My mum died when I was a little girl, and my dad coped very badly. He took early retirement when I was just twelve (he was 40 when I was born) and moved in with another woman. I of course didn't realise at the time but she was extremely manipulative and really quite unkind. She drove something of a wedge between my dad and I, by telling him lies about me - I of course would get defensive and upset when defending myself and then got painted as a teenager with a bad temper/attitude problem which was really unfair, as I wasn't! (I was the quietest, least-trouble teenager on the planet, honestly!)
It was quite a gradual decline however and I haven't got time to document it all here but it went from little things such as claiming I'd left rubbish around for her to clean when I hadn't to when I went away to university, they moved into a two bedroomed apartment. I went to stay there the first Christmas, but I was keeping a diary at the time which she read, and I had ranted somewhat in it about how unkind she was being (and she really was.) After this, I was told I was not welcome in the apartment. I didn't know at the time, but my dad's old friends had all been deemed unsuitable, he couldn't visit his sister or any of my mother's family either. It sounds mean but I got used to life without him.
A few years ago he broke things off with this girlfriend, bought a new house and got a new relationship although he didn't move in with her and nor did she with him as he said he would never do that again, until he met yet another woman who he has been with for 10 months now.
Unfortunately, history is repeating itself. He's moved in with her. If I ring the landline, he practically hangs up on me and almost seems nervous if I ring. I've stopped calling. If he visits me, it's only around 30 minutes before he starts fretting and practically runs back to his new g/f. I've noticed she rings after about 30 minutes as well and I have pointed out a little snippily to be fair that I can't see how a healthy adult relationship means they can't be away from one another for longer than this period!
He does really care about her and perhaps I should just accept that I've lost him again, but to lose someone, get them back and lose them again is worse than just losing them and it's breaking my heart :(
A part of me feels really sorry for him as he must be desperately lonely to accept this sort of treatment but another part feels really angry at the way he let me be lonely and suffer when I was very young and I can't understand why he won't learn from his mistakes.