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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being over protective to be annoyed by school today

56 replies

bblp888 · 08/05/2012 19:42

My DS is 4, and started reception this year, the school is great and I am happy with it in general. I was upset today though as DS came home from school in another pair of trousers and said it was because he hadn't made it to the loo in time and had wet himself...so no big deal and all fine I thought. When I bathed him just then he was wearing the trousers and school pants but over the top of his wet pants, he says that the teaching assistant gave him the trousers and pants and took him to the loo but then some year six's came in, so she asked them to help him. They then started a game throwing his trousers to each other and down the loo and laughing. So he said he put the new pants and trousers on himself. So he sat in a wet pair of pants for the rest of the day, which must have been horrible. So I am annoyed that firstly they didn't check he was ok changing himself out of wet clothes (he's only 4.5 ) and secondly that they asked some year 6 boys to do it, the whole situation just sounds a bit mean to me, with them laughing and throwing his trousers around and I am annoyed by it. Do you think I am being over protective about this. DS seems oblivious to it and doesn't seem to have found any it upsetting!!

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 08/05/2012 20:42

It makes no difference if your son was ok with the "game" or not. Luckily he is fine, thank goodness, but that doesn't alter the fact that the TA left him with older children, unsupervised, to have his underclothes changed. She is WAY out of order and I'd be fuming Angry I think whoever it was who said the older boys were probably silly out of embarassment has a point too, that TA should not have put ANY of those children in that position. They could hardly tell an adult, who they have been taught to respect and obey at school, that they wouldn't so something she told them to. I would place all the blame firmly with her!

AmIthatbad · 08/05/2012 20:42

You are definitely not being overprotective, and from the tone of your OP you are being VVV reasonable, more so than I would be.

I am angry on your behalf.

And I am another one that would insist on speaking with the HT tomorrow,

Your poor son Angry

LoveHandles88 · 08/05/2012 20:45

This is unacceptable!!! I am aware of an 8 year old boy in the area I live that has abused other children and animals (he imo should have been removed from his family home a long time ago given his circumstances at home).
TA should be more responsible, less lazy, and take some lessons in pastoral care! I would be in the ht office first thing, foaming at the mouth.
YADNBU

IWishIWasAFrog · 08/05/2012 20:48

Y are so NBU.

FatherDougalMcGuire · 08/05/2012 20:54

Jesus, I'd have been down there baying for blood. What a humiliating experience for your poor ds, not to mention the fact that urine can burn the skin...I hope you get a satisfactory explanation, though I don't think there is one!

Twinkleinmyeye · 08/05/2012 21:11

YANBU. (in case you need another voice saying it.) I would be furious, absolutely livid. Thank goodness your DS doesn't seem to have been too bothered by it.

What an awful TA. Get down to the school and complain. "having a word" doesn't sound enough!! :(

Puffinsaresmall · 08/05/2012 21:14

yanbu Angry

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 08/05/2012 21:18

That's way out of line, and I speak from experience as I work in a reception class. Part of our job is to maintain children's dignity in situations like this, and whoever let this happen to your child didn't do this.

I would be concerned about the school overall, because in my school older children would never do something like that, and if they did they would be in very serious trouble. The older ones are very much encouraged to 'look after' the younger ones, whichthey do beautifully, but that doesn't extend to personal care and doing a TAs job for them. I really think that you have every right to go into school and ensure this is investigated further.

numbum · 08/05/2012 21:24

Yanbu...if that's what really happened

lucyellensmumnamechange · 08/05/2012 21:27

I would be beyond demented with rage - Bugger talking to his teacher, make an appointment with the head. I can feel my adrenaline surge on your behalf Angry

Heyyyho · 08/05/2012 21:27

oh that is so mean - poor baby Sad

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2012 21:33

How horrible. Your poor DS. I could cry for him.

Go and see the Head definitely.

BrianButterfield · 08/05/2012 21:33

Just check exactly what happened before you start raging - you have every right to if this story is right but 4-year-olds do tend to get muddled sometimes. I am NOT saying your DS is a liar, btw! It's just that sometimes they get confused and they think they're telling the truth but it's very far from what happened.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 08/05/2012 21:37

Asking year 6 boys to help is asking for nothing but trouble. How awful for your DS - but at least he has remained cheerful. However, definitely tell the school, the TA needs to know what she did was wrong.

Pilchardnpoppy · 08/05/2012 21:58

I'm a primary teacher and angry on your behalf. Please make a formal complaint.

happyfeet11 · 08/05/2012 23:14

I would be angry if this happened to one of my dc. Your poor ds.

mamalovesmojitos · 08/05/2012 23:17

YADNBU I am raging reading your op. Don't be afraid to report. You are not over-protective.

gafhyb · 09/05/2012 06:40

Outraged

I agree with what you say about the year 6 boys (as well as agreeing they should not have been asked to do this). The Y6 s at our school would not take advantage of a Reception child

Original poster
bblp888 · 09/05/2012 07:43

I'm going to go in this morning and talk to his teacher about it, it's always really busy at drop off though with kids and parents so do you think I should tell her something happened yesterday that I am not happy about and that i want to talk to her after school or should i just ask to speak to her now? I don't really want to have to have this conversation when she hasn't got time and in front of anyone else...what do you think? Bit worried if I leave it until after school it looks like it's not that important to me( which it is)

OP posts:
MooBaaWoofCheep · 09/05/2012 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theglassishalffull · 09/05/2012 08:01

I would ask to speak to her this morning about it, if she is unable o talk then I would not outline the problem to her until tonight. Just so they can't think of excuses.

Bucharest · 09/05/2012 08:02

YANBU at all.

I would be absolutely bloody ballistic. (and 99% of the times on these threads I accuse the mother of being precious and support the school)

Ask to speak to her immediately- and if she hasn't got time then go and interrupt the head's morning coffee. Don't leave it till after school.

Theglassishalffull · 09/05/2012 08:03

Or go to the head if teacher is busy and you want to get it sorted.

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/05/2012 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

albertcamus · 09/05/2012 11:52

As a secondary teacher, I can honestly say that we've NEVER known such an awful yeargroup as our current Year 7, there must have been something in the water that year ... the level of bullying and lack of respect for each other is completely different from previous years.

So I can imagine many of the horrible 60/170 in the yeargroup having got away with behaviour like this in Year 6. I really hope you complain and the worst culprits are identified and dealt with.

If only more kids were picked up for this type of bullying behaviour in instances like this, they wouldn't be so utterly impossible at the age of 11/12 when we get them. Hope your DS is ok now, poor thing :(