To think that what this councellor said to me was shocking?

[toptramp]

I had councelling at University 5 years ago and the councellor who was a bit older than me told me that 'You are not very succesful on your own.' It still rankles. I should have reported it.

She is right btw but no need to be so blunt.

You should have reported someone for being honest during counselling?

Should they have lied?

Why should you have reported it?

I'm not sure what the problem is here tbh.

What context did she say it in?

I suppose she's right if you're talking in a strict sense of what she said, everyone needs other people to support them.

Why do you think it still gets your goat after all this time?

It doesn't matter what she thought she knew of you five years on, did you respect her view and anything hinting at criticism wouldn't have gone down well at the time?

So you feel she was right?

Did you tell her how you felt at the time?

It may have been a shock to you what she said but it wasn't 'shocking' as in bad behaviour.

So the councellor gave you a home truth and it pissed you off and you are still pissed over it 5 years later.
You do have issues by the sound of it.

Reporting that would have been ridiculous.

There could have been all sorts of valid reasons for her to say it. Maybe you were overly self sufficient?

I'm not very successful on my own either. heck it's not even offensive, just an honest truth you would expect to deal with in counselling.

And I agree with previous posters that still being bothered by this 5 years later is unhealthy. Maybe you do need some more counselling

Why is the counsellor's age relevant to your point?

I think it's impossible to judge what was said without context, as others have said. As a counsellor I don't think it's something I would have said (phrased like that anyway) but I'd be worried about someone still holding this issue several years down the line.

I'm a counsellor and there is nothing wrong with what she said to you. Her age has no relevance to this. Why would you have even thought of reporting this? Obviously we don't know the context but those words do not scream inappropriate.

As a counsellor I'd also be concerned that this is still a big issue years later.

Obviously I need more councelling then!

Do you feel able to say why you were seeing the counsellor five years ago toptramp?

Having had a look at your other posts, it would seem that seeking some further professional help might not be a bad idea.

Eh? Well maybe you aren't. Perhaps she felt you would benefit by looking at why that is and trying to change it. What did you want her to say?

If you just want someone to tell you that you are amazing and perfect and have no faults then I only charge £30 per hour for that. I can also tell you how much your haircut suits you and validate every choice you have ever made. Not sure if will do you much good but if that's what you want.........

Catgirl - sounds great, when can you start?

5 years ago?

Jaysus. Someone called me fatty four eyes when I was in Primary school. I'm still hunting them down - don't think I'll ever get over it!

Maybe they thought you needed to be told. That you you were never going to realise it yourself. I would imgains they thought if you acknowledged it you could work on it? Have you? I imagine not, otherwise you would be grateful and not still annoyed.

Chicken - have you lost weight? You are looking gorgeous today! So healthy - like you are glowing from the inside...........

You know, you Chicken are my favourite MN poster. You are so insightful, and you always have the answer but you never put any one down or make them feel bad when you give it. I look up to you.