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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give ds a half birthday?

36 replies

tittytittyhanghang · 08/05/2012 18:07

Ds birthday is a few days before xmas. Wanted to give him a party last year (local leisure centre with bouncy castle and face painting) but because of the time of year it was impossible (late xmas shopping/other people too busy etc) and someone suggested a half birthday party, which would be at end of June. Quite fancy it as dont want ds missing out because I decided March was a good month for a quickie AIBU?

OP posts:

bogeyface · 08/05/2012 18:08

My friends mum's birthday is on Boxing day but she always celebrates it on Easter Sunday, so I dont think that YAbU at all.

GateGipsy · 08/05/2012 18:11

I don't think you're bu. At all. I think that half birthdays are perfect for the children who have birthdays at Christmas.

Don't let the bad rap that half birthdays have put you off. It is only the very unreasonable parents who use them to have TWO birthday parties (and get two lots of presents?!) that give them a bad name.

For a child whose birthday otherwise gets lost in the Christmas period (have one heartbreaking story of a boy whose birthday is two days after Christmas, parents had organised a party, invited his four best friends, parents of all four said yes, and not ONE turned up, didn't even call to say sorry can't make it) this is a WONDERFUL idea.

Beanbagz · 08/05/2012 18:11

We had half birthday parties for my DS before he started school as he was born a few days after Christmas. It was great fun and broke up the year for us.

KurriKurri · 08/05/2012 18:12

No yanbu, - my DD's birthday is a few days after Christmas, and I often used to do party for her a couple of months afterwards - there's so much going on and general excitement/parties etc. at Christamas, that a birthday party can lose it's specialness, and also often people can't come because they are going away or have other commitments.

Also children with Christmas birthdays have to basically wait a whole year for an exciting occasion, and then two come at once. Much better to spread it all out a bit.

Half birthdays are great.

harassedandherbug · 08/05/2012 18:12

I was thinking of doing this too as ds was born on New Years Day. Be interesting to see others opinion, but I think YANBU.

MadameChinLegs · 08/05/2012 18:13

I think YABU.

My DD was born on 19th Dec, and I have spent a lot of time reading the Christmas boards and there are many people who were either born next to Christmas or their DCs were. Some like the idea of a half birthday, some don't.

The way I think of it, if you were to have another child in, say, the summertime, how would you differentiate? DC1 gets his Actual Birthday - no doubt gifts and cake from family and close friends then six months later gets a party with all his friends and more gifts and more cake. DC2 gets his summer party with gifts form friends and family and cake....then wonders why DC1 gets two celebrations and he doesn't. Kids wouldn't understand that they get half their presents and fun one time and half another. Theyd just see two parties for their brother and only one for them.

Be organised. And appeal to parents. Have his party somewhere close to shopping and sell it to parents as three hours "free babysitting and cake" while they get the freedom to shop for christmas.

Noqontrol · 08/05/2012 18:13

Well, I don't think you are unreasonable but that is because I'm going to do the same thing for ds. His birthday just gets swallowed up by Christmas as its so close. So I'm going to do a family birthday celebration on the day and hold a party for him in June, when the weathers nicer

HipHopOpotomus · 08/05/2012 18:15

good idea - we went to one of DD friends party last July. It was her first ever party as she was born around Xmas.

Noqontrol · 08/05/2012 18:18

I've got a dd who was born in sept too. I've spoken to her about it and she feels sad that ds's birthday is swallowed up by Christmas and thus is happy for him to shift his party. Things don't have to be exactly the same for each, you do what's best for each individual. Aside from that dd's party is rarely on the actual day because of school, plus she doesn't loose out at Christmas time because of Christmas day.

tiredteddy · 08/05/2012 18:20

I grew up with my big sis having a half birthday in that last week of summer term. Her actual birthday is 27th dec and no one was ever available for parties. On her birthday it was always just immediate family so birthday tea. I think it worked really well and as she grew out of having parties she just used her proper birthday. Great idea IMO !

TheHappyHissy · 08/05/2012 18:23

My DS has his birthday on 14th December. We decorate the house for Christmas on or in time for that day so his birthday kicks Christmas off in our house.

I asked him this year (he's 6) if he minded having to wait all year for his birthday/Christmas.

He looked at me as if I were quite mad! 'Are you kidding?' he said, 'I get 2 weeks of presents, advent calendar bits every day, it's GREAT!'

