how to keep on top of their bedrooms- help

[cooey2]

i have joined here because i am going insane or nagging or losing the plot over messy bedrooms. DD is 11, DS is 9, yet washing thrown around rooms, nothing put away, i ground them 9 form attending youth club for one night)but still nothing changes. i don't want to do the 'mum shouting every weekend' or 'god she at again'. I would really appreciate some positive advice or other mums tried and tested approaches

Money incentive is the only thing that has ever worked for me

Get a magazine, or book, and cup of tea. Plonk yourself on their bed and give them instructions every couple of minutes!

Make them have a ten minute tidy every night before bed....making sure you send them up ten minutes earlier.

Have a quick check before you kiss them goodnight and if there's anything they've forgotten, they can go up 15 minutes earlier the next night and so on....

They soon get to realise it's them that loses out.

thanks, just wanted to feel i wasn't the only mum going through this. I feel such a nag, but it my house, i paid for the items and i do the washing and cleaning, i don't want perfect i just would like to se the colour of the carpet now and again and not to break my neck every time i go in . Thanks again

Tell them they have got 30 minutes to tidy up, then you are going up with a big bag and everything on the floor is going in it.
Then actually do it.
Then tell them on Monday mornings you will do the same thing.

You might have to chuck some stuff away until they realise you mean it.
I did it last year, the room is now relatively tidy.

I second the 10 minutes before bed rule. Mine are 8 and 5 so still young enough for star charts with a reward when target number of stars reached. if they have a five minute tidy before bed they get a star, if not, they lose one. have to be a bit more lenient with the little one but as long as am effort has been made I'm happy, I don't expect it to be perfect.

Haha....... i remember my mum doing this with me. She nagged and nagged about the state of my bedroom when i was about 9. she warned me on a sunday afternoon, that if i didn't tidy my room, when i got home from school tomorrow, everything that wasn' put away would go in the bin. AND IT DID!!!! I got home from school, and it was ALL gone. Turned out mum donated aload of stuff to the charity. However, after a few weeks, important/ expensive items, started coming back. I must say that i am now a bit of a tidy nut. It was harsh but it really did work. Mum said if i didn't look after things, it showed that i wasn't interested in them. Gulp!

Do they have to be tidy? I do a quick Hoover in their rooms once a week. I dump everything from the floor onto the beds and leave it. I then pull the door too and ignore.

I am extremely tidy around the house BUT I used to be exactly the same as them at their age (11 and 14).

Make sure there is somewere for everything to be put away easily.
Any washing not put in the laundry basket isn't washed.
If their rooms are awful now, they will need help getting them straight, so go and supervise. After that, they either have them reasonable before bedtime or they lose tv/computer privileges the next day.

Give them two weeks to follow the rules, or in you go with binbags.

I have the same problem. A few weeks ago when at school I took in the bin bags and filled 7 of them, clothes and all, if it was on the floor it went in the bag. When they got home from school I heard the waterworks I expected but not because all clothes, toys and anything else had been chucked, but because I had thrown away the grease-proof paper used for tracing!

I have withheld money, threats, bribed, so far I've found nothing that works except keeping it as empty as possible.

Another time we found loads of crap stuffed behind my son's cabin bed. At his wits end my hubby sawed it all down so that there was one little bed left. When my son went in he came racing down, 'dad, dad, have you seen my bed? It's brilliant'!

I just chuck everything out apart from electronics, books and stuff for school. ds1 is past the crappy plastic toy stage now. I just withdraw the internet and food until it's done.

With my youngest, (7) I find going in there with her and working together on the tidying helps. As she chooses where to keep things, she is better at putting them away after.

With my eldest, (11) I find that going in there when she is there really helps - she panics and starts tidying as she thinks I am going to throw her precious scraps of paper away.

Apart from that, pocket money is a great incentive. They get it in arrears, not in advance for the month. And they can offer to do jobs I hate to earn extra at 50p a time. E.g. I'd left the laundry out overnight and DD2 was up earlier than me this morning. SHe noticed it start to rain and got it in for me.

bought new storage for ds, helped him tidy up, filled a binbag when he was out, found pj's, crisp packets, something smelt, located it ( old chocolate at the bottom of a bag he had packed to play at nana's) (gross), febreezed the carpet. job well done. Now i can see when it gets up tidy, going to follow thw ten minute a day rule, if it gets messy then it the binbags and i will carry it through. i am one happy mum x

Both my DC can earn £1 by tidying and hoovering their rooms. DS does his without fail every week (still at primary school), DD never does hers (at sec school)

Periodically (like yesterday) we tell DD she HAS to tidy her room - she clears the floor with much bad grace, and we get a load of grief for having asked, and a load of clothes (whether cleanish or dirty) in the wash basket

I am praying DS doesn't turn into DD in September!

I have found the best solution is to shut the door and walk away :o

You could insist all washing goes in a basket outside their rooms or they get no clean clothes! Other than that it's their rooms you don't need to go in there can't they keep it how they like it?

I'm pretty laid back with my children. I do have a few rules though.

1. I don't allow any food upstairs - so at least I know there's no manky plates etc lurking under the bed. It might be messy, but it should mostly be hygenic.

1. DDs have a laundry basket in their rooms. I find this helps with them putting clothes in there.

1. During the week, if they want to mess their rooms up, then that's their choice - but pocket money day is Sunday, and if it is not done by bed time on Sunday, then they don't get their pocket money.

1. If their room is untidy, then they are not allowed to have friends in to play. Friends can only play in their rooms, when their rooms are tidy. Otherwise, if they want to go and call for a friend to come round, they have to tidy up first.