Too push to push!!!

[Lovemychocolate]

Went to baby clinic a few weeks ago, to find a group of mums loudly ranting and laughing about mums who were too posh to push. They were saying that those that had cs weren't proper mums. I have had two cs ... One emergency that was due to foetal distress and in fact my baby had to be resuscitated. My second was due to low lying placenta. Both medically necessary and both unwanted.

One of the mums was bottlefeeding her LO by having a bottle propped up in the pram (have no opinion on ff but not sure propping up is not a good idea). I bf both of mine and would never dream of mentioning what I view as a personal choice.People condemn the 'breastapo' rightly or wrongly but no one seems to think how you give birth should be your own business

Aibu to think that being a mum is hard enough without people castigating others for decisions which are frankly no one else's business and may be hurtful to others. Surely mums should stick together

i would have said a "virginal" birth is def not natural mchappypants!

I suppose it makes them feel that they have done at least one thing 'right' in their pathetic lives, what losers, imagine not needing emergency surgery being your only life achievement Hopefully it will all go wrong for them next time round....

Cant stand peoples opinions on CS not being 'natural' bla bla.
Whats natural about having your legs in stirrups, your fanjo on display & a huge ventouse sucker type creation pulling your baby out all whilst a doppler is attached to babys head-that was me with with my 3rd child and i found it very medical indeed.
I had all mine vaginally but each time i would have had a cs if id been allowed one, my pelvic floor is now crap and my births hurt like hell, not to mention afterpains after my fourth....ouch!!
It doesn't matter what way we birth were all mums

you caught half a conversation that was probably about celebs who decide to have one without any medical reason.

calm down

Why are we now comparing csections to bf and ff? Sounds like you are all judgey to me but just wouldn't voice it

to all!

Hopefully things are begining to change.I posted on the pregnancy forum yesterday that DD had seen her consultant and obstetric nurse re.planned C.section in July.She had ECS 3 years ago.After reading some women's horror stories about unsympathetic doctors,midwives etc,she was not looking forward to this meeting.However she was treated with the kindness and respect that all expectant mum's deserve.and was booked in with no fuss and we expect DGD on July 16th.

Some people can only derive happiness, from being "better than other people". They will hence latch on to anything. Vaginal childbirth, caesareans, fecking brand of formula (seriously), breastmilk, et cetera.

They're nasty little hats, eh? If they had been breastfeeding, and you'd been formula feeding, they'd have judged you about that, too!

In Victorian times 1 in 10 women died in childbirth. Your DCs are alive and have a mother. They should take their judgy pants off.

Oh dear. Some people need educating in the difference between tabloid bollocks and medical need, including mental health.

They are grossly ignorant and need to be told so.

The physical reasons for an EMCS or advised ELCS are obvious.

As for ELCS on maternal request. There is no evidence what so ever that any one is too posh to push. Not helped by the fact that the way ELCS are recorded in inadequate despite a government report in 2003 pointing this out and recommending it being changed so we could study the subject and gather evidence.

Indeed evidence that has been found in Sweden and other Nordic countries has actually found that those women who do request an ELCS are significantly more likely to do so, not because they are posh, but because they are terrified and are statistically significantly more likely to suffer from mental health issues, previous birth trauma, have suffered sexual abuse or rape, have undergone fertility treatment or had miscarriages in the past (amongst other reasons). In short, they are more liking to fall into the category of being more vulnerable and in more need of support than the general population.

Idiots like this, need to be challenged and shown up for what they are. Pathetic, ignorant braggers who know nothing and are actually harming others who need support.

They're just stupid.

I had two vaginal births. Everyone else in my family going back to aunts etc have had c secs so I'm a bit of a novelty! But my cousin (2 c secs) is still running round after her little buggers the same as I am. Mine are no better behaved, well actually they are!, no healthier, no more intelligent etc than hers. Everyone spent the same 9 months growing them, who cares how they got out. That's the least of it.

Ignore!

Bright side: you now no longer need to to waste your time talking to those women, in order to find out if they're prats or friend material!

I always think everyone should do whatever is best for them and their baby, considering their circumstances.
Not whatever is best, in order to lord it over Kimberley Jones in number 44.

Yanbu, every birth is a 'proper' birth . I had DS naturally, but had an epidural, there was a woman next to me in the maternity ward after we had our babies who had a cs and was still in a lot of pain. I felt like she'd done it more 'properly' than me because I was in less pain. After my hormones calmed down and I wasn't as sleep deprived I realised I was being silly!

(Laughs at "virginal birth")... :)

I don't understand why people are so judgy about c sections. It seems to be some sort of competition as well - "oh I had 45908495 hours of labour but I still managed to push the baby out of my fanjo"... Well, well done you, here's your medal. Not all of us can or want to do it that way. Who cares?? Your baby doesn't pop out with a "best mother" fanfare if you give birth "naturally".

