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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for reporting the bus driver?

27 replies

goingeversoslowlymad · 10/05/2012 18:42

Ok DH thinks I was BU, I don't and we have had a bit of a argument about it. He wasn't even there when the incident occurred!

So here goes. Went to take DC1 to a hospital appt this afternoon. Went for the bus, bus pulls up. A man jumps off the bus and hands me his day ticket saying "here have this, I'm finished with it". I already had my purse in hand so jumped on the bus, hannded over the fare for DC and was just unfolding the day ticket when the driver leaned forward snatches ticket off me, rips it up and throws it back at me then yells "you can't do that".

I'm quite a quiet person and hate confrontation so I just said "oh, didnt realise" and handed over my fare, went and sat down. Now I have no problem with the fact that daytickets are non-transferrable, I honestly didn't realise this (yes I am that naive). What I have a problem with was the extremely aggresive way in which the driver dealt the situation. He could have just said "sorry that is not allowed in our t&c's". I would have no problem with that. My DC got really upset because he was so aggressive and talked about it all afternoon.

So anyway got back home and decided to email the bus company and complain about the driver's attitude. My DH went mad and thinks I'm being unreasonable and vindictive for reporting him as he may get into trouble when he was only upholding company policy. My view is I now realise I was wrong to use the ticket but the driver's reaction was very aggressive and over top imo.

Right ready for a flaming now but would love to get others opinions. AIBU for reporting the driver

OP posts:
CaptainHetty · 10/05/2012 18:45

I don't think you're BU, no. Fair enough he didn't want to accept the day ticket, but he didn't have to be rude to you. He obviously needs to work on his social skills. On a particularly hormonal day, someone yelling like that would actually reduce me to tears Blush

PinguFanatic · 10/05/2012 18:47

I don't think you're being unreasonable. There's no excuse for rudeness. You're not complaining that he didn't take the ticket, you're complaining about his rudeness.

HecateTrivia · 10/05/2012 18:53

I agree. Fair enough that it's not allowed, but the way he treated you was horrible. There was no need for him to act in that intimidating, bullying way and you have the right to complain about that.

I fail to see why you have any obligation to protect someone from the consequences of their unacceptable behaviour.

If they don't want to get in the shit - they shouldn't behave in a way that's likely to dip them head first into it!

TidyDancer · 10/05/2012 18:55

It depends how aggressive he actually was. Were you possibly being oversensitive?

TidyDancer · 10/05/2012 18:56

Oh wait, I missed that he threw it back at you. That's not acceptable.

ApocalypseThen · 10/05/2012 18:57

Driving a bus is a customer service job. He has no business speaking to a member of the public like that.

bogeyface · 10/05/2012 18:59

I often wonder if people who say that you shouldnt complain in case you get someone into trouble, are exactly the sort of people that would behave like this.....

OP YANBU

Original poster
goingeversoslowlymad · 10/05/2012 19:03

My DH's POV is that driving a bus and dealing with the public all day must be a highly stressful job and he could have just been having a bad day and I should be more understanding!!!

OP posts:
HecateTrivia · 10/05/2012 19:07

Your husband wasn't the one who got spoken to like shit and a bus ticket chucked in his face.

Complain. Acknowledge their right to not allow tickets to be passed on, be clear that is not why you are complaining, but say that throwing it at you and being aggressive is unacceptable.

HecateTrivia · 10/05/2012 19:08

I sound like I'm giving you orders Blush I'm not, I'm really just saying what I'd do.

camdancer · 10/05/2012 19:08

YANBU at all.

And round here you are allowed to pass on your ticket to someone else. They even advertise that you can do it on the buses. So don't assume it is against the t's and c's. I've been trying to find it on the Stagecoach website but it seems to be hidden, but the adverts on the bus say something like "go into town, pass ticket to other half who goes out for dinner"

YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 10/05/2012 19:10

Fair enough you can't use the ticket but it's not being vindictive to complain about someone shouting, ripping up a ticket and throwing it at you.

Bus drivers have to deal face to face with the public every day in a courteous manner, maybe this one needs more training?

