To change my mind about driving

[fatherchewylouis]

Have a night out with friends on Saturday night, its a fairly big occassion and we have arranged to stay at a friends so we can have a late one into the wee small hours. My husband is taking the children to in-laws for the weekend so it is a rare opportunity for me to do a really late one and feel rubbish the next day without children jumping on me etc.

Another friend was going to drive up there and back the next day, it wasn't confirmed that I would jump in the car with her but I guess the assumption was there that I would as I live nearby.

Anyway today she said that she won't have car now so could I drive instead and I said yes as it only seemed fair but now I am regretting it because I hate driving hungover, I feel like I don't have my wits about me and these days I don't have big nights very often and generally arrange for them to be when I know I don't have to drive the next day, also I will also have to think carefully about when I stop drinking for being legal the next day which will put a spanner in the works for drinking into the early hours.

I am inclined to suggest we bus up there and offer to pay for a cab home the next day myself (can't really afford/justify paying for cab both directions myself). For context it is only about a 25 minute drive.

Am I being a bit selfish and neurotic, or is it reasonable for me not to want to drive. Happy to be told if I am being ridiculous about it but it is playing on my mind now and taking the shine off this night I have been really looking forward to.

I wouldn't drive hungover either.

Thanks for replying Netto.

Am inclined to take deafening silence from rest of MN as IANBU

Tell her your concerns and ask her to drive home?

Or could your DH and hers share the driving and give you lifts there and back?

YANBU
BUT, could you take the car and drive there and ask her to drive back?
Assuming she is not a complete pisshead...........

YANBU. Don't drive, and don't offer to pay all of the cab either. No reason why you should.

Do you need to be back early the next day? If not, just leave driving home until the hangover has worn off and you are 100% sure you are not still under the influence.

Peaugotgringo, my husband is taking the children away for the weekend so won't be around and she is single.

We could get a bus back but they will be more of a pain on a Sunday and I am feeling guilty because she is unable to drive us due to no car, whereas I am choosing not to drive us for my own benefit.

I am happy for her to drive us home in my car if she has insurance allowing her to drive my car (not happy for her to drive us uninsured obviously). I could ask her about that. She is a bit of a piss-head though, doubt she will be feeling any better than me, although probably more comfortable driving hungover than me as she has been driving 20 years versus my 1 year!

Driving hungover is basically the equivelent of driving with alcohol in you rsystem, ie illegal. Don't drive, get a bus there and share the cost of a cab home if the buses are no good on a Sunday.

YABabitU. You were quite happy to accept a lift from her. YANBU to not risk driving with alcohol in your body, or hungover.

Simple answer is don't drive hungover or with alcohol still in your body - don't set off until you are totally sober , clear of alcohol and free of hangover.

If she changed the circumstances, then I'm sure she'll accept that you are entitled to change your mind. You are only talking a 25 minute trip (people in London do that sort of journey using public transport/taxis all the time)

If it's reasonable for her not to drive (for any reason), then it's also reasonable for you not to drive.

Maybe she had second thoughts about driving whilst hungover, hence why she now 'won't have the car'.

Get the bus and enjoy yourselves, split the cab fare next day.

Driving hung over really means driving still drunk. I just saw a clip recently where the police have seen a massive increase in people driving drunk "the day after" and are cracking down accordingly. In one area (I forget which one) they have increased DWI arrests in the morning hours by nearly 200%. One woman who was arrested a had a level 3 times the legal limit and she hadn't had a drink for nearly 8 hours!

Would it be possible to have a good night out without drinking so much that you're hungover the next day? I love a drink. I love a great night out. I love a clear head the next morning. Time's too precious to lose it to a hangover.

Inertia yep, was happy to accept a lift (which is part of my guilt) but only because she was driving anyway, would not have asked or expected her to drive if she wasn't already (if that makese sense)

Captain kirk, this is the type of thing that really stresses me out about it. It's not worth the risk for the sake of a can fare.

Good point Scholes. I stopped planning for a hangover a good few years ago. Not fun, IMO.

OP you don't have to drive if you don't want to.