Fed up to eye teeth with "this private school is better than that private school or state scector" - it doesn't all add up if a seemingly bright child can't get into the school they want...

[notavoicelikeShirleyBasseys]

At 7+, we still looking for a new indie to move to, tried all the usual suspects,; they are either oversubscribed or have no spaces left. DD actually got as far as 2nd round at a top South London hothouse indie, then got knocked back. The truth is, even if you can afford to pay there is still no guarantee of a place, just like in the state sector. Some independent schools are are just not living up to the expectation of being "the way out" for parents who can't get their DCs into a decent state school near their homes, are they?

Only one "are"

I don't understand the 'BU' part of your post? Are any independent schools advertising 'we are the guaranteed way out of the state system'?
I would think that there is ALWAYS a fee paying place somewhere for your child, just might not be the closest / your preferred one. Of course no one school is promising to take all applicants.

Isn't that the whole point of a selective school, though - the fact that not everyone can get in.

There are non-selective independent schools, are there not? Wouldn't these be an alternative?

Or move to a better catchment area and send dd to a state school instead?

Tbh, there are many more choices if you have money than there are if you don't. No, money alone won't buy you admission to the most competitive selective schools, but I don't think anyone would expect this, would they?

Would you want your child to go to a school that wasn't desirable, fee-paying or not?

Of course there'll be stiff competition to get into any decent school...

missing the point? this is the real world and selective schooling is just that, they will select the best children, plenty of people can pay, private health care is the same, the healthier you are the better service you will get, something expensive and long term, you find your insurence cancelled, it is called the free market economy.
on the plus side I failed my 11+ don't have a degree and manage a dept of 10 appart, from 1 person I am the only one who didn't go to grammar or private school, appart from another 4 I don't have a degree, we are all roughly the same age, late 30's to mid 40's I am not the eldest by a long chalk, the 2 late 20's are both private school.
what stand out for me is that it isn't your education which set you appart, unless you go to Eton, Harrow, is what you do after.
so the only other no grammar/private is a doctor, my Admin was grammar school, other doctor private school, fitness advisors all grammar/private school, mostly private..bet their parents are not happy.
I have 2, 7 year olds at christmas I was being told to forget the 11+ but in 3 months they have caught up and are know beyond there expected, but I will be checking the schools all around for the best fit for my boys, 1 I think will find a grammar better as he is very academically driven, he just likes to learn and is very analytical (not sure I can even spell that :) ) the other is dyslexic like me but unlike me very artsy, and technically clever, I still can't get my head round his lego model where he puts in a lego man at the top of a building, and he hit the elelator with his hand it gos down, and out pops batman??
I get how it works, now I have had a look, what I can't get is how he came up with it?

Send them to normal state school.

...Sigh...wish we had more money and more connections to add to DD's level of intellect (if it can be called that at this age)...sigh....then just maybe, eh?

I do however disagree with you 'missingmum' - in a sense - the obvious choices after private school are usually the traditional professions, but I would not be unhappy if DD chose something regarded as not so high-earning or fancy like medicine or law. I speak for myself in that DD is being schooled privately to provide more choices as a teenager/young adult, due to the kind of exposure private education brings..but hey..she's been saying she wants to be a tram driver, is veeery keen on this, and good luck to her.

'Krumbum' - if only. Moved across three boroughs to get a 'decent' state school, but nada. Then went private in the new area; wondered why we'd never thought of it before moving, and now want to move back to where we started from, because my job is closer to our old home, but not been successful getting a selective indie place where we want. Maybe we might have got a place three years ago if the thought had crossed our minds to go private then...who knows?

'Cabrinha' - 'BU' part of my post? - sorry, long day...

When you say that she was " knocked back" what do you mean? Did she not pass the assessment or did the space get taken by someone else?

Usually the indie sector is pretty good at coping with supply and demand, but obviously very selective schools can choose their pupils, rather than the other way round. 7+ isn't the common transfer point, and there are relatively few places (in comparison with either 4+ or 11+). Sometimes there are just peak years, and it is tough if you want a space after reception.

Define "decent state school".

This thread makes no sense to me at all.

YABU for using the term "indie"....bleurgh.

Send your child to a boarding school far far away if the local posh joints are oversubscribed.

It is an awkward age to get a place... my 8 yo didn't get a place, her 6 yo brother did, because he was joining the first class so there were 40 spaces, whereas 3rd grade already haft a waiting list.

I think it is more to do with academic ability than finances and connections though, since we made it very clear we would need almost a free ride for our kids to attend. They had every opportunity to reject us and chose not to. My daughter who we thoughti would be guaranteed a place actually did less well in her interviews and exams, so only made the waiting list, but it was nothing to do with money.

Please excuse typos... My phone hates me.

I'm actually pretty fed up about all the threads relating to schools... I don't care how you choose to school your child. I don't mean it in a rude way - just that it's your choice and doesn't/ shouldn't affect me in the slightest.

Ditto for how people choose to feed their children. Can't get my knickers in a twist over that either.

'Top hothouse indie'

Sorry but i'm laughing too much to even consider your question.

Maybe in south London. But in Surrey it's not that hard.

Also you can always get into these schools by applying early enough (which in London cases, it might be a long time before).

To get into a state school you need to apply early enough, AND live in the right area.

I think it's probably only you that has the expectation of a selective school of being a way out of anything. You need to go for a private school that isn't selective at such a young age.

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea that some schools should be academically selective, or that they should be academically selective at 7+, and/or that one has to pay for their child to be taught, or whatever. Outraged, you're wrong to think I am suggesting a private education will "buy out" - what I meant was that some parents, certainly in our case, consider the private sector when they do not get a space in the state sector for whatever reason. I was just thinking that lately private schools have become a challenge to secure a place at, particularly the ones featuring on the top end of league tables. Of course state schools are no different, but that's exactly the point - if you were prepared to pay you would expect not to have such a hard time of it. A sign of the times, I guess.

To 'anothersplaceisin', well, the definition of a "decent state school" for one, to me, is one with an excellent/good Ofsted report for learning, good attendance records and high levels of pastoral care, and with a reputation among its parents and observers alike (and pupils) for being that type of school! DD could not get into any like that at 4+, hence we went private. We are just considering a move within the private sector for job relocation purposes, but that has been quite a challenge, hence my OP. What is your definition?

Thanks, 'Ladymuck', I credit DD with getting through two rounds of tests but apparently it was fiercely competitive.

'Hermione' - what I meant by "top hothouse indie" as this appears to have roused your mirth, is simply a private school with an excellent reputation for learning. Hahaha.

Your posts make absolutely no sense.

There have always been private schools which are academically and financially selective (they are the sought after ones) and private schools which are only financially selective (they are the ones that always have places if you can stump up the cash).

YABU to have only just realised this. Twas always thus.

Did you really think that becausenyou are loaded yout DC could just waltz into a 'top hothouse indie' without passing an exam? Did you not realise that schools at the top of league tables are there not because of superior teaching or because of rich families? They are at the top of the league tables because they cream off the top academic performers from the very beginning.

'Greythorne', oh, but we're not loaded at all. Seems like you waded in to the part where it is easy to misunderstand. I am not going to go on the defensive - I'm happy to leave it where it is - some of the input has been interesting.

Anyhow I found another post where although the OP had a place, other MNetters' views have been helpful to cast my thoughts into some perspective -

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/a1296984-Bute-House-Kensington-Prep-or-Latymer-Junior-any-experiences-you-would-care-to-share-please

We are barely walking into a school place at the mo, let alone doing a waltz iyswIm, though I know you meant it metaphorically.