I had a very traumatic birth with dd 8 years ago. Won't bore you with all the details but essentially 70 hours "established" labour, epidural that didn't work except to paralyse me for 48 hours, ventouse delivery and episiotomy that cut through my bum grapes and left me with massive keloid scarring... Was in hospital for 5 days and couldn't walk properly for months.

I am now 35 weeks pregnant with a ds and I have fought the consultant for an elective c section, which is now booked for 4 weeks time.

The whole thing has been a fight - I've had the consultant and every midwife I've seen banging on about how a vaginal birth would be better (ermmm maybe a straightforward one, but mine wasn't and no one can guarantee another one would be!), all the risks associated with c sections (yes I realise there are risks but there are risks with everything, and no doubt if I HAD to have a csection for medical reasons they would be persuading me to have one!) blah blah.

I've even had the consultant saying to me "go into labour naturally and then have a word with the anaesthetist when you get to hospital and have an early epidural"... well if they're anything like last time I will have to wait 4 hours before requesting one and getting one and then I might just have the same reaction again anyway - stupid man.

So here I am, 4 weeks away from my elcs. And it's been interesting because people DO have a strange attitude towards it... (In my area and experience anyways). People start talking to me in shops and in my customer service job and when they start saying "not long now" and all that and I say I'm having a c section they seem almost sorry for me! And then I say "oh that's what I wanted" they're horrified and almost just stop talking to me! It's crazy!

Even my family members have been odd with me about it - only yesterday one of them kept saying "well hopefully you might go into labour before then" - what?? That would be the worst possible scenario for me!! I will cross my legs until this baby appears via the sunroof thank you!

Does it REALLY matter in 2012 how someone gives birth as long as the baby and mum are safe and well looked after?? I just don't understand the snobbery.

I nearly died, and DD nearly died, in my misguided attempt to give birth 'naturally' thanks to the wonders of medical science. A second attempt will see me climbing the walls in fear, no doubt followed by sedation and an emcs. So yes, I am far too posh to push, and you know what? I'm proud. I also BF my daughter, my choice.

You don't need these people, seriously. ignore, be proud and enjoy your baby.

Yes it's already been said but by and large CS are for medial reasons, either because there is a physical issue or because the distress to th mother would be terrible from attempting a vb.

CS is statistically safer, I believe, than forceps and ventouse deliveries.

No one would choose lightly to have their stomach muscles sliced open!

I had one vb and one CS, because dd2 was coming foot first at 1 in the morning and to try to deliver her like that could have left her terribly damaged and never able to walk properly with an inexperienced medical team in attendance.

She is perfect;would I have risked it being otherwise to do it "properly"? Would I hell!

And if people choose to do it by CS because they are less scared and more in control, then so be it.

People who talk about 'doing it properly' are just fucking arses stupid. Ignore ignore ignore.

But on a wider stage it's very disturbing that one in three babies is now being born by c/s in some UK hospitals. And that the ventouse and forceps rates at these hospitals is no lower than at other hospitals with massively fewer c/s. I don't think it's right that in an attempt to reassure each other that all birth modes are valid and that women shouldn't be judged, we dismiss the fall in normal birth rates as something that doesn't matter. At a population level it does matter.

My second two sections were 'elective' but that was because I choose to have a live baby at the end rather than risk the baby getting stuck due to a big head. After I had ds2 a neighbour stood talking to myself and dh and said that her and her dh might have another baby but that of course (now speaking directly to dh) I will have mine naturally, no pain relief ect, as after all they got there naturally didn't they so it is only right they come out the same way. Dh very quickly changed the subject before I could say anything.

I occasionally have judgy looks from people when they hear my DD2 was ELCs. I should just ignore but occasionally I just say 'Better that than doubly incontinent at 28'. That shuts them up. I got the guilts so much after DD1 (forceps, had to stop bf at 8wks) that I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks anymore .

When leaving your car, if you exit through the door or climb through the sunroof, the result is still the same. Please don't let other's opinion bother you.

Glad I made people laugh over a spelling mistake :)

OP you really shouldn't care about what others think. If they have a problem then it's their problem, not yours!

YANBU.

Most CS are done for very good medical reasons, not because of any too posh to push nonsense. Anyone with sense will understand that.

Try to ignore these stupid people.

I think this is because obviously having a baby is a very stressful
And difficult thing to do. And so ppl feel worried that they're own mothering skills are not up to par which is natural as you have a tiny little person relying on you for everything! A way to deal with that is criticising other mothers so you seem like your doing it right. It must build esteem in the short term but damages everyone in the long term. There is so much criticism of mothers and how 'well' they raise their kids while fathers are treated like gods. Very sad :(

I had an emcs under ga with ds3 due to cord prolapse at 31 weeks. He was resusitated and intubated which I missed due to being under ga. We are very lucky that he is still with us.

I have never felt so ill as i did after the cs and ds1 was born naturally weighing 11lb2 which was bloody painful. It's certainly not the easy option and resulted in complications when I was pg with ds4

Ignore them. I couldn't give a shit what people think. I have a lovely 14month old baby, that I would have lost if it wasn't for the cs.