to be annoyed about DH's pallet delivery?

[misslinnet]

DH has arranged with someone to have a pallet delivered on Wednesday. He told me yesterday that I need to be in to accept delivery.

I'm not very happy about this because I have things I would like to do on Wednesday - a bounce & rhyme session with DS (which he loves) and going out to meet some friends I haven't seen for ages for lunch.

DH feels that I should cancel my plans and stay in to sign for the pallet and tell the delivery men where to put it. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is "completely unimportant" and 10 is "end of the world", DH has ranked me being out when the lorry arrives as a 10. The contents of the pallet are some sort of engine and DH is worried that scrap metal collectors might steal it. The pallet will be on display on the drive until DH gets home whether I'm in or not, as I won't be able to move it. DH knows this.

I feel that DH should have checked which days would be best for me before agreeing that Wednesday was a good day for the pallet to be delivered. For instance, Thursday is currently our day "off", with no regular activities for me and DS. I'm feeling a bit resentful about this assumption that I'd be happy to just cancel my plans at the drop of a hat.

DH also said this morning that he is off work on Friday, which in my view makes this whole pallet delivery thing more unreasonable.

Needless to say, before flouncing off to work this morning, DH said that he thought I was being unreasonable about wanting to go out on Wednesday instead of staying in to sign for his pallet.

So - am I being unreasonable? Or is DH?

My DH does this to me all the time. Do what I do, ring the delivery company and reschedule the delivery, in your case for Friday. It is unfortunate he picked a bad day for you, but not worth fighting about.

Good advice, gomowthelawn

Sadly I don't know who's delivering the pallet! I'll have to see if DH replies to my text message asking him that...

He should have checked but is it worth a full blown row?

Check details, one we had just dropped items kerbside anyway!

Given that it will be sitting in the drive and he is worried about it being stolen, he´s a complete idiot for not having it delivered when he is there imo.

Is the delivery even a morning/afternoon slot or could potentially be waiting all day?

OK, I may be guilty of wading in there.

So, he didn´t check at all if Weds was OK-just assumed?

Do you usually go to "bounce & rhyme"-and does he know this?

Do you have plans to meet friends?

I think HIBU for not checking with you first.

You need to have a calendar hanging in a prominent place so that you can each put in your arrangements and check if there is already something fixed. First come, first served.
We actually have a diary kept on a laptop, that we can each copy onto our phones and have a record of the other's appointments when we are out.

Get him to change his day off.

YANBU. But besides which, if he's so concerned that the item will be stolen from the driveway, are you then expected to stand next to it like a sentry till he gets home??! Bugger that, I'd reschedule.

As an aside, I stupidly arranged for a whole pallet of wooden flooring to be delivered when DH was working. Arrived on a pallet, plonked on the drive. I must have stared at it for a good ten minutes before reconciling that I'd have to carry it all in myself! Took me at least an hour and the bruises lasted two weeks

My DP does this, it pisses me off.

Since the debacle over the sleepers (that I was supposed to unload from the lorry ) he's been a bit more considerate.

Does he ask you to do this a lot or is this a one off?

If it's a one off then seriously, it;s not gonna kill you to change your plans and help him out is it! Maybe he was really stuck with the delivery times and this was the only slot he could get.

I think YABU. but thats just my opinion. Its just one day.Surely it wouldnt hurt helping him out? I have to be here everyday for deliverys of pallets, Then I have to empty them and put them away too!

YANBU HIBVVVVVU for not having the consideration to check with you first, especially as he's having Friday off. He should have either booked Wednesday off or had the delivery made on Friday.

He should have checked with you first, but I think you could probably have the time rearranged to a time that suits you better without it causing the mother of all rows.

It's not the first time he's arranged for things to be delivered without checking whether I'm available. No luck finding the pallet company either, so it'll be turning up tomorrow whether I like it or not.

I like the calendar suggestion though. Will see if we can implement that and hopefully prevent this from happening again!

Yes he should have checked with you but it is true that a valuable item like an engine is a big temptation to thieves. Put it this way: if you go ahead with your plans and the engine is stolen then you will have the mother of all rows. No lunch with friends is worth that.

Oh I would be sorely tempted to tell him where to put it never mind the delivery men!

Invite your friends for yours to lunch and tell DH he'll paying for takeaway for them

I definitely wouldn't advise it

He should've checked, but just to avoid a big row, can you have friends over to your house instead?