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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to be looked after?

14 replies

StrawbRhi · 14/05/2012 12:11

DD (17mo) appears to have hit the terrible twos a bit early and is teething.

DP (32, going on 3) has been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue syndrome, sleep apnea and depression. Has been mooching around the house being a moody, miserable, sleepy bugger for 6 weeks now. I know its a real condition, I know hes not faking but because he has a history of hamming things up to get out of doing something there is a little voice in the back of my head screaming at him to man the fuck up.

His parents think hes faking everything and are on my case accusing me of 'letting him get away with it'. I dont have any family nearby.

We're getting married in 6 weeks. All the paper work is screwed up, my passport is damaged, I need to lose a stone to fit in my dress, the wedding is held 72 miles away and I don't drive.

My driving test is in 4 weeks but my instructor can now only work weekends.

I have laryngitis and a chest infection. Its hard to be the voice of authority when you don't actually have a voice, so DD is playing up to the best of her abilities.

Id just like a day or two to concentrate on getting myself better. Id also quite like a bit of sympathy and attention for myself although I know it to be selfish Would it be unreasonable to;

A) lock myself in the shed with 4 boxes of Krispy Kreme and an endless supply of coffee
B) Lock him in the shed, duct tape her to the wall and watch True Movies all day
C) Ask my Mum to take some leave and travel from the South West to the South East to take care of me, make me bacon sandwiches and pile me with sympathy?

OP posts:
NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 14/05/2012 12:16

Ask your OH if he feels up to taking DD out for the day while you get better. If not then call your mum!

StrawbRhi · 14/05/2012 12:19

He tried that NiceCupOfTea but it exhausted him so much he was laid up in bed for the next 4 days!

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 14/05/2012 12:22

I'd call your mam. Sometimes, no matter how old and independent we are, we just need our mams.
Even a couple of days, just so you can rest and get over the laryngitis, and the chest infection a bit, would help. Once you feel better you'll feel able to deal with everything else.

MiseryBusiness · 14/05/2012 12:29

I agree with PomBear - call your Mum.

If you can have a few days off to get better you'll be able to deal with everything else.

QuintessentialShadows · 14/05/2012 12:32

Can you call off the wedding? Or postpone it?

I dont see how you can manage to do all that in such a short space of time.

Sorry. Not helpful. Sad

Mama1980 · 14/05/2012 12:34

Call your mum, no matter how old you are sometimes when it's all going to hell you just need your mum.

StrawbRhi · 14/05/2012 12:42

Nah, Misery its all paid for and pretty much done now. Its just the paperwork left to go, seems a bit daft to put in all this hard work and money to just cancel!

Have called my Mum. She doesnt drive so will need to take a bus, then 2 trains and we'll collect her from the station. I feel pretty guilty, I havent asked her for any help since I moved here in 2010.

Dp just brought lunch home after visiting the docs so at least Im fed now :)

OP posts:
MrsHelsBels74 · 14/05/2012 12:46

Glad you've called your mum. My mum comes over from France to help out if I really need her. To be honest I think mums love to be asked to help out!

StrawbRhi · 14/05/2012 12:48

She did seem particularly eager to come, HelsBels... suspiciously eager... I think she could use some time away from her husband!

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 14/05/2012 12:48

Are your DP's sleep apnoea and depression being treated? Hopefully he will improve once the treatments for those begin to take effect.

Meantime, you need to prioritise and your health is top concern. Once you feel well you will be better able to get on top of things and make good decisions, including whether to hold off on driving test, wedding, paperwork - or finding alternative means of doing things.

Could your PILs help out with some childcare if they are local? A few days putting yourself first are needed. If PILs can't help and local friends not available, then I'd be asking my mum if she could help.

doormat · 14/05/2012 12:49

i would duct tape him to the shed wall and let him watch true movies all day Grin ..sorry not helpful but i hate it when men get under my feet...nothing worse imo

HellonHeels · 14/05/2012 12:50

Cross post! Glad your mum is coming. Let DP look after himself for a few days, concentrate on yourself. Hope you feel better soon.

Thumbwitch · 14/05/2012 12:53

I'd send your DP back to his parents - they can deal with him for a bit and leave you to deal with your DD. Or, send her as well. Or, send him AND get your mum to come over and she can look after you AND DD.

Any of these sound feasible?

HellonHeels · 14/05/2012 12:56

Also, as for paperwork, can't DP do that? I know he's on the sick list but could he could do a bit at a time? (Not sure how feasible that is with chronic fatigue, so apologies if that's a stupid suggestion).

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