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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really upset about not being invited this party?

3 replies

springaroundthecorner · 09/05/2012 20:27

I'm going to change a few details just so this cant be recognised.

My stbx and I split up last year when he finally couldnt deny an affair with OW half his age. They are together, I am alone with DC's.

We have been to a big posh party for a good few years held every 2nd summer in connection with a big summer event that I love. It is work related but also friends. Most people invited to this party are friends not work colleagues and I supect we would have been invited if there wasnt this business connection too. (cant be more specific than that,sorry). The person who is the lets say, senior manager, has been a friend of mine and stbx for 30 years. The owners of this "company" have the party at their own house and the manager can invite anyone he wants.

The manager friend has been very good to me over the divorce and helped me a lot. He told me at the beginning he wanted to stay friends with both of us.

Back in January I met the owners with this friend and in the course of the chat they said you must be the one to come to the party in the summer. They were taken aback by news of the separation etc. and very sorry for me. I was thrilled and it gave me a real boost. I even bought a dress for it earlier in the year, which also gave me boost.

Well it is now less than 3 weeks away, I havent received an invite and today I spoke to the friend and he never mentioned it. Clearly I am not invited. I feel devastated. I was so looking forward to it. I wouldnt have expected an invite other than that I was told I would be getting one! I can't stop crying about it.

Am I being unreasonable to feel so distressed about this? If the friend had even said something it would be easier but he hasnt. He cant think I dont know its on!

I know what I should have done - I should have told my friend that his boss had made a point of inviting me. I should have done it ages ago. Its too late now though to say anything isnt it?

OP posts:
maddening · 09/05/2012 20:31

I would ask your friend since his boss gave you a verbal invite in january

mynewpassion · 09/05/2012 20:35

Maybe they decided in fairness to not invite either of you.

springaroundthecorner · 09/05/2012 20:49

Well, there's a thought mynewpassion, that hadn't crossed my mind!

I am certain none of this is being done with any malice. Its not going to make it any easier on the day though when I am at home alone watching on the telly.

I think I missed my opportunity to say anything to my friend today, maddening. I am not sure I want to put him on the spot. Sad

OP posts:
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