to think should take compassionate leave?

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His dad died last night but he's insisting on working today. I am Iso worried about him he's almost in denial

Let him if he chooses to. Some people react to shock by trying to make things carry on as normal. Denial is normal, to some extent. Especially if it's a sudden bereavement.

Pink he is probably a bit in shock!! I dont know, sometimes its better to keep busy and keep your mind occupied otherwise you go into overdrive. I know when my mum died I was more or less straight back to work and same with DH when he lost his dad and then his mum.

Keep a close eye on DH though and just be there to support him.

Sorry for your loss x

I'm really sorry to hear this, perhaps he's still in shock - was it out of the blue? Maybe he just needs to be at work at the moment, but I'm sure maybe later today or tomorrow it will catch up with him? All you can do is be there, if he says he wants to work there's not much you can do until he gets his head straight.

Huge sympathies, my DH lost his dad last year and it was very hard times. He struggled very badly and for quite a long time. It was hard for me too as he pushed me away and I also felt I had no right to grieve, which was silly as I saw more of FIL than he did in the last couple of years.

Take care of each other. x

If he wants to work, then let him. Some people need to be doing something, and if others are sorting out the funeral etc, and there isnt anything that he can do right now, let him carry on as he is but just keep a close eye on him.

When my Dad died, I went into the office, got everything organised, sorted out and handed over and started my compassionate leave the next day. That way I could forget about work issues because I knew they had all been dealt with.

Its just the way I coped.

I'm so sorry. When DH's father died it hit him very hard, not least because as a man, he didn't know how to handle it and ploughed on. About 6 months later he completely broke down on holiday because he stopped and grief hit him. He was fine - had a week off when we got home and then started getting better. Looking back he had been very very grumpy for 6 months.

As an HR professional would it be wise to have a very quiet word in confidence with someone he works with so that they can keep an eye, especially if he works with heavy machinery or anything that needs keen H&S protocols.

Keeping busy can help. If he continues to just want to work and not have time to grieve, then it would be time to be concerned. For now, just be there to support him.

Thank you for understanding I will let him get on with things

Just be there for him when he needs support. I think grief can make people act in unusual ways. The day after my dad died I was staying at my mum's and walked into town (hour's walk away and normally just get a bus) and got a haircut. My siblings probably thought I was really selfish and selfcentred!

Agree with the others.

He is in shock. This is what he needs to be doing now. You'll probably find he'll crumble at something really innocuous.

Just be there for him when he needs you. Some people find that they carry on as normal for a while and then, when they are able to handle it, they begin to grieve.

When DH's gran died MIL and FIL took a week off as compassionate leave and then they went on the holiday they had already booked for a week. DH's Aunty just took the day of the funeral off (although I think that was all that she was allowed to take anyway).

When I was at school one of the boys in year 11 committed suicide just before they went on exam leave. His sister came into school the next day to do her year 10 exams. Some people need to cling onto something "normal".