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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think the church organist deserves to burn for this?!

172 replies

purpleloosestrife · 16/05/2012 20:09

I'm getting married this summer, but everybody in the village knows the local church organist is awful and sounds like Les Dawson playing the piano on a GOOD day.

Anyway, I rang him - and he told me that he was on holiday on my wedding day.

(whilst secretly extremely happy & punching the air) I oh so tactfully and very politely said what a shame and said not to worry as I would organise someone else, and really hoped he enjoyed his holiday. All very nice... but then just as i was ringing off and saying my goodbyes......

Right, he said, now about my fee....I said what fee, you're not even going to be in the country so won't be playing at my wedding??? to which he replied... it is £100 regardless.

He's not even going to be there or play and I have to pay him £100 !!!!

I've had to also pay a second (professional) organist - who incidentally only charges £80 which also includes his travel and an hour of practise ( on a strange organ ooh er !!) before the wedding. So the local organist is overcharging as well as fleecing me!!!

AIBU to think a regular church goer should actually have more christian values????

Oh and he wants it in cash and seemed EXTREMELY put out when I said I would only pay him if he gave me a dated itemised invoice for tax purposes.

OP posts:

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 17/05/2012 17:43

Become an atheist and have a civil* ceremony. :o

*there's a reason they call it civil!

BoffinMum · 17/05/2012 17:45

The C of E is the Established Church of England, which means anyone has the right to get married there, including atheists, interestingly enough ...

Stuart456 · 17/05/2012 17:57

Google hasn't heard of the St Alban's rule...

Katisha · 17/05/2012 18:13

Sounds like Mornington Crescent to me.

mummytime · 17/05/2012 18:18

DH is grade 8 in a few instruments, but it's £80+ for weddings, it would be more if he did more than a quick chat about Music with you, his rehearsal and playing on the day. He only does it if convenient too.
I do think the OPs organist has a huge cheek.

LilyBolero · 17/05/2012 18:51

Some facts;

If the organist is available, he/she is entitled to the organist's fee for a wedding, whether or not they actually play. Part of the role of organist is an expectation that your salary will be supplemented by wedding/funeral fees.

If the organist is not available, they should not charge a fee, and should offer to find a deputy if required.

However.

In neither of these cases (or indeed if the organist does play), should the fee be paid directly to the organist. The couple should pay the fee for the organist, along with any other fees (bells/flowers/choir etc) direct to the church. The organist should then invoice the PCC for the money, providing a paper trail of where the money goes. If a deputy has been booked, then the deputy should invoice the PCC.

I can't think of any church where the organist is entitled to claim a fee for a wedding he is unable to play for.

Wedding rates can vary from place to place - typically a professional organist will charge over £100, perhaps £120/130? An amateur organist will tend to charge more in the £80 region.

If the wedding is videoed, the fee should be doubled, and if an audio recording is made, the fee should be increased by 50%.

HTH.

HillyWallaby · 17/05/2012 18:55

I reckon this is a fee to cover the use/maintenance of the organ, and like the equivalent of paying corkage on a restaurant where you bring your own wine. If he is a crap organist he probably gets overlooked for most gigs so it's a way of making sure he and the church in question still make some money.

LilyBolero · 17/05/2012 18:57

Hilly, it isn't, because he won't pay for that. If he was playing, the fee would go to him (and it should be via the PCC). Organ upkeep will come from PCC funds.

MarinaResurgens · 17/05/2012 18:57

I think the OP's vicar should sack this old blackmailer and offer the job to the chap purple has asked to play

BackforGood · 17/05/2012 20:16

Nickelbabe - you are generalising quite a bit there about organists. Our organist at my Church is a fine musician / organist. He plays because he is a member of our church and it is something he enjoys doing, and something he feels he can contribute to the life of the church, in the same way there are a team of men (and one lady as it happens, but that's not important right now)that do the DIY, and we have a top accountant (for which of course you need to be highly qualified/trained / educated / skilled) who does the books, and we have a GP who worships with us who always steps up if someone becomes ill, and then there's the teams that cater for the lunch club, the Junior Church LEaders, the local preachers who take the service, etc.,etc.,etc. not everyone does things just for money you know.

He would charge for a wedding for people 'hiring' the church, but won't take a penny off regular churchgoers - he says he love to be part of the occasion.

nickelbabe · 18/05/2012 12:07

i'm not.
an organist should demand a fee.
it's only right.
and a christian establishment should accept that.

and obviously it's down to the individual.
a lot of people from all professions will do things for the church out of the goodness of their heart, but the church should not expect it, and should always offer a fee, even if it's not accepted.

Incidentally, it doesn't accurately reflect the outgoings of the church, if people don't take a fee. It means that the quota is unfairly balanced, because the Diocese goes "oh, you've not got many outgoings have you"
In our church, we are encouraged to claim expenses, but if we really don't want them, to give them back to the church as gift aid. That accurately reflects the church's outgoings/costs, and once it's your money, you can do what you like with it.

TheRhubarb · 18/05/2012 14:56

LilyBolero, facts unfortunately get in the way of a good debate!

Be prepared to repeat yourself a fair bit and be ignored even more.

sereneswan · 18/05/2012 15:08

Don't pay! What's he going to do? Take the organ with him so no one else can use it??

oopsi · 18/05/2012 16:09

Crikey! When I got married I didn't pay a penny to the church or the organist!! The organist waived his fee as a wedding present to us, and I bwas invited to make a donation .I donated £50 I feel like a right tight-arse now!!

Robyn33 · 18/05/2012 23:48

I see you have spoken to the vicar and received the most ridiculous response. The church has a long history of fleecing people. It's no wonder people are turning away from the church. I prefer the pink biscuits to those dry things they give you that stick to the roof of your mouth.
It's probably too late too move your wedding. With the naff response you got from the vicar you should Name and shame the church and the organist. Leaflet campaign- posters on every lamp post. That'll learn 'em. You'll enjoy yourself and feel better about being fleeced. Then see how many people pay him not to have their wedding at the church and pay the organist to not play at their wedding.

QueenEdith · 19/05/2012 07:56

Sorry, to be dim but I've just looked back at the thread hoping to find the vicar's ridiculous response. All I could find was one statement that 'the vicar is aware' and a general tone that the vicar is a bit wet. Where is it - please help me!

LilyBolero · 19/05/2012 09:21

If the OP knows the church, she could speak to someone on the PCC and ask it to be raised, because the fees shouldn't be subject to debate, they should be invoiced via the PCC, so any monies should be paid directly to them, they can then issue fees as appropriate.

LilyBolero · 19/05/2012 09:22

(raised at a meeting, that should read)

MooBaaWoofCheep · 19/05/2012 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katisha · 19/05/2012 10:05

I still get a fiver to turn up on a Saturday and sing at someone's wedding and I'm an adult with two music degrees...that fee will include rehearsal time! The choir gets a set group fee.

nickelbabe · 19/05/2012 10:37

we've had a pay rise to £6.50.(in line with minimum wage)
unfortunately, it means we have to put up the group fee, too, because last time some of it had to come out of choir funds.

uggmum · 20/05/2012 09:30

My stepdad is a church organist. Although he gets paid for weddings he does not receive payment for church services. He does it all for free and always has (40 years). So that's twice a day every Sunday and all the extra services for events during the year.

He only charges for weddings if he actually plays.

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