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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect a reply to a text after....

26 replies

GnocchiNineDoors · 16/05/2012 17:01

...a month?

Seriously. I just think it is rude to leave it that long to reply.

I text a friend who I work with (though I am on Maternity Leave and have been since the start of December) who is pregnant. The last time I saw her, she told me she was pg and after I left (had popped into work for a cuppa with some colleagues and a catch up) she text and said "great to see you, we don't see enough of you". I replied that it was great to catch up and that I was so happy for her, her partner and her little boy that they were getting an addition to their family.

About a week later, I text to say that if she was interested, I had a few unisex bits that DD had outgrown and that if she wanted them, she was welcome. I also said that if she wanted all new or didn't like hand-me-downs that I wouldn't be offended if she declined. I didn't get a response and didn't really think about it for at least a week, then remembered and actually worried that something might have happened i.e. problems with the pregnancy and obviously replying to texts would be at the bottom of her list.

However, a couple of weeks later I popped back into work. I am in a savings club, so pop in once a month to add my share to the club. I enquired as to whether my friend was in, and was told yes and that she was 'blooming' so I was obviously relieved that all was well. She was in a meeting for the time I was there so unable to catch up.

I know texts are not the best method of communication but as she works hard and very long hours, us chatting on the phone is impractical. Also, I would class us as friends, but we aren't close enough that we go on nights out etc, just the odd catch up drink / coffee.

The main thing is that I am worried I offended her with offering DDs things, but I tried to word the text in a way which she knew I wouldnt be offended had she said no.

I probably am BU and just over thinking it. I just suppose I really wouldn't leave it a month to reply to a text.

OP posts:
NadiaWadia · 16/05/2012 17:03

Maybe she didn't get the text? Or accidentally deleted it? Or she gets so many that she forgot she didn't reply to yours.

I would jump to any conclusions yet, just message her again, or ask her directly.

scarlettsmummy2 · 16/05/2012 17:03

Maybe she didn't get the text? New number or something?

Shakirasma · 16/05/2012 17:04

I've often been sent texts which I never received. Perhaps she didn't get it?

Firawla · 16/05/2012 17:04

maybe she forgot? i wouldnt read too much into it

ll31 · 16/05/2012 17:04

its a text for gods sake - prob as prev poster said she missed it, deleted it or forgot. If you want to ask her something ring her - you obv have her number

2shoes · 16/05/2012 17:04

yabu
why do people insist on texting, my son does this, I don't live on my phone so miss them.
ring her or go see her

FaceForRadio · 16/05/2012 17:05

she's probably genuinely forgotten about the text - I do it all the time.

Give her a ring and invite her to coffee.

She may even appreciate the gesture.

Texting is shit anyway. You want an answer, you call :)

LentillyFart · 16/05/2012 17:05

If 'text' is to be used as a verb then you texted her. Maybe that's why she hasn't answered?

GnocchiNineDoors · 16/05/2012 17:07

My apologies Lentilly "I sent her a text".

It probably is my grammar.

OP posts:
mothmagnet · 16/05/2012 17:07

Yanbu, but I'd resend the message.

I am a terrible replier and once a couple of weeks have passed, I presume it's too late for me to reply, so don't bother. I'm relieved if the person gets in touch again as it gives me another chance.

I know it's rude - sometimes it's hard to reply if you have to consider what you're going to say, so you just leave it for a better moment.

GnocchiNineDoors · 16/05/2012 17:07

I know, you are all correct, and the voice of reason. I am just, I suppose, feeling a bit out of the work loop, which is fair enough really as I'm not at work, and got too much bloody time on my hands Grin

OP posts:
EndoplasmicReticulum · 16/05/2012 17:16

I probably have texts older than that. I don't think I've used my phone in a month.

If you emailed me though you'd get a reply much quicker.

betterwhenthesunshines · 16/05/2012 17:19

Did it take you longer to write the post than it would have done to call her up and ask her how she was?

my2centsis · 16/05/2012 17:22

Meh I often get texts while I'm right in the middle of doing something and think I will txt back later then completely forget.

I'm sure she wasn't meaning to be rude.

Personally I will think shit must txt x back and forget again!

I'm shocking! Please don't think too much into it :) odds are she's just completely forgotten.

I would say pregnancy brain but last time I said that some mn'er got angry and said there was no such thing :)

GnocchiNineDoors · 16/05/2012 17:24

Hahah, for certain, better Grin

She probably has forgot.

OP posts:
GetTheeToANunnery · 16/05/2012 17:29

I reckon she's just forgotten tbh. I'm a nightmare for forgetting to reply to texts.
It is hard being out the social loop but try not to take it to heart

GnocchiNineDoors · 16/05/2012 17:38

Well, heartened by you all, I have sent a quick text to say Hi and that I hope she is well and to wish her luck as theres an audit at work soon, for which she will have some responsibility.

Grin thanks.

OP posts:
BIWItheBold · 16/05/2012 17:40

I find it hard to believe that you and/or she hasn't got the time to have a phone call!

Just ring her.

GnocchiNineDoors · 16/05/2012 17:42

I have the time, I have plenty. She, on the other hand works the most random shifts and as she is about 6months pg Im hesitant to ring randomly as she may well be napping etc.

OP posts:
betterwhenthesunshines · 16/05/2012 17:44

Texting again ..... go on, just call!! I only say this as it's so easy to fall into the trap of texting (you know just in case you are disturbing anything, she's too busy, blah blah) but maybe we should just go back to, y'know, conversations :o

betterwhenthesunshines · 16/05/2012 17:44

cross post. Ok. x

maddening · 16/05/2012 17:51

I'm awful with texts as always think I'll text so and so in a bit and invariably forget - then too much time goes past or life carries on (severe lack of sleep for 1.5 years does not help much either)

just send a breezy how's the pg going, sorry I missed you when I came in, do you fancy lunch with dd and I? Here's a photo of dd blah blab blah sort of a text

maddening · 16/05/2012 17:52

cross post - good call :-)

BIWItheBold · 16/05/2012 17:54

Just call! You are as important as she is!

SparkleSoiree · 16/05/2012 18:00

My friends and I often exchange texts which don't get replied to - life moves so fast sometimes!

I wouldn't take it personally...it sounds like she has her plate full. As you didn't ask a direct question and made more of an offer maybe she has put it to the back of her mind for the moment..

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