Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

fitness instructors touching people during class

45 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2012 21:42

AIBU to find this irrationally annoying?

I went to a pilates class last night and the instructor walked about the room checking people's posture - fine, it is important - but when it was wrong she just knelt down and put her hands on the person's hips or abdomen and moved it to the correct position.

I've had a couple of instructors do this and really loathe it. I'm ticklish, not massively keen on being touched by strangers, and it makes me really tense every time the instructor comes past.

I feel weird and hysterical saying in front of the whole class 'Please don't touch me!' but I seethe inside secretly.......... AIB weird?

OP posts:
madmouse · 10/05/2012 21:45

I totally agree with you in the sense that I hate being touched unless someone I'm close to and even so no surprises or funny places allowed.

On the other hand having done yoga for years I know it is genuinly difficult to correct, particularly where deeper muscles are concerned, without feeling for yourself. Sometimes it's just a little adjustment that makes an enormous difference to the efficiency of the exercise.

Sunscorch · 10/05/2012 21:45

Yup.
It's a far better use of their time to do it physically, than it is to stand next to you and go, "No, a little further forwards. Good, now straighten a touch more. No, a bit less. Less. Stop! Good. Now curl your knee to the left and point your toes. Point them. Look, copy me. No, the other side. Better."

And then suddenly, it's half an hour later and everyone else has gone home bored out of their minds.

WipsGlitter · 10/05/2012 21:47

They should ask before they touch you.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2012 21:51

Sun my old pilates instructor would move me around but she always said she was doing it first. This woman just kind of swoops. Also had a male yoga instructor yonks ago who did this and it freaked me out.

OP posts:
bowerbird · 10/05/2012 21:54

YABU. I do pilates and I really struggle with a couple of positions and always find it enormously helpful (and efficient and quick) when an instructor comes over and physically corrects me.

Of course, they do this less and less now, if ever. Perhaps because of people like yourself.

I think you know you're being unreasonable and while I sympathise with the ticklishness, perhaps you might consider a different form of exercise - one that is definitely hands-off. How can you effectively teach pilates or yoga without touching your students?

ThisIsANickname · 10/05/2012 21:57

Sunscorch I read your name as sunscrotch. :o

Francagoestohollywood · 10/05/2012 22:02

I think YABU

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2012 22:04

What do you mean bower, 'people like myself'? Confused I haven't complained! Nor will I. I just don't like it.

Also surely it is possible to ask before you touch someone? And my old pilates instructor who was amazing didn't do it that often - she still managed to demonstrate/ communicate what she meant pretty well!

OP posts:
gomowthelawn · 10/05/2012 22:10

Switch classes or tell your instructor privately about your issues. Fitness instructors often need to touch to improve posture or stretch muscles. It's normal, and helpful, and it would be to the detriment of their other clients if they no longer felt able to do so. Lots of professionals have to use touch - physios for example. I hope you don't injure yourself....

dementedma · 10/05/2012 22:12

our pilates instructor would gently manipulate us into position. It helped get the exercise right and it never felt intrusive. YABU

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 10/05/2012 22:13

My instructor always asks 'can I touch you there' before adjusting posture etc.

I always say yes because he is a huge hunk of male beauty and I secretly love him

But no one is allowed to touch my head ever (haircuts are a nightmare) - I don't know why but I loathe it.

So YANBU to not like it but YABU not to say anything.

mercibucket · 10/05/2012 22:17

Why not just say at the start of class (obv discretely)?

I've always found it to be a normal part of class but that's cos it was always done in a helpful manner

mercibucket · 10/05/2012 22:17

Why not just say at the start of class (obv discretely)?

I've always found it to be a normal part of class but that's cos it was always done in a helpful manner

exoticfruits · 10/05/2012 22:21

I find it helpful. If you don't like it just have a quiet word, but don't make them stop with everyone.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2012 22:22

gomow - I've had loads of physio and osteopathy in my life and it doesn't bother me because I'm expecting to be touched. What I mean is, someone suddenly touching you without warning.

merci - it's hard because this lady is a stand-in and so you only know once she walks into the class iyswim. Bit rude to walk out then and also I feel weird asking in front of the whole class by that time.

OP posts:
Meglet · 10/05/2012 22:23

yabu. As long as they're not being creepy then it's fine IME.

I'm not a very touchy feely person but when you're working out you do need to get the posture right.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2012 22:23

exotic - yeah I find it helpful too - sorry, I am obviously not explaining this well - but just as someone who is ticklish and likes personal space, I don't like it being done without warning/ consent.

I'm not making anyone do anything! I haven't complained - I am just venting here.

OP posts:
maybenow · 10/05/2012 22:24

since you ask, i think you are being unreasonable to be irrationally irritated by somebody trying to help you in a sports situation but it is your perrogative so youll just have to say to her one day after class that you don't like it - i'm sure she'll remember for the next time.

FoxSake · 10/05/2012 22:25

YABU, I think if you had a quiet word before class they'd leave you out of the touching,i find it really helpful.

PoppyWearer · 10/05/2012 23:12

YABU. It's hugely important for Pilates to know that you are using the correct muscles. The only way the instructor will know that, and do their job properly, is by touching you. As others have said, a small adjustment makes a massive difference.

Find another exercise class. Pilates is not for you.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2012 23:15

Gah. I am obviously not explaining it right. I don't mean being touched per se, I mean without being warned.

Erm Poppy Hmm I have been doing pilates for several years now, twice a week, and own my own Reformer. I think pilates is for me, thanks!

OP posts:
eurochick · 10/05/2012 23:26

They should ask first. I do yoga and the usual teacher always asks before he touches you. The woman who stands in for him when he can't make it just grabs. And last time stood on my foot with her foot. My mind was screaming "GET YOUR SKANKY SWEATY FOOT OFF MY YOU RANCID HIPPY". It was not relaxing. I walked out halfway through the class for the first time in 20 years of gym going. I haven't been back in case I get her again. I absolutely hated it.

Longtalljosie · 11/05/2012 06:55

It's a difficult one. As a regular Pilates goer I was all set to say YABU because you know as well as me that they have to adjust you a bit. But - my first teacher always said "is it ok if I just..." while this one says "Longtalljosie you just need to..." so I suppose I do have a bit of fair warning. I think if it's a big deal you should say.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 11/05/2012 10:16

YANBU - I am a trained aerobics/fitness instructor and whilst qualifying we were told we MUST not touch the clients!! Obv if there is a move you are doing and having probs with and asked for help then fair enough but apart from that it's a no no!

samandi · 11/05/2012 10:46

Depends what the etiquette is in Pilates I guess. I used to do Ashtanga yoga and it's taken for granted that the instructor will correct your position and help you reach the more difficult poses. I'd find it odd if they didn't.