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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be put off this date despite generally having a good time?

27 replies

Jodpur · 14/05/2012 19:05

Could be nerves?

But anyway online dating. Met this guy outside Nandos like arranged. He was nice, respectful, opened the door for me, insisted on paying etc. All good but during the meal I noticed he had a tendancy to say something funny and then stare at me whilst laughing really loudly in an almost repetative tone! it seemed as though he was trying to get me to laugh as long as possible. It started getting awkard when I stopped laughing and he continued staring at me and laughing I felt almost pressured into laughing a bit longer! all very wierd, bit hard to explain. Anyway apart from that the actual meal was fine. We leave there and he offers me a lift home but says he will understand if I didn't want to do that. I decline but thank him anyway so he says he'll walk to the taxi stand with me. As we're passing a cash machine he says he needs to use it. He puts in his card and then ammusingly the machine spits it back out, sucks it back in and then spits it out again - all the while this guy is frantically trying to catch it before he loses it. I laugh and he laughs with me and makes a joke about the machine winding him up on purpose for a laugh. When he eventually gets his card out he shouts "Ha, got ya, ya bastard!" and starts thrusting quite sexually at the machine. People were looking at us. Innapropriate in public/for first date right??

But these two things are the ONLY things he did "wrong". The rest of the night was good. AIBU to let that put me off him? Should I put it down to nerves (although he seemed more confident than nervous) and give him another chance?

Name changer, previously on the online dating thread in relationships but didn't want this dragging on to there.

OP posts:
Ambrosius · 14/05/2012 19:08

Sounds like a fucking weirdo IMO. Thrusting at a cash machine is very strange behaviour!

mirry2 · 14/05/2012 19:10

Maybe he was nervous?

Lovetats · 14/05/2012 19:14

Go with your gut instinct. If you thought he was weird, he probably was which would have been enough to out me off. He's supposed to be on his best behaviour for the first few dates, at the very least.

BanalChelping · 14/05/2012 19:16

Run like the wind. He sounds like a maniac and I worry what he dos in private if he thinks that this odd behaviour is acceptable in public.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/05/2012 19:19

DH says - "sounds like he was very nervous and desperately trying to be funny - give him a couple of dates and he might calm down - if not, bin him"

Me - "get rid, he's a freakshow, who can be arsed"

Explanation - dh has never had a girlfriend before me because he's a bit of a loser. Me, I'm dead fussy Grin

BumpingFuglies · 14/05/2012 19:20

Definitely no. I was married to a man like that. (Note past tense)

Sorry x

TheFlyingFishFinger · 14/05/2012 19:21

Thrusting at the cash machine? Oh how I wish you had filmed that!

I'd put it down to nerves tbh.

What's your gut instinct telling you?

fluffiphlox · 14/05/2012 19:21

Sounds weird. (And I'm not sure about Nando's if he was wanting to impress.)

sensuallettuce · 14/05/2012 19:22

Aw give him another chance - I went on an Internet date 2 yrs ago with a guy I was really unsure about - he was really keen and even though it was a 100 mile round trip he came back the next day and took me out for lunch and he was less weird and more relaxed and I fell for him.

Last week he asked me to marry him and I said yes Grin

WorraLiberty · 14/05/2012 19:24

Was he Ricky Gervais by any chance?

Shutupanddrive · 14/05/2012 19:25

Omg no way! Sound weird. Trust your instincts on this one Hmm

DPrince · 14/05/2012 19:28

I am sat in the doctors laughing. Everyone is looking at me like I am a weirdo. :) sorry I couldn't go out with him again. He sounds barking

Heyyyho · 14/05/2012 19:29

Grin what a joker

QuintessentialShadows · 14/05/2012 19:30

I would not want to be on a date with a lot of laughing involved. That would freak me out. What happened to conversation? Must everything be so funny?

I would not see him again.

SwedishEdith · 14/05/2012 19:30

The staring when laughing would put me off more than the cash machine thrusting tbh. I'd have already decided I felt very uncomfortable before it got to that stage.

Bumblefeck · 14/05/2012 19:32

Thrusting at a cash machine? WATF?

Did he drop hints about being overly attached to other public convienences?

PurplePidjin · 14/05/2012 19:32

Putting it politely, it sounds like you appreciate types of humor...

Bagofholly · 14/05/2012 19:36

Snog him. Then decide.

If we all went on the basis of first dates no ones relationship would ever develop! He sounds desperately nervous, the poor bugger!

BelleDameSansMerci · 14/05/2012 19:38

PurpleP Grin -how diplomatic!

TheFarSide · 14/05/2012 19:45

I used to work with a man who cracked a joke and watched closely to "assess" your reaction while you were both still laughing. We used to speculate that he lacked confidence and was nervous about upsetting other people.

Thrusting at a cash machine sounds like something you might do if you were out with the lads.

Anyway, I would give him one more chance.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 14/05/2012 19:55

Thrusting? At a cash machine? Eh?!

But really... Do give him another chance! Everyone deserves that, don't they?!

parno · 14/05/2012 19:57

Sorry jodpur I have no real advice to give but you have made me laugh out loud (with genuine amusement as opposed to head shaking bemusement which is my normal reaction to posts on MN) just the thought of the laughing/staring thing keeps making me snort.

FWIW I'd give him another go if only for an update.

OnlineDatingQueen · 14/05/2012 20:40

I am getting so much mileage out of this thread about winning at online dating which is just as well really as it was an epic length post.

I tend to go with my gut about these things as I found that with DH there was that immediate ease and no bizarre behaviour on our first date... BUT ... this may come under 'don't sweat the silly stuff' like mad clothing. It MAY be that he was just desperate to impress. If you had a good time otherwise might be worth giving him one more chance.

And lots of guys have problems with women seeing them have any money problems. He might have been terrified thinking, "Oh no! She thinks I'm some loser and the ATM is spitting my card back at me!!!" He may also have gone home and hung his head in shame, reliving the horrifying moment he pretended to shag a cashpoint.

Thanks for making me snort with laughter OP :o

Glitterkitten24 · 14/05/2012 20:44

Ha I just spat out my tea at the mental picture of him thrusting at the cash machine.

Bin him, life is too short to go on bad dates. And the fact that you even asked for opinions on here means you are already not sure abut him!

OnlineDatingQueen · 14/05/2012 20:49

I'm still laughing at this :o :o :o