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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report neighbour for destroying graves in her back garden?

51 replies

PrunellaDeVille · 15/05/2012 13:04

so a neighbour lives in a house she originally built on her own back garden which used to be a graveyard - i would assume the original planning permission would make provision for the graves to be treated with respect but i cann't find the original planning statements anywhere online.

So i heard from another neighbour, who doesn't want to get involved, that she has had diggers in to destroy the stones and lay the lot to lawn.

If the stones had been moved to the boundary it wouldn't be so bad but this action seems so callous.

This woman always gets involved with other people's building/civic issues so AIBU to put in a complaint to the planning dept - they can only accept a complaint if i give my name and i don't want to start a local dispute Hmm

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 15/05/2012 14:06

Oooh - I was right about something! Grin

Thanks nickel!!

typicalvirgo · 15/05/2012 14:07

contact the local parish or vicar with photos as evidence ?

Popoozle · 15/05/2012 14:07

I wouldn't be happy with it - on a personal level, I find it very disrespectful regardless of how old the graves are (final resting place and all that Hmm). I wouldn't want an ancestor of mine being cleared/relocated/whatever, even if they had died 500 years ago.

On a legal level though, I've no idea if you would have a case for complaint or not. Definitely check though and, if she is breaking rules, go for it!

Original poster
PrunellaDeVille · 15/05/2012 14:08

teaandcake right with you there, i'm a sentimental old fool when it comes to graves. i would actually rather like to have a graveyard in my back garden but i appreciate that it's not a view everyone shares.

planning dept couldn't find the records and couldn't accept it being raised anonymously but said the best bet would be to have someone visit to check how the land lies. for this they would have to take my name but treat it 'in confidence'.

OP posts:
chipmunksex · 15/05/2012 14:09

YABU not a good idea to hold a grudge.

seeingstars · 15/05/2012 14:09

I wouldn't do it OP. Revenge is best when it comes around naturally. Wink Sit and wait.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/05/2012 14:11

When did she build this house? Would she have got the graveyard for less than she should have, because of planning regs and so on?

If that's the case, then she's no better than property developers who buy pubs (at a lower price than a house of a similar size) and then deliberately run them into the ground before applying for change of use.

On the other hand, maybe she's been playing a waiting game; perhaps now the 100 years thing is up she's free to do as she wishes.

Jins · 15/05/2012 14:11

OP if planning can't find the records then it's going to be an old permission and probably won't help you.

I seem to remember from my local authority days that there was a department with responsibility for graves and cemeteries. Why not ask their advice?

Popoozle · 15/05/2012 14:13

If I've read Nickel's link correctly, they are saying that a grave must be over 100 years old to be reused, but once it has been reused once it can be reused again at any time Confused. Up to 6 times?

So, in effect, you could lay granny to rest on Friday only to have the grave reopened and Mrs Bloggs from down the road popped in on top the following week? Shock Someone please tell me I have read it wrong!

Salmotrutta · 15/05/2012 14:14

chipmunk - wasn't there a story on the news a couple of years ago about a family not being allowed to put "Dad" on the gravestone?
The church didn't like it or something and insisted on Father.

I think Spike Milligan did get "I told you I was ill" on his!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/05/2012 14:14

Out of interest, how is it that her garden used to be a graveyard?

GeneHuntsMistress · 15/05/2012 14:17

Has she never watched the poltergeist

Jins · 15/05/2012 14:18

I don't think planning will be able to help at all actually. If she built in her own garden it sounds like it's been in use as a garden for some time and even if she didn't apply for formal change of use she'd get established use anyway.

Mrsmuppethead · 15/05/2012 14:18

Look honestly at your motivation. Anything done for the sake of spite is wrong and never, ever, ends well.

Teaandcakeplease · 15/05/2012 14:25

The graves are still there aren't they? She's just turfed over the top and removed headstones? I still cannot understand why the stones could not be propped up against the wall in the garden, so they were still there. Some churches do do that with very old stones.

You can imagine someone having a shock in years to come when she sells and they perhaps do some work on the garden Grin

Original poster
PrunellaDeVille · 15/05/2012 14:26

So a few answers:

she built the house less than 10 years ago in her back garden then moved into the new house. her first house at the front of the property was a 1930s ish house that had probably been built after the church went out of use. The plot had previously been a baptist chapel's grounds but the church had closed many years (no idea how long) before and the area keeps getting built in closer and closer on all sides.

the information i received is from a neighbour and close friend who, as a landscaper, was asked to go and look at the job of renovating the garden and the diggers were there at the time doing their worst. so i trust the hearsay.

good news - they've found the records and there was indeed a planning restriction that the graves should not be disturbed OR the stones removed.
I know on many levels IABU to get involved but i'm going to do it. Maybe some elements of the graves could still be saved for posterity but if nobody does anything they'll be gone for good.

OP posts:
Jins · 15/05/2012 14:27

Fantastic news that there was a condition. Planning will definitely be interested now

Teaandcakeplease · 15/05/2012 14:40

Diggers? Shock Sad

Yuck.

HermanMumster · 15/05/2012 14:47

Good for you. I hope she hasn't actually been that insensitive and things are better than you think, but if she has, serves her right.

Would the local paper be interested?

Original poster
PrunellaDeVille · 15/05/2012 14:52

All very useful replies, i've had a serious ponder on my motives and agree that vengeance is not a good thing, especially as it may well rebound on me.
i've concluded though that my disgust at her callous act of vandalism outweighs my disgust at my own spiteful motivation

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 15/05/2012 15:08

Just a point of interest...My sister lives right next to a very ancient church which has been a site of worship for around thousand years...she regularly digs up bones...which she covers up again!

I think it's afascinating subject...

Tee2072 · 15/05/2012 15:34

I was also going to mention Poltergeist...

squeakytoy · 15/05/2012 15:39

I remember reading something in a history book (Andrew Marr I think) about how most of us live on top of burial sites.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 15/05/2012 16:10

Oh really? Yack. What a thought!

Hullygully · 15/05/2012 16:11

The ghosts will get her.

Whooooooooooooooooooooooo

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