to not buy gender specific gifts for birthday parties?

[MousyMouse]

got a from another mum for giving some lego to a girl but it's not for girls because it's not pink

I hate this attitude

YANBU, but you know that.

Urgh! I would have had to bite my tongue very hard.

Clearly she would only have been happy with the pink Lego 'Princess tower'. I would have been thrilled had you given my DD normal Lego.

& how ungrateful too!

I still have the teethmarks on my tongue :o

I always thought that this attitude is a myth.

I never buy gender-specific presents. DD's friends get books or proper art stuff. I loathe it when all she gets for her birthday from her friends is pink sparkly shite. Use your imaginations ffs people.

So no, YANBU, but other mother most definitely is and should be tarred and glittered for her stupid sexist attitude.

Who wouldn't want lego?!

You gave an amazing gift.

I hate buying pink stuff for girls so do try and get something gender neutral, but some mums of girls seem to think that because something isn't pink then it isn't for girls!

And I would have been very happy with lego (and so would DD).

I work in a toy shop. I often have to bite my tongue about eg a small boy wanting a rag doll or a buggy and being told No, it's a girl's toy!
One granny came back in after her daughter had derided the lovely little wooden pushchair to her small son (he had been pushing it round and she told him to stop!), and bought it for him.
I thought things were improving but toy companies are leaning more and more towards gender specific toys and it really grates my cheese. Even the lovely Jellycat disappoint me more and more, every time we get their Jellykitten baby catalogue it's divided further into blue vs pink. Gah.

YANBU. We went to a birthday party recently and, in a fit of feminist anger, I bought the little girl a gender neutral present (can't be specific but it was nice and a brand, e.g. Tweenies, that is aimed at all children). She was dressed as a princess and was far happier with the pink stuff another friend had bought. Made me wonder whether I should have bought her something she would have preferred (pink, sparkly) or stuck to what I bought in the conviction that a four year old can't have made her mind up about that stuff yet.

I would assume that any four year old who prefers pink and sparkly to anything else has been brainwashed into it by their parents, in which case giving them something that is not pink and sparkly can only be widening their horizons and is a Good Thing. But I realise that that is not a popular veiw.

I bought a 10-yr-old girl a science kit (and not the soap or perfume one, note).

Her mum actually bothered to phone and say 'Oh, thank you! She really loves it, and everyone else bought her girly stuff.'

It's all got too bloody ingrained for my liking

Don't let DD hear you... She loves Lego and cars and machinery and puppies.

And DS always loathed LEGO! Just not his thing - couldn't be bothered with it.

I'm sure that little girls preferring pink and sparkly stuff - hasn't been brainwashed into them by their parents. My boys love pink and sparkly stuff - because it is sparkly! I do tend to ask girls parents what they would like as a present though, as I'm not overly au fait at what ages girls like particular toys.
I did buy one of my nieces lots of lego off my own back recently and she loved it. Her sister however was very happy with the princess playmobile.

I think that mum's attitude fucking stinks.

I've come over all angry!!
in fact, if anyone dared to give my dd pink-lego-because-it-was-pink-and therefore-for-girls, i would throw it back in their face (not to sound ungrateful, if they bought the pink lego because they liked it, that's okay, but if they bought it because it's for a girl, I would be mega angry)

peerie - i don't bite mine!
I say in a surprised sing-song voice, "oh, that's not fair, is it?" or "ooh, we don't do gender stereotyping here" or similar - with a big friendly grin on my face.

LittleMissGreen - i think it's more then, that not only have girls been brainwashed into believing pink/sparkly is for girls, but also boys have been brainwashed into thinking pink/sparkly isn't for boys.

it's horrible. what a horrid thing to do to children.

My three year old girl loves Batman, Fireman Sam and pirates right now. My six year old DD loves playing with cars and my eldest is into lego and football in a big way.

YANBU.

Hate all the gender stereo-typing you see with toys.

All 3 of our DDs had several lots of lego when they were younger and they also played with trains and cars as well as girly stuff and they are all in their 20's. That mother was being Very unreasonable and silly.

It can work the other way too though, I have a niece 7 who has been told she doesn't like 'girly' things, parents have gone the other way heavily and she parrots this at anything remotely girly, fine except when she took me up to her room she showed me a secret hiding space and in it she had a shiny necklace. why can't they have a bit of both if they want.

It's such a shame that some people would rather demonstrate their own philosphies when giving a gift than take into account what the recipient would really like.

Buying a little girl a present is not the time to flash your politically correct credentials, it's the time to put a huge smile on a kid's face. If that means she's over the moon with a blue T shirt or a some grey lego, great, but if what lights up her eyes is something pink and sparkly then that's what you should be giving her. A gift isn't about you, it's about the recipient.

But the problem I had (and TBH it was the first time I've done this with a present - I normally get whatever will make someone happy) was her age. I'm sure, as many people said above, lots of previous/current presents have been bought on the premise that girls = pink, boys = blue. Until a close friend (who I go shopping with regularly) had a boy I didn't realise just how difficult it is to avoid buying strictly pink/blue items for girls and boys respectively. It seems to be much more endemic than when I was a child, which is not that long ago.

If you are surrounded with pink items and constantly told 'this is the girls' section, that's the boys' section' rather than divided into action/dolls/sports/puzzles as it was when I was young, then how much choice or preference can you really exert at the age of three or four?

DD (21 months) attended a joint party for 3 of her friends - all were having their 2nd birthday (2 boys and 1 girl) - I bought them all exactly the same thing - a little doctors set in plastic case - they all loved it.

DD loves her dollies, prams and dressing up, but her favourite cartoon is Fireman Sam and the muddier she can get the better. I don't try and sway her either way - if she likes something it's her choice. Though I draw the line at buying any clothing with the word "Princess" on it.

I'll also add it was an item based on an activity I know she enjoys - the difference between choosing a pink, blue or red football.

YANBU. DS has lots of pink stuff because he likes it. Loves his hot pink hello kitty buggy. The main reason I didn't get him the white sparkly lelli kelli shoes was the £. Oh, and they were Velcro so he'd take em off and lose them.