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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to take my almost 6 month old baby to any groups?

28 replies

peanutbutter38 · 14/05/2012 11:48

Am I an antisocial old moo? I've recently decided that I'm returning to stay at home mumdom, so going out and socialising with new people must figure somewhere on my 'to do list', just not sure if I can really be bothered or simon up the strength to put myself out there and deal with the toddler group cliques once again.
I've got other local friends (Mums of my eldest two girls) and this being my third and final baby, I should just get on with it like the old pro I'm supposed to be. And at some point I'll have to join a few for the sake of my gorgeous baby girl, won't I? say it's not true say it's not true

OP posts:
ornellaia · 14/05/2012 11:51

YANBU I didn't go to any baby groups, I don't think it's compulsory Wink. I made friends with other mums according to my own interests and made arrangements with them to meet up for a play & coffee.

GinPalace · 14/05/2012 11:52

I think there are only three reasons to attend the groups.

  1. You need friends and company of people in same boat - doesn't sound like you do.
  2. Your DD needs friends her own age - well not at 6 months she doesn't and sounds like she will have those from your existing circle anyway.
  3. It's something different to do and passes the time - but sounds like you will have plenty of variety anyway, so not worth it if the cons outweigh pro's.

The clique thing can vary lots though. You may get lucky and find some nice non-cliquey people.

I wouldn't go if I didn't fancy it though - it's not supposed to be a chore. :)

LolaThePregnantFlyola · 14/05/2012 11:53

Just go, babies enjoy it and once you get back you'll feel better for it.

i have never noticed cliques at play groups, only ever on here or from sil.

[oblivious to world]

WorraLiberty · 14/05/2012 11:53

YANBU

I never took any of mine to groups...just the thought made me want to pull my eyeballs our through my arse.

But then again, I'm really not that keen on other people's kids Grin

Just do what suits you and yours.

Aboutlastnight · 14/05/2012 11:54

By the time my third came I either talked to mums I knew already at toddler group or read the paper Blush

And I didn't take DD3 to any groups until she was walking and keen to socialise.

Mrsjay · 14/05/2012 11:54

You dont have to if your dont want to , i didnt take my children to baby groups ay 6 months i didnt feel they needed to socialise at 6 months you really dont need to , I took mine when they were older 18ish months to toddler and playgroups and singing groups sigh and story sessions , when they got more out of it , they are now a grown up and a teen and it didnt affect development or able to socialise because i didnt go out every day , Dont dismiss them though keep an open mind but you dont need to go

smalltown · 14/05/2012 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BaronessBomburst · 14/05/2012 12:04

Well I never did. I live abroad and baby/toddler groups don't even exist here, or in much of the rest of Europe from what I gather on the ex-pat threads. We've all survived.

SIL even once told me that she was surprised to see that DS had learnt his colours and could count to ten, and so wasn't being held back after all. She seemed genuinely shocked that a child could achieve these milestones without baby dance, baby massage, tumble tots etc. I was speechless, although that was mainly trying not to laugh. I'd just seen the Bo-jangles DVD and it was my idea of hell. Grin

Original poster
peanutbutter38 · 14/05/2012 12:27

thank you for giving me permission not to go, lol!

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 14/05/2012 12:29

children learning from parents shocker baroness who knew Grin

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 14/05/2012 12:31

I took my pfb to a playgroup once. That was the sum total of my "getting out and meeting people" for all five of my DCs Grin

Original poster
peanutbutter38 · 14/05/2012 12:32

what put you off Pom, lol?

OP posts:
bobbledunk · 14/05/2012 12:39

yanbu, a room full of other peoples babies accompanied by parents with nothing better to do like my idea of hell. There are plenty of ways to socialise and entertain a baby without torturing yourself.

lisakell · 14/05/2012 12:52

Love this thread - I've tried, I really have but...
are people honestly interested in the bowel movements of other peoples babies? Do mums talk about anything at all other than their precious little ones? I don't really care about TV but would cheer if someone started talking about Eastenders, or a book they had read, or anything other than babies. I adore my ds but I feel like shouting "I am a person, not just ds' mum"! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's not keen - I feel like I now have permission to skip class!

GinPalace · 14/05/2012 12:55

The frustrating thing for me is that I feel same as OP and many here - which means that many of the cool mums who do want to talk about something other than poo their children, are all staying away doing fun things elsewhere so I don't get to meet them. Angry

fortifiedwithtea · 14/05/2012 13:17

It's not just the too strong/gnats pee tea, dusty floor, poo talk, stealth boasting. It's so much more. The baby toys that are chewed and dribbled on and never washed and the minefield of what to do when one toddler takes a toy from another or hits.

Can't think why you wouldn't want to go Grin.

bleedingheart · 14/05/2012 13:22

I'm incredibly shy so it takes me so much to go to these things and then I find small children gravitate towards me and I end up playing with them while the mummy clique discuss their PFBs grasp of English and exotic diets. My DS doesn't seem to enjoy them either so I don't bother very often!

Noqontrol · 14/05/2012 13:25

It's not true op. you have permission not to go. I didn't with my second and it hasn't done anyone any life long harm Smile

PeelingmyselfofftheCeiling · 14/05/2012 13:30

Bleeding, no need to be shy, you must be lovely and approachable if the little ones make a bee line for you. Excellent judges of character are small children.

no bugger talks to me at these things, old or young

kelly2525 · 14/05/2012 13:34

Playgoups are my idea of hell, I don't want ''mummy friends'' I don't want to have to coo over their offspring when we all know that actually my child is more advanced and much better looking Grin

So i don't go, I make his grandma take him instead Wink

porcamiseria · 14/05/2012 13:51

i deliberately take holidays on non-playgroup days, I hate it.

so yanbu

porcamiseria · 14/05/2012 13:51

swimming could be a fun half way solution for a 6mo?

mumnosbest · 14/05/2012 13:56

YANBU. Im on DC3 and don't intend on going. I already know what I need to know, have lots of other mummy friends and know all the best days out. I also have my hands ful with the older DCs after school, dancing and sports etc, so actually enjoy stopping in and doing nothing while they are at school :)

Herrena · 14/05/2012 13:58

I actually love baby groups Blush

I think it's mostly because I rattle on about anything I find interesting and that can range from nappies to what I read in New Scientist. Mums who only want to discuss babies give me a weird look whilst those who are desperate to NOT discuss babies usually bite my hand off and start jabbering like crazy!

I've never noticed cliques but then I may be like Lola and oblivious to them.... I do make a point of moving around the room and trying to talk to anyone new though, not just my usual circle :)

Having said all that, it's not mandatory!!

RickGhastley · 14/05/2012 13:59

YANBU

I'm not taking DS2 (4m) to any groups till he's old enough to like them.

Did all that shit from birth with DS1 and would rather chill out at home or with friends quite frankly.