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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell jsa to stuff their money

78 replies

wannabeamillionaire · 08/05/2012 01:21

Again short version: looked after my dad for two years (he has alz). Before that I was a Accounts Manager on a good salary. Been on JSA for two months now because dad has deteriorated. Last week I posted that they want to send me on a course to send emails, create a spreadsheet etc. I have to sign on every week because my advisor thinks I am "losing direction" :( I even asked her if she had even looked at my cv.

They can shove the course where the sun does not shine seriously.. So anyway after taking another posters advice about different websites I have found voluntary work where I would be advising in Mental Health (Lets face it I know about mental health now).

The problem is that I would still be taking a "salary" from dad's bank account each week. This is something that we all decided at the time that dad became ill that I would do and I would carry on doing until I got another job.

So the salary would tick me over until I found another job without the government's so called help.

I do not think I ABU but just wanted to get other people's advice really.

OP posts:
Duckypoohs · 09/05/2012 02:28

Wannabe I don't want to be nasty, but the fact that you want to go back into your previous field has no bearing on the reality of the situation. The fact that you are qualified for something, does not exempt you from taking other jobs which mean you are no longer seeking JSA.

You are not a special flower, you are one in several million. Lots and lots of very qualified and capable people will be working as cleaners from now on, look at reality, not your desires.

Duckypoohs · 09/05/2012 02:32

If you want someone to blame, blame industry and the government for outsourcing every job that could be.

Original poster
wannabeamillionaire · 09/05/2012 02:35

worra: I know honestly, I started the thread out of frustration not anger. To be called a twat etc is just ridiculous. Anyway, I am like 2 million others now looking for a job. I am no more superior than anyone else. I came from a council estate for god's sake. I know my place. I was just trying to say that for the poxy amount they pay you I could try and live without it that was all... ok I was being a little "above my station" to turn down a job in Boots.

OP posts:
Original poster
wannabeamillionaire · 09/05/2012 02:47

Ducky: I know I am not a "special flower". where that came from who knows? I am not looking for desires I am looking for reality. I am to tired now to argue/debate with someone that I do not even know. I am not a twat I am just a normal person who is unemployed debating what is going on in my life..... so glad you have a better one enjoy.

I actually wish I had not started this bloody post I have enough to deal with

OP posts:
Emmielu · 09/05/2012 05:55

Llan - the volunteering comment was told to me by an advisor 2 months ago. It was also said to me by jsa online & when I rang them too to triple check.

ibizagirl · 09/05/2012 06:20

You will have to apply for Carers Allowance like i did. But i think that your Dad will have to be in receipt of maybe Attendance Allowance first. I look after grandparents and one has full rate DLA and the other Attendance Allowance but i can only claim for looking after one person and not two. It has to all be done properly. I had all this myself until it was all sorted out properly. I am a single parent too and in the end i ended up with Income support and Carers allowance and obviously Child benefit.

AmberLeaf · 09/05/2012 07:53

What shitty unsupportive replies.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 09/05/2012 08:04

why should I work in a shop on minimum wage?

To earn your own money!

I want to go back into a job that I have studied and worked hard in

I want a five bedroomed house but it's not going to happen.

You have to be realistic. You may have worked hard in your career, but you have also been out of the loop for two years. I hope you do find the sort of job you want, but as competition is likely to be high and you don't want to be stuck on JSA for any longer than you have to be, you eed to think about the type of job you are likely to get, not one that you want.

squidworth · 09/05/2012 08:07

I am a bit confused on the single mum part if your kids are working? You are within your right to hold out for a job you want if you are not claiming. Again though if this is verbal agreement to take money it can cause hell even with all the good will in the world, it's your siblings you need to ask wrt your op, and confirm in writing.

creighton · 09/05/2012 08:17

dear op, take six months off to collect your thoughts if you want to. jsa is your money, you have already worked and paid for it. take no notice of the people who want you to do some shit eating job for minimum wage. you need to consider what is best for you. i don't blame you for having a rant. the jobcentre is shit, that's all, shit. they do not know anything about job markets, they do not help people with half a brain. they exist to keep themselves in jobs and treat the rest of us like dirt. if the workers had to operate outside of the jobcentre, it would be an eyeopener for them and they would not act so cavalierly with other workers.

margerykemp · 09/05/2012 08:55

If you are still taking a salary from your dad at the same time as claiming JSA then you are committing benefit fraud, sorry. You really need to end the claim now. They come down really hard on cases like this. It is not out with possibility that you could get a custodial sentence! Seriously it's not worth the stress. Also a criminal record will f up your chances of getting another job.

