To not want to always go to the park after school pick up

[Goldenbear]

My son's school is opposite a park and whatever the weather the mums I have got to know like to take their children to the park. They will ask me in front of my DS who is very sociable and always wants to go.

The problems I have with this are that a) It is often very busy with infant school children and junior school children especially if it is a reasonable day. B) I have a 1 year old in tow who is only 13 months but already a bolter, in the crowds this is especially worrying. Also, despite my best efforts I am also very sleep deprived so I don't really have the inclination to visit the chaotic park! C) one parent will inevitably by their child an ice cream so I need to find the change for one for my DS, we are pretty skint at the moment so I feel a bit wasteful doing this.

D) we have a 2.2 mile walk after the park so If we visit the park first by the end of the walk home I have a grumpy 4 year old and usually crying baby to deal with. E) my DS is still 4, so he is pretty tired before we even get to the park. Finally, the school is also near the sea so I'm unsure why we always have to visit the overcrowded park. I do suggest the seaside but it's like I'm not heard.

Anyway, am I being unreasonable with any of those points. Another mum who I'm not friendly with told me I would isolate my son by not visiting the park, by just going home. I think this is ridiculous but does she have a point?

I agree that having a set day you go would be best, and make the park and ice cream DS's weekly treat for being good - good leverage for good behaviour if you schedule it for Fridays.

The mum you mention who confidently says no sounds nice, I think you should befriend her and ask for tips.

Do your friends also have the long walk home? I agree you should go on Fridays as a treat.

Or, you could invite people back for a cup of tea - once they realise how far you have to walk, they may stop being so insistent!

Our school is also very near a park. Lots of mums do go there every day after school, but we only go once every so often. I don't feel like DD2 is missing out socially by not going.

I would just do as you want to do. If you fancy a trip to the park then go along, if you don't then just say 'oh not today thanks, we've got something planned after school'.

You really don't have to compare yourself to others or justify your own decisions.

"No thanks, we can't make it tonight" :)

Repeat as required!

One friend has further to go but drives in. The rest live are very local to the school so they would be home before me starting to cook dinner whilst I am placating my 1 year old!

Yes, I would happily invite them for tea but I don't think they'd happily walk with me. When I have done play dates I have used my car, however I think people find it a hassle to come and collect their child from me in the car so the invites have decreased on that front!

I moved to this place by the sea 9 years ago, I wanted to live by the sea, I just think its odd and unimaginative(I suppose), to never visit it after school. Well I say never, I did go with one mum friend, Boho mum last September but she works so uses the after school club alot and DS is not as keen to play with her DD as he is with his friends that are boys!

When your 13 month old gets to about age 2, the trips to the park will get much easier! I remember this period with my children (similar ages to yours) and it's frantic and not at all enjoyable trying to do the playground.

I find the parents who want to go to the park every single day are the ones who have very 'spirited' or energetic children. In other words it's a nightmare for them to be indoors with them every day. I may well get flamed for that last comment but is the way it seems to be in my DC's class.

nbu seems like a good idea to go to the park after school but nearly everytime I've done this its ended in tears. I used to think it a good idea cos I do have one of those "high energy" boys but he just gets too tired and then wired.

YANBU. I wouldn't want to do that every day either! Maybe compromise and go once a week? Every day is a bit OTT, in my opinion.

They don't sound very sociable or friendly themselves, if they can't even be bothered to walk to your house for a cup of tea or collect their child from your house by car. They're giving themselves too much credit for being friendly when really they sound rather socially lazy. I would love to be invited for a cup of tea somewhere, as I'd much rather sit and chat with one nice person than listen to a crowd gossiping. It sounds like you're a different kind of person to many of them, perhaps not as extrovert and wanting to make more in-depth friendships with fewer people? So I'd work on the type of friendships you would really like.

letsflyaway 'I find the parents who want to go to the park every single day are the ones who have very 'spirited' or energetic children.'

I think you are absolutely right, and that was me! Before we moved there was a park opposite the DCs school and I would be there every day after school, not for social or anti-social reasons but because being at home/indoors with DD all evening was an absolute nightmare, and she seemed a bit young for clubs and stuff like that... we stayed for ages in the park after school, followed by a 25 min walk home and she would still be climbing the bannisters and bouncing off the walls when we got home. I got some comments from some other parents about always being in the park, but I just tried to ignore them.

OP do exactly what suits you and your family, don't feel you have to justify your decisions to anybody! And the seaside sounds lovely, tbh...