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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move him from this school?

32 replies

AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/05/2012 10:04

Ok here's the story..

DS is currently in reception at a very large CofE primary miles away from where we live (we moved house after he was accepted there)

DD will be turning 3 in December. I've applied for her to join him at this school but really don't fancy my chances I'm waaaay out of the catchment area and they won't take siblings already being enrolled as a reason for accepting. They also don't do January intake so she would have to wait until September 2013 before she started nursery.

There is a primary school very close to us that I've heard mixed feelings about. There are only 135 pupils, which sounds really good but some people have said it's not very 'modern'.

The CofE that DS is at is all high flying technology/science the pupils converse daily with pupils in another school in Denmark via video link etc etc.
but this little school is out in the sticks and has a great forest school programme in the woods.

They both have the same OFSTED result Satisfactory, however the CofE has just had their inspection just before christmas and they dropped from Good.
Whereas the little school had their inspection in 2010 and they weren't dropping they were improving...

I have no idea what to do because DS is so shy and I feel bad about throwing him into a class where everyone else knows each other but I'm beginning to feel that's the only option.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/05/2012 10:06

Meant to say... What would you do in the circumstances?

OP posts:
redskyatnight · 17/05/2012 10:09

Assuming that your local school has places sounds like the only thing holding you back is that your DS might find it hard to make friends?

Whilst I understand this is a concern, he is only in Reception and friendships will be fluid. Most likely he will soon fit in. It's certainly not a concern that should override all the very practical reasons for wanting him to move.

ObiWan · 17/05/2012 10:09

Well, having no knowledge of the children involved,my totally useless advice woul be to try to enroll them both at the smaller school.

People pay a fortune in school fees for small classes and access to forest school type things. Your DS will probably find a small school easy to become familiar with, and it will be nice to have his sister there.

And it will be local. Very useful when they want friends over, or after school clubs.

lou2321 · 17/05/2012 10:10

Personally I would go for a school that is improving as you know they are making an effort to make it a better learning environment etc.

I don't think all the technology in the world makes it a good school, DS2s school (independent) doesn't have all the best technology etc, it is investing in this slowly, but has a much more nurturing environment than the other private schools and I chose it for that reason. The recent report said it has improved in all areas since the last report so thats all I could ask for.

Have you been round the school?

Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/05/2012 10:11

That's what I thought redsky, about reception and friendships but the guilt is still there!

Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/05/2012 10:12

I've not been round yet lou, they are phoning me this afternoon to make an appointment.

OP posts:
fussbucket · 17/05/2012 10:12

He will re-adjust very quickly, even if he is shy, and you will appreciate it when his new friends and dds friends of the future are nearby for playdates etc. Sounds like the possible new school is on the up, the old one on the down, too.
Lots of bells and whistles and shiny things do not make a good school at KS1 and 2 stage, good teaching matters far more, and as an ex-Forest School parent I loved it and so did my dds.
Make the move as soon as you like IMHO!

toofattorun · 17/05/2012 10:12

I would move him.

fussbucket · 17/05/2012 10:13

Wow almost a record number of xposts!

ripsishere · 17/05/2012 10:15

I'd go smaller in your situation.
Skyping Denmark isn't the be all and end all. I really love my DDs small school, it's her fourth and she has fitted in well despite her only moving to the area (and England) in July last year.

lou2321 · 17/05/2012 10:17

I am sure you will have a better feeling for what's right once you have been round.

Bletchley · 17/05/2012 10:17

Reception is far too young for friendships to be a factor in your decision at all

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/05/2012 10:17

If you like the smaller school I would move him.

MrsPnut · 17/05/2012 10:36

I'd move him to the school closest to you, having all your friends near your home makes a huge difference when you are a child. DD2 goes to the village school and her friends all live within walking distance of our house, there is always someone to walk to and from school with and the park is often filled with a big group of them.