TotemPole · 09/05/2012 09:19

You should also declare the salary for tax purposes.

OhTheConfusion · 09/05/2012 09:22

OP, can I ask how the decision cam about that you would be the one out of five siblings to give up your job? Has you doing this put such a financial strain on the other four?

If you are only taking a 'pitance' from your dad in order to keep the other future in heritance then this has to be addressed. I know if one of my siblings did the same then we as a family would be looking to pay that person the equivilant of a decent working wage as the rest of us would still be earning our origional wage and not suffering the hardship that person would have to.

ie. if sibling 1 earns £35,000, s2 £29,000, s3 £42,000 etc then why should sibling 4 who has given up work by mutual agreement go onto benefits?!?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 09/05/2012 09:22

Creighton, JSA is not OPs money of she doesn't meet the criteria. If apply (and taking) jobs in Boots for NMW is what OP has to to meet the criteria, then so be it. Otherwise it's not 'her' money at all.

diamondsonthesolesofhershoes · 09/05/2012 09:34

With the boots issue, I don't think any person is above any job. In this society we have to work to care for ourselves and our families. I mean it doesn't matter what you've done to pay for your food shop as long as it's bought! I speak as someone who had to take a massive step back in my career at the beginning of the recession and just getting back on track now.

However, if you have other options then you'd be silly not to consider them. But, IME, it's always easier to find work when you're already working.

I second the posters who say you should be applying for carers not JSA

TotemPole · 09/05/2012 09:39

Actually, thinking about it, you probably don't need to declare it for tax if it's a private arrangement within the family. But I think benefits would have something to say if you have a regular income and still claim JSA.

CallMeAl · 09/05/2012 10:12

I'm considerable more educated than yew and have cleaned toilets for a job.
You gotta do what you gotta do.

AmberLeaf · 09/05/2012 10:13

She cant claim carers as her dad is permantly in hospital!

AmberLeaf · 09/05/2012 10:13

spelling fail there, you know what I mean!

AdelaideRex · 09/05/2012 10:19

Does your Father receive Attendance Allowance? it sounds like he should, you could then apply for Carers Allowance for looking after him

Go to your local Citizens Advice bureau for benefits advice

Dont forget if you're not getting JSA they wont credit you with NI contributions either

AdelaideRex · 09/05/2012 10:22

Just read more forget the AA if he's in hosp

MarySA · 09/05/2012 10:26

YABU. If you are highly qualified and can get a good job then get that job. There are countless numbers of highly qualified people working in jobs they are overqualified to do. If you don't need jobseekers allowance that much then don't claim it. If you do then toe the line.

Growlithe · 09/05/2012 11:38

OP, there is another way of looking at this. Your father's illness is quite understandably putting you under a great deal of stress right now. With that in mind it may not be the best time to try to restart you career just now. If you got a job similar to the Boots job you are talking about, it would give you some cash, with a lot less pressure and would get you out of the situation for a few hours a day, meeting different people. Then when you are strong enough to start again, I think having any job on your CV whilst undergoing such difficult family circumstances could work in your favour. Good luck.

MarySA · 09/05/2012 19:23

I agree with Growlithe. My post was too harsh in view of the stress you have been under with your father's illness. I'm sorry.

iamhereagain · 10/05/2012 12:33

OP I am sorry but none of what you are saying makes any sense, you care for him full time but he is in hospital full time but you have just got home from hospital as he drank shampoo??? you are a single mum but your kids work? you know what lots and lots of people care for their children,parents,partners you are not the only one I am sure lots of these people also have degrees but that has nothing to do with it the reality is anyone can find themself in a situation where they have to care for someone be it a child or other family member and when you find yourself in that situation you do what you have to do be it working in boots or scrubbing toilets so be it. Having a degree means nothing if you are not in the situation where you can find a job thats fits in with the rest of your life.