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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the way DH gets involved when there is a minor househod mishap?

23 replies

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 15/05/2012 00:06

He's like one of those people who come and rubberneck at a road accident!

DD is 4 and I always take her for a wee in the night...about 9.30 or 10..00 so that she doesn't wreck the sheets etc.

Tonight I forgot and went to check only to find I had missed the moment...so had to change bed whilst DD continued to snore on a pile of towels on the floor. Hmm

DH hears the moving about and comes to stand on the stairs and watch! His head was poking up over the bannisters...he's just stood there looking at me!

SO I gestured at him to bugger off as he was saying things like "is the bed wet?"

I wanted to say NO....I thought I would change it for a laugh!

He wasn't helping in any way...just looking. He does this is someone breaks a glass or something...WHY WHY WHY??? He now says I am a miserable bugger because he "just wanted to know what was going on."

FFS.

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 15/05/2012 00:07

Next time and every following time he does this say "Oh glad you've appeared, here you take over while I go and do X" rather than letting him just stand there!

Noqontrol · 15/05/2012 00:15

Maybe he felt as though he was supporting you in his own little way. My Dh does this, it's fine. I rubberneck back so it's a two way street Grin

scarletforya · 15/05/2012 00:15

Feckin' rubbernecker!! You should have thrown the pissy sheets at him!

Nanny0gg · 15/05/2012 00:16

Why didn't you ask him to help?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 15/05/2012 00:30

PMSL at scarletforya Grin

mynewpassion · 15/05/2012 01:42

Is he not part of the household?

ShakeWhatYourMamaGaveYou · 15/05/2012 02:24

Is this man really your husband? You sound like you're bitching about an unwelcome houseguest or a useless in-law..

Yep, give him a job next time. Might stop the loitering or even better, help you out.

ZacharyQuack · 15/05/2012 02:30

Every time he turns up to watch you, find something for him to do. Then he'll either become helpful and less irritating, or he'll wise up and steer clear.

savoycabbage · 15/05/2012 02:31

Mine is a 'stander' too. Usually right in the middle of the kitchen. He stands and waits for the kettle to boil - I could never do that. I have to do something else! And he doesn't get his keys out till he reaches the front door. Start of the path man for heavens sakeGrin

He will happily do a job if instructed though.

It's just the way he is so I have accepted it now. I'm sure as hell far from perfect.

Original poster
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 15/05/2012 09:19

So annoying!

OP posts:
BlackholesAndRevelations · 15/05/2012 09:22

I agree- get him to do something useful! Silly man.

fryscream · 15/05/2012 12:01

Oh my word. Pot calling the kettle black house Confused

OldGreyWiffleTest · 15/05/2012 12:18

Next there'll be a post from someone saying that she does the bed-changing all ON HER OWN whilst her DH snores away oblivious. They just can't win, can they??

MoodyNagoo · 15/05/2012 12:20

Tell him what he can do to help you.

You miserable bugger. Wink

2rebecca · 15/05/2012 13:22

I think it's sad that you see changing the sheets as something that shouldn't involve your husband. of course it's his business. His kid has wet the bed and there are sheets to be changed. Involve him, don't push him away. Why are you "always" taking her for the late night wee.
You chose to have a kid with this bloke, get him parenting.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 15/05/2012 13:31

I think I know what you mean OP. My husband does the rubbernecking bit too. It's not that I mind him being there, I don't. It's not that it's none of his business as it surely is! It's that he JUST stands, watching me, doing nothing useful! If I ask him to help, he'll looked shocked and then say "Oh! Oh, er yeah, of course." He could just as easily walk over and take the pissy sheets to put in the machine, but won't unless asked. Why, oh why does he feel the need to come and watch if he's not intending to help in the first place?

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/05/2012 13:35

"Next time and every following time he does this say "Oh glad you've appeared, here you take over while I go and do X" rather than letting him just stand there!"
Perfect!

BeaWheesht · 15/05/2012 13:38

I know what you mean.

Dd falls over spectacularly quite a lot - shes quite a toughy so 9/10 she gets up as if nothing has happened. On the times that she doesnt you know its because shes hurt herself, I know this, ds knows this, dh knows this, so WHY OH WHY does dh just sit there looking at her? He isnt a bad dad at all, very attentive, very loving, great with the kids etc but this just seems to be his 'thing'. He also does the 'just standing there' while the kettle boils / the microwave is cooking/the toaster is toasting etc, it drives me round the twist.

Floggingmolly · 15/05/2012 13:40

I do this myself Blush

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 15/05/2012 13:45

I agree with 2rebecca

Original poster
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 15/05/2012 15:15

2rebeccaa he works nights so they're always my business...on his night off, I don't expect him to do those things mainly because DD is a fusspot and likes things to be done the same...if she wakes up, he''s likel to chat to her and she's up all night.

He does enough parenting....except when he's watching me do my bit.

OP posts:
manicbmc · 15/05/2012 15:21

What they said ^ give him the wet sheets to take away. Gets him out from under your feet.

CremeEggThief · 15/05/2012 15:49

Have a list of jobs ready for him for next time.

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