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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave DH to his histrionics

11 replies

gnomeland · 14/05/2012 23:22

I work part time, DH works full time.

I do school run every morning and 2 afternoons. Pick up from CM 2 afternoons and DH picks up once.

DH does give kids breakfast and we share stories / reading / bedtime.

DH does most of the cooking, I do most of the housework and all of the organising.

Well, tomorrow I have a conference. DH has to do drop off and pickup and bedtime.

Honestly, you'd think the world had ended. I have laid out clothes and bags, organised extra childcare etc but still he's stomping around the house, shouting to himself about how much work he had on, loudly opening and closing doors etc.

He did some work until late then finished, did a lot of shouting about how much he had on and has now gone back to his study where he says he'll be working 'for another couple of hours'.

I've come to bed.

I know he is busy BUT he is away overnight the following day and you can bet your life I won't be storming around the house whilst he sorts the kids bags for the morning.

He looks like a toddler who's throwing toys whilst watching me out of the corner of one eye.

OP posts:
MoonlightandRoses · 14/05/2012 23:28

Well, you know how to manage a toddler who does that...

NicNocJnr · 14/05/2012 23:57

Agree with MaR!

Let him get over it. If he's being a pillock wait for him to make the first move. If you are genuinely worried he's finding too much have a chat, that can include the phrase 'two-way street' btw.
Nothing wrong with letting hm know he's being a berk and then getting on with what you need to. He's a grown up he can manage the kids for one day.

startail · 15/05/2012 00:08

My DH is a bit like this, I just give him lists of what needs to be done and then I leave.

Last time I went away I rang to find DD2 had decided to be ill, he was working from home so they'd managed perfectly well.
No moans at all.

It's a lot of hot air they can manage really!

BabyDubsEverywhere · 15/05/2012 00:16

I would calmly remind him that he is going to give his children the impression they are a burden to him, that he doesnt have time for them, and that he doesnt want to spend time with them...then play that cat stevens song about the cat in the cradle or something like that and leave :)

OhdearNigel · 15/05/2012 00:18

i find ignoring Dh when he throws these sorts of little wobblies is the best strategy

ChippingIn · 15/05/2012 00:27

What an absolute twonk

He needs to grow the fuck up. Ask him if he's ever seen you throwing such a childish strop over doing what needs to be done for the kids?! GIT.

Original poster
gnomeland · 15/05/2012 08:54

Thank you all.

I went to bed and went to sleep. He came to bed some time later and proceeded to toss and sigh so violently I think he must have actually launched himself into the air at one point.

I left this morning, after taking him a cup of tea in bed (he does this for me usually). I presume the children are now at school.

DS1 got up early and, when I switched tv on for him, noticed tv was switched to play station. No doubt DH needed to 'unwind' Wink

The problem is, I know he's busy but these melodramatic grand gestures have the opposite effect on me. The shouting at his computer, but only when he thinks I'm in the next room. The bluster of it all.

Ridiculous.

I'm not intending to discuss it with him, just ignore. Especially as he is away tomorrow overnight. I'm hoping the absence of my hissy fit will be apparent.

Or maybe that's wishful thinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
gnomeland · 15/05/2012 09:58

Ha, just for a text from my friend to say that she had bumped into him on arriving at school and offered to take them in for him (infants).

I am keen to see whether he fesses up later.

OP posts:
OhBrotherWhereArtThou · 15/05/2012 10:39

Ha! My DP used to do this. I only work one day a week, he works shifts. So, on that day I work, he starts at a variety of times if he happens to be working.

His mum takes both DCs for us. I start at 10, so if he's in at 9 I take them. No big deal. If he was in at 2, he would ask me to have their stuff ready so he could basically grab-and-go. Don't really mind that either, I did think he was being a bit dramatic but went with it for a quiet life. We went on this way until one week he happened to be on the late shift, starting at 4, and asked me to have everything ready for him. I laughed! I didn't mean to, but it was the best thing I could have done as he realised how ridiculous be was being.

They're all so hard done by Grin

plutocrap · 15/05/2012 11:29

What happened to the time when men were supposed to take pride in being the competent ones, when women were meant to be weak and a bit feeble-minded?!

Probably they wised up and decided it was much more pleasant to be lazy.

Original poster
gnomeland · 15/05/2012 13:43

Yes, was tempted to print out definition of learned helplessness Grin

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