He deserved to be in trouble, his behaviour was rude, aggressive and just plain wrong.
If you don't report it, he won't stop doing it, will he.

squeakytoy · 10/05/2012 19:11

And round here you are allowed to pass on your ticket to someone else. They even advertise that you can do it on the buses.

I really do find that hard to believe to be honest, as they are certainly extremely strict about it in the area where I live, as it loses them revenue!

YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 10/05/2012 19:13

And FWIW, we all have bad days sometimes but in a customer facing role, that's no excuse to behave aggressively.

I don't get to shout at clients if I'm pissed off, I would lose my job as would most people

Original poster
goingeversoslowlymad · 10/05/2012 19:13

hecate Yes I put in the email that I fully acknowledge that this is not allowed and accept I was wrong to use the ticket.

camdancer It is printed at the bottom of the ticket that it non-transferrable. Didn't notice that until today, so I am in the wrong for using the ticket.

OP posts:
MunroMagic · 10/05/2012 19:17

YANBU. The attitude of the driver was excessive and should be brought to the attention of the bus company. (And complaining will make you feel a little better about what happened).

Original poster
goingeversoslowlymad · 10/05/2012 19:18

My biggest problem was that my DC was there and he really scared and upset them. They are still talking about it now so it has really stuck in their mind. Thats what has upset me the most and I have pointed that out in my email.

OP posts:
Yeahthatsnotgonnahappen · 10/05/2012 19:24

Of course YANBU. A normal bus driver would just say that's not allowed. A weird rude bus driver would grab something out of your hand, tear it up and throw it back at you.

Also the reluctance of people to complain because it might get someone in trouble gets my goat. I hate the idea of crap people coasting along in a job whilst there are people looking for jobs who would genuinely be better at it.

Original poster
goingeversoslowlymad · 10/05/2012 21:38

Thanks for all your views, I didn't think I was BU at all and DH's opinion shocked me a bit tbh. He's very mild mannered, hates rudeness but never ever complains about anything!

I think he is coming around to my way way of thinking after DC pretty much ignored him reading the bedtime story to chat incessantly about the nasty bus driver who was awful to mummy.

OP posts:
KateSpade · 10/05/2012 21:49

I think i may have been on a bus with the same drive op!

Said driver was probably the biggest knob head i have ever encountered,

he shouted at a school kid, for attempting to get on the bus (which was the last one 6pm from that pick-up to his drop off) with an empty starbucks coffee cup that he was putting in his bag.. He wouldnt let him get on the bus with the cup in his bag, the kid said, theirs no bin, its in my bag empty, I'm not going to drink it, ect. Kids friend had to take it off him, so he could get home!

Then when he drove the wrong way, my friend questioned him, he called her a fucking bitch and told her to sit back down or he will chuck her off! Shock at both of them!

Aribura · 10/05/2012 22:02

You don't get bonus sob story points for mentioning children, even clearly mentally scarred for life by the mean bus driver ones.

RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2012 22:34

OP YANBU. There is no excuse for rudeness. We all have stressful jobs - I have worked in bars, a greasy spoon cafe, etc - if someone is breaking the rules you just say so, politely but firmly. One bar I worked in went smoke-free before the ban and asking drunk people would they mind not smoking in a pub was not so much fun.

But I never threw anyone's cigarette back in their face.

minesapintofwine · 10/05/2012 23:59

yanbu. I remember catching a bus and it was exact fare only which I didnt realise as I was a country bumpkin was from out of town. The bus driver shouted in front of the townies passengers ''ill accept your £1 even though its 20p dont expect change as I dont have any your OBVIOUSLY not from around here you halfwit'' I was only 15 and on a first date but he didnt know that still I was really Blush. 15 years on I still remember and cringe but if I had complained at least I could know I fought my case a little. Good luck with the complaint yanbu at all.

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2012 00:07

It sounds truly bizarre to me

In what area of the country did this happen?

kittyandthefontanelles · 11/05/2012 00:20

It's a shame that he ruined the kindness of the stranger. It would be an even bigger shame is the message your children got from this was don't bother with small acts of kindness as they will be stamped out. He was unnecessarily rude and aggressive by the sounds of it. I'm sorry your children were upset by this nasty man.

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