Maybe when he's older he'll want a summer celebration, but for now he's as pleased as punch!

MadameChinLegs · 08/05/2012 18:29

You could also just throw a Summer Party, with no'birthday' connotations...just to get the 6 weeks holidays off to a bang?

FondleWithCare · 08/05/2012 18:29

Would he want this? My birthday is Christmas Day and I would have hated a party nowhere near my birthday. I always had my party a couple of weeks before and that always worked out fine.

Noqontrol · 08/05/2012 18:30

If my ds's birthday was on the 14th I'd probably do the same and have it on the actual day as its far enough away to have a separate celebration. My ds's is just a couple of days before though.

chullah · 08/05/2012 18:30

DD2's birthday is new years eve - give it 15 years and she's gonna lurrrrve me for having just about the coolest birthday of the calendar

In the meantime we have to put up with people attending her parties and thinking it's a NYE party and not going home .

I can totally get the rationale of half birthdays if any other time around Xmas.

Noqontrol · 08/05/2012 18:31

New years eve, a very cool birthday.

Abcinthia · 08/05/2012 18:37

My birthday is 23rd December and I never wanted a half birthday as a child. My mum suggested it several times but I didn't want a party no where near my real birthday. I used to have birthday parties a week or two before my birthday and there was always a good turn out (probably because the parents were desperate to have child-free hours for last minute xmas shopping!). When I got to my teen years, I had my party on my actual birthday and people were always happy to come then too.

I actually really enjoy having a December birthday.

CrunchyFrog · 08/05/2012 18:39

DS2 is New Year's Day, the awkward bugger. I have enforced family jollification for his 3 parties so far. There has been much hungover moaning.

He's had his little friends coming so far too, hope that continues next year.

I don't like the idea of a half birthday, because birthdays are really important to me (for some reason, probably woo, don't know what) and the time of year is part of that.

CleanHankie · 08/05/2012 18:45

My birthday falls a few days before Christmas. Always had a party within the week previous and always had plenty of people to celebrate with. I do recall feeling envious about a friend who had a birthday treasure hunt in the garden and knew that would never happen for me. However another friend confided in me that she loved my parties as we always had up the decs and tree, making my parties always feel festive. Made my party stand out among all the other parties . DD 2 is a Christmas Day baby and I plan to still hold a party for her in the week previous. My midwife actually pointed out that if I held her party on Christmas Eve (and invited siblings), therefore reliving parents of children for a few hours, I'd be friends with their parents for life

I can see why you'd want to give him a half birthday, but just wanted to say Christmas parties can be special too. I dislike people saying "it gets swallowed up in Christmas". Well don't let it. Make sure you build up to the day and ensure they get a "birthday Day" and not a "it's nearly christmas and also your birthday Day".

PeggyCarter · 08/05/2012 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameChinLegs · 08/05/2012 19:18

Anyone have experience of 'joint birthday and christmas' presents? I really don't like the idea of them, and it is NOT down to me wanting more money spent on DD, but the recognition of a birthday.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 08/05/2012 19:22

I always have my DDs birthday party in June because her Birthday falls in July when everyone is on holiday! It's fine! People don't question it.

imnotmymum · 08/05/2012 19:22

We have an "unbirthday" for DD in summer as her bday is xmas time. We always make things birthday not xmasy but still to have friends over /party etc most are busy. I am a new year day baby and have horrible memories of "bigger pressie for xmas do for bday as well" so I ensure it is special but a party lovely for her.

Abcinthia · 08/05/2012 19:30

MadameChinLegs

On the most part, I hated joint presents. So many people would give me a joint birthday & Christmas present which was excatly the same as the present my sister got solely for Christmas (she's also 4 years younger than me, so I didn't even want the sort of thing she wanted). I didn't mind when it was a bigger/more special present because it was joint.

There were also a few people who would tell me I wasn't allowed to open the present until Christmas day and would get stroppy because my mum would allow me to open them on Christmas Eve, as it's inbetween my birthday and Christmas.

MadameChinLegs · 08/05/2012 19:37

I am actually a little concerned. I reckon my SIL may do that (I got a joint wedding and birthday present as my birthday was a week before my wedding....hmm....so I have to share with dh?)

I have thought up a plan that if she does it, Ill say "what a brilliant idea!! I'll do that for your dd too, then. " Her DD was born the oct before my dd.

Hmmm....dont know if I can be passive agressive about it.

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