Also there is no reason why you can't find him a foreign penpal to converse with, there must be websites out there than can do some matching up, and he can use technology at home. Not all learning has to be done at school.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 17/05/2012 12:36

If you're going to move him, do it sooner rather than later. Could you actually physically manage with them at different schools some distance apart? pick up and drop off would be tricky surely? At that age they make friends easily, and there isn't such a "big thing" of being "the new boy" as there might be later on too.

simbo · 17/05/2012 12:43

Both in smaller school- definitely. Your ds will be the source of much curiosity as a newbie and you can use this to springboard friendships. Have a 'getting to know you' informal mass play at the beginning of term and he'll have lots of friends in no time.

Noqontrol · 17/05/2012 12:56

I'd go for the little school. My dd goes to independent school and it's not modern at all, but it's lovely. The forest school thing sounds great as well. And it's closer to you. The logistics of trying to get 2 children to 2 different schools miles apart would be a nightmare. And you could always get ds a penpal.

EssexGurl · 17/05/2012 12:57

Move him. I personally want my children to go to our local school where we can walk there, they meet friends on the way there, they can socialise with them after school, we meet friends in the library etc. Smaller schools can be so much better as well and it seems the smaller, local one is on the up. It is likely from what you've said your DD won't get into DS's school so you're going to have problems. Not quite sure what your dilemma is tbh!

MissFaversham · 17/05/2012 13:27

I'd move him. I opted for a small state secondary (although I was offered a place in a C of E school further away) for my DS just around the corner from where we live. It's proving to be the best choice I have ever made. My son loves it and the teachers know the pupils very well, they aren't just a number.

Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/05/2012 13:36

Dilemma is that pfb!DS is very against the idea and so is DH to a slight degree.

I'm going to let him miss school so he can come visit the little one with us next week see if that makes him feel better about the idea. I have a feeling once he sees the woods where they do the forest school he'll change his mind! (He's a mini Bear Grylls)

OP posts:
Stuart456 · 17/05/2012 13:48

Go for forest school.

Be aware that OFSTED uses euphemisms:

OFSTED Excellent = Excellent
OFSTED Good = OK
OFSTED Satisfactory = Poor
OFSTED Poor = That's Some Fucked Up Shit Right There

'Satisfactory' will shortly be rebranded as 'room for improvement' or something.

But also be aware that OFSTED's criteria for dividing good schools between 'Good' and 'Excellent' are based on the school agreeing with OFSTED about the way they should be teaching - if the school is doing something unconventional (which it sounds like they are, with the forest school thing) then they might be really good at what they do, but because it doesn't tick OFSTED's boxes, they might not get an OFSTED grade that reflects how good they are.

Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/05/2012 13:56

I didnt realise forest school was unconventional!

So I can choose between poor or poor! Grin

I've just spoke to them anyway, going to see theplace on Monday but I think my mind is already made up.

OP posts:
lou2321 · 17/05/2012 13:56

I know many instances where schools tick the ofsted boxes but are far from outstanding or good whereas schools that are satisfactory or good can actually be much better and the Ofsted reports can be up to 4 years old so a lot can change.

I would read the reports but not pay too much attention. DS1s schools was satisfactory when he started there and I chose it over our outstanding catchment school for various reasons. Even though it was satisfactory it was a glowing report and basically said the headteacher had not been in post long enough to get better than satisfactory but that the changes she had started to make were really positive etc. 2 years later they got a good with some outstanding parts so I know I made the right decision.

GateGipsy · 17/05/2012 14:02

It would depend entirely on the little boy and only you know how he is. I'd look at how well he adapts to new things rather than shyness? My son doesn't at all, and still hasn't got entirely over having to go to a different school for Reception (he's in year 2!). He's not remotely shy.

Even so, I'd still move him if I was in your situation, without a second thought. A tiny school that's improving and has a woods with a forest programme? Plus it is nearer to you and he'd be at school with friends who live closer, and with his sister.

It is a no brainer I think.

timetoask · 17/05/2012 14:46

If you are worried about friendships, then I would change schools now rather than later when friendships will be more established.

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