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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate my neighbours?

18 replies

kirsty2008 · 14/05/2012 19:24

We've had all sorts of problems with my neighbours. Intimidation, stalking, threats, loud parties etc. Had to call police umpteen times. Also got lawyers involved. Stressful to the point of me ending up in hospital with it all. (long story short here)

DD is 4 as is their DD. They used to play together (same toddler classes etc) and things were okay back then but neighbours have stopped their DD playing with mine. TBH I'd prefer they weren't playing together myself but they are kids, only 4, so I would not have stopped it myself if their DD came over.

DD goes out sometimes to play with other kids, however it seems those kids are now having to choose who to play with.

Tonight, they decided to do 'eeny meeny miney mo'. DD lost. Their DD won.

My DD is obviously really distressed by it all. Also from what my DD has told me, it seems their DD is calling my DD names and telling other kids not to play with her.

Its bad enough that all the other adults in the street are friends with my neighbours and have been joining in the abuse we've been getting but now my DD is being affected :(

So it looks like my DD will be staying in all the time. :(

I hate my neighbours.

OP posts:

monkeymoma · 14/05/2012 19:26

can you talk to the parents of the other children?, it is not fair that kids do that! I would tell my child off if they were one of the eeny meeny miney mo kids!

Do the other parents/children know that YOUR child doesn't have any restrictions about who plays, its only comming from the other parent

Olympia2012 · 14/05/2012 19:26

Awfull!

I would move. Seriously

Methe · 14/05/2012 19:28

They are out to play unsupervised at 4?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 14/05/2012 19:30

Why are all the other neighbours friends with them if they are nightmare neighbours?

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 14/05/2012 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 14/05/2012 19:32

I am amazed the rest of the street like them - were they not bothered by the loud parties etc. Or are they intimidated by them rather than being friends.

I too would seriously consider moving.

Original poster

kirsty2008 · 14/05/2012 19:53

she is never unsupervised. We are always walking behind her or standing watching at a close enough distance. In this case, they were playing in a neighbours front garden. DH was on his mobile in our front garden and could see (but not hear) them. DD came running up crying to him.

supervision is another issue. The other kids are 3/4/5 years old. All out with no supervision. Still out at 9pm. Have had them knocking on the door around that time. Causes upset with DD when I say its far too late for her to be out playing.

I want to move, but can't afford to just yet, we're still paying debts off. In about 3 years we could hopefully afford to...but until then...:(

The street isn't good as the neighbours, their parents and sister all live in this street so they are friends with everyone else. They've been here longer than we have and therefore its made to look as though we have the problem.

When DD plays with other kids, their parents look on disapprovingly, not just the neighbours I have grief with.

Its truly AWFUL. I want to cry myself for my poor DD. She just wants to play and if I keep her indoors or in our back garden she doesn't understand why. I've tried explaining but she still gets upset.

OP posts:

candytuft63 · 14/05/2012 19:53

IME people side with nightmare neighbours because they are frightened of getting the same treatment if they don't.

Original poster

kirsty2008 · 14/05/2012 19:54

should also add its a small cul de sac, not a busy road but we are still always outside watching.

OP posts:

Original poster

kirsty2008 · 14/05/2012 19:56

we asked another neighbour who witnessed the abuse we were having to back us up to the police and she refused so yes, maybe there's an element of fear, or maybe its the regular invites to the drink/bbq parties they have all the time....

Apparently these neighbours moved from their former street due to complaints about them!

OP posts:

Hippomaniac · 14/05/2012 20:04

OP I could have written your post a few years ago. The police refused to help us without third party witnesses. There were plenty of neighbours who had seen what was happening but refused to speak to the police in case the neighbours turned on them too. The only way we got out of the situation was to move.

Original poster

kirsty2008 · 14/05/2012 20:07

Hippo, did it affect your kids?

Its such a stressful horrible situation.

OP posts:

Olympia2012 · 14/05/2012 20:08

So they are in HA/council property?

Hippomaniac · 14/05/2012 20:17

Yes it affected my kids. DS1 was 4 at the time and the neighbours took great delight in getting their kids to throw stones and sticks at him when he played in the back garden. What was even worse was the parents throwing stones at DS1's window at night. He was too frightened to go to sleep for weeks

Hippomaniac · 14/05/2012 20:19

Meant to say "worse" in the sense that that it was the parents doing it not the children.

Original poster

kirsty2008 · 14/05/2012 20:34

oh that's terrible. I do sympathise.

Olympia, no, we all own our homes, although they were in a council estate before (but some of these have been bought so I dont know if they were tenants)

OP posts:

maddening · 14/05/2012 20:39

could you rent your house out and rent yourself elsewhere?

GeekLove · 14/05/2012 21:18

Are you logging each incident? You will bed to keep a diary. Each time contact the police each time there is an incident especially if children are involved. You will have to be persistant unfortunately.
Could you consider getting a webcam to film your property. Others may correct me but providing you are only filming your own property then it is legal.
There is also the route of contacting your local coucillors and MP if the police and SS cannot (or will not act).
I'm sorry about this but you must be persistant. I have had friends who have had this and they have all ended up moving. I know that this can grind you down but you will have to be he squeaky wheel to get things to happen. Good luck to you and have a not very mumsnetty hug.

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