

If he doesn't then report him to the pope. Or someone.

Original poster

bigmouthstrikesagain · 17/05/2012 21:38

Mopswerver - you are o so right - my brain knows this - unfortunately I have that annoying celtic skin that goes bright red when in 'uncomfortable' situations even while I am telling myself not to be such a twat. I just know I am going to be beetroot whenever I look at him - bugger. I had just got to a stage when I could speak up at the meetings without heating the room with my cheeks

OP posts:

goldbracelet · 17/05/2012 21:52

Completely inappropriate to have peered through Your window. HE should feel embarrassed when he sees you!

Mopswerver · 18/05/2012 10:30

Ha Ha bigmouth, I am a Celt too & also the owner of highly illuminating cheeks but just blank it out. As you say, act like it never happened as it is definitely he who should be embarrassed. If he mentions it say that you can't possibly take on any more charities at the moment. Don't apologise! When religious people come to the door I use this line in conjunction with friendly smile " I respect your views but I don't share them". To charities I explain that I already donate to several via Direct Debit and won't be changing them anytime soon. Delivered confidently (even if you don't feel it) & with a smile...who could argue?

sugarice · 18/05/2012 10:39

It must be Christian Aid policy to be pushy. We had an old lady who was extremely put out when I said I had no spare change.When dh turned up seconds later in his van she waited for him to get out and asked him if he had any to put in the spare paper pack she produced from her carrier bag. . OP just don't look him in the eye at the meeting, he's a nosy parker anyway!

CarpeJugulum · 18/05/2012 10:46

I have a strict "no money/purchase" at the door policy (occasionally waived for neighbouring kids collecting when I've been warned by parents).

I try to, when not stressed smile graciously, thank them for the option of donating, but then say that I only donate to certain causes close to my heart and never at the door.

Most collectors are fine with this. Those that aren't get short shrift!

scarletforya · 18/05/2012 11:37

Door to door collecting/sales etc is rude and invasive, so he is unreasonable for doing it in the first place. As for looking in the window, extremely pushy. He was well out of order there.

Imo a home is a sanctuary and the only people that should knock are those who have been invited. I wouldn't feel one bit bad, in fact I'd probably mention his behaviour was rude and unwelcome. I have zero tolerance for door to door canvassers.

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