AIBU to assume that any and all emails originating in Nigeria are scams?

[Graciescotland]

Moving back to the UK and am house hunting for somewhere to rent. I put an ad up on Gumtree wanted. AIBU to assume the Nigerian missionary with the slightly too good to be true offer is a scammer. Or am I utterly prejudiced.

Apologies accepted, Joan. But you've also demonstrated my point about why not to make assumptions!

Dreaming. Please stick to facts. As a rule of thumb any email from Nigeria can be about anything. Fact. Some are scams, but I'm willing to bet that the vast majority are not. Including those from my relatives.

I am both Nigerian and British. If anyone made such an offensive sweeping generalisation about Nigerians or Brits I'd come down on them like a ton of bricks.

I know the OP's intent was to exaggerate the situation for effect, that is quite obvious. But when that means insulting millions of people who are innocent of the stated crime, that is unacceptable, and I will not accept it.

Cogito - I think Nigeria has a lot of things that would be prioritised over dealing with the scammer issue. Many Nigerian people have to hustle for a living - this is just another type of hustle...probably very far down on the list given the prominence of issues such as the Area Boys.

DP is Nigerian, DS has a Nigerian passport. In my experience with family it is much more culturally normal for Nigerians to speak on the phone. They love to chat! Emails: I have never received one from any Nigerian person I know - only scammers. Unsolicited emails from anyone are clearly scams though - regardless of nationality.

I know 2 Nigerians, one I used to work with many moons ago, the other is married to a friend.

Nigerian scam emails are a standing joke. And we are talking about unsolicited emails, not ones from your relatives.

But thats not what OP meant and I think you know it. She meant every email directed at her, or anyone in the UK who doesn't have actual nigerian contacts. It was clumsily worded alright, but the essential point she intended to make (I'm presuming, OP can correct me if wrong).

So I think you are making some assumptions yourself, and being (understandably) over defensive.

Maya

And precious and disengenuous. You know what the OP meant and you are deliberately misinterpreting

Joan, my last post to you was tongue-in-cheek! Now, I said in my first post on this thread that I know she meant that specific email, but that the thread title was offensive and the OP should change it. She replied by justifying herself. Bad form. If someone had said something like that to me, I'd have apologised instead.

So it's not me that's being overdefensive, it was Gracie.

Well I'm not Nigerian and I'm not speshly PC and I winced a bit at the OP...

Know what she meant though.

But- sorry - do the British really have an international reputation as liars?! I am fascinated. Why?

Was it? Oh ok, seems I'm terrible at reading today. Soz.

And, to quote the famous remix of MIA's Paper Planes:

"I'm fresh from lagos, fresh from nigeria/if i look angry it's cause someone stole my visa/ if you walk into my kitchen you will see the white powder/i'll be by the cooker, whippin at you harder/don't be alarmed i'm just cooking pounded yam/afrikan boy, i'll never be a drug dealer..."

I have Nigerian family too but there is no denying that there is a reputation for Nigerian scammers that is well founded.

Latimer, when I challenged the people who've said this to me, they said you can't trust Brits because we say one thing when we really mean another. Words and face mismatch. It's one quality I hate about many people here so when they said that I found it hard to disagree...

Like your quote, by the way!

Joan, that's okay!

I've never heard that one about the British being liars. Bad teeth, cold fish, obsessed with the weather/bowels, yes, but liars I've not heard.

Aaaah yes: I can see how that would happen...

I've been hauled over the coals for that sort of thing - by fellow Brits, no less! - because I am so absurdly reluctant to have any kind of open disagreement that I would cheerfully go to my grave smilingly denying that I've taken any hurt/offence/disagreement

Unhealthy, certainly. And um yeah, just THIS CLOSE to being outright deceitful

What Brits see as politeness, others see as lying. I've heard it said more about the Japanese though, they will agree that black is white to someone who is older/more powerful etc than them.

I know two Nigerians. One says she would never date a Nigerian man because he would be bound to cheat on her (her words, not mine) and another who was my friends boyfriend. Really liked him at first, but the relationship ended when he nicked £500 off her

Obsessed with the bowels?! I hadn't heard of that one, either! I had heard it of the French, though...but I've never seen any evidence to back that up!

You've not met the XMIL Maya, she even used to obsess over her dog's bowels.

Oh wait! I know three! He is a dentist and obsessed with looking at my teeth. Obviously because I'm British and they are so bad! haha!

Joan - not just politeness, I'm afraid, though sometimes it is that. The example my friend gave just sounded like this person not being honest - she told my friend (a) and then immediately went behind my friend's back and told her boss (b) about my friend, which simply wasn't true.

Also passive aggression, which is very common in this country of repressed souls is often another way of trying to deceive, isn't it?

And from the discussions I've had with Japanese people about their culture, I can totally imagine that happening.

Mammie - what point are you trying to make there?

I am just saying that these are my personal interactions rather than those emails that everyone gets, so I am more likely to trust those than sweeping generalisations.

I'm not in the UK, so my knowledge is limited, but that sounds about just one person rather than a generalisation, there are mean and dishonest people everywhere.

The thing about most generalisations and sterotypes is that they are generally true, in some way, or else they wouldn't get to be stereotypes!

The only Nigerian I know is George Agdgdgwngo and he's sound.

He alerted me to the pigeon living in my bank account, so I gave him my bank details and he sorted it all for me.

I just got this. I dont think I want to make friends though, is that mean?

Hello. I hope that my letter will pleasantly surprise you. I still try to remember where I have found you. I think that I have met you on a dating site or in a social network. Actually I do not remember, because already have passed a lot of time. I at all do not remember the dating site name because I have removed my questionnaire from a site for a long time already. But I am glad to dialogue with you! In my opinion, it is very interesting to learn people from other countries. We can probably drop a line each other and learn each other better? Probably we could begin new strong friendship. Tell to me, where do you live? In what country? Now I live in Azerbaijan in town called Fatmayi. I am ready to new acquaintances, to new friends. And you? Probably you will give to me to a little time that we have learnt each other better? Now distance - not a probl em! We can learn each other via e-mails. In the future we can probably meet... But about it early to speak. Anyway I want to learn you better. Probably I will choose your country for my following holiday. I want to learn more about your country, about traditions of your country. My name is Aisa. What is your name? I am 27 years old. I send you my photo. I will tell about myself more if you become interested in me. I hope that I did not take away from you time. Also I hope that you liked this letter. I want that it became the beginning of new strong friendship. I look forward your letter. Take care!

Unfortunately, every email I have ever received from Nigeria has been an obvious scam (eg. I am a prince and need someone to deposit some money... etc etc).

Which of course does not mean all Nigerians (or even more than a small percentage) are scammers, but for many people in Europe random , unsolicited mail from Nigeria is extremely likely to be a scam. Plenty of random, unsolicited mail from anywhere is also a scam, but I think Nigeria stands out because the emails tend to mention the country.

One of my closest female friends is Nigerian and she has told me many times that she feels embarassed to tell people this because of scammers. Its very unfortunate, and I feel for her, but I think it is possible to be appropriately wary of emails from strangers, without translating that to being wary of people from Nigeria. Everyone deserves to be considered on individual merit.

Unsolicited emails from anywhere "abroad" from people i don't know are usually scams in my experience. Any unsolicited emails mentioning "god" are usually scams.