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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect the school to judge competitions fairly?

30 replies

MINIBondGirl · 07/05/2012 11:37

We seem to have a few very competitive parents and when a project or competition comes up it is blatantly obvious when the work has been done more by or exclusively by the parent rather than the child. (We're talking infant school). Every time there is judging involved it is the ones done by the parents who always win. I really feel for the children who put a great deal of effort in and know they have no chance of winning.

The school says they want to encourage the parents to be involved but surely some common sense could be applied when choosing a winner? You could say that the parents should just do all the work - but what's the point?

OP posts:

Olympia2012 · 07/05/2012 11:41

It's one of those things..... You aren't losing sleep over this are you?

lunamoon · 07/05/2012 11:42

I see where you are coming from. However are you absolutely certain that there aren't just some gifted kids in the class-grasps at straws.

It is the same with fancy dress costumes. I really think that original, homemade ideas should always trump those which are clearly shop bought, Disney bloody princess outfits, but others disagree.

Can't really offer any advice as I don't agree with parents doing homework for children at all.

ragged · 07/05/2012 11:45

Ugh, I am so on the fence. YANBU but what Olympia said, too.
I've seen the wonkiest items win some competitions, not every school chooses the parent's best effort to win.

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2012 11:45

I agree but having said that, if you saw the artwork my friend's 4yr old produces, you'd swear blind it was done by an adult.

Then again, the School know that so YANBU.

If a child who is 'ok' at these things suddenly turns up with a masterpiece, it really should be judged accordingly and the kid who stuck a couple of toilet rolls together should probably be given higher marks.

Original poster

MINIBondGirl · 07/05/2012 11:52

Haha no I am not losing sleep over this - just fancied it as a discussion point.

As for being sure who's it doing it - I'm not sure I know many 4-6yr olds who can make a 6ft+ papier mache swordfish and paint it in intricate detail - so no - it's quite obvious...

We had another for a jubilee poster and the winning parent was explaining to me how she did it... blushed and then said "oh so and so did most of it"...

OP posts:

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 07/05/2012 11:58

It's an odd thing for parents to judge - some kids will and do go above and beyond at crafty/project type things because that is what they enjoy and are good at. Some parents do their kids work for them.

I think an adult and a child entry category is the way to go!

lunamoon · 07/05/2012 12:02

It is difficult because you do have to pick the best, and yet it should be the best that a CHILD has done.

lunamoon · 07/05/2012 12:08

Op- Wait for the school production, then all hell breaks loose.
Is it fair for James and Hannah to have the lead roles AGAIN, they did it last year.
Should naughty little Tom be given such a good part when he is a little shit in lessons.
Is it right for timid Jennifer to have a large speaking role when nobody can hear her?
Should Mathilda be given the speaking role as she is the most confident?

Babylon1 · 07/05/2012 12:16

I'm a governor at DD1s school and part of the role involves judging various pieces if work and awarding 1st 2nd and 3rd etc for the class of my responsibility, which is a year3 class currently.

I've taken the time over the last two years to spend time in the classroom with this class and get to "know" the pupils and their abilities for this very reason.

I now feel they are being judged equally based on their own abilities and not on the abilities of their parents! It is a big issue in some schools, particularly in more affluent areas, where parents seem to be a lot more competitive.

McHappyPants2012 · 07/05/2012 12:21

i must be terrible, i gets my sister to do it.

16april · 07/05/2012 12:28

It probably happens at lots of schools certainly does at my childrens!

You should have seen the easter bonnets at our primary school! There is no way that some of the reception children would have been able to have made the masterpieces that they turned up with!

Dreading the year 6 production. Will most certainly be the usual ones who get the main parts. Before any one says that its probably because they are the most talented, etc etc no its not.

When my dd's year did a year 5 performance, they were asked to audition for parts. Certain children were given good parts without an audition.

As wrong as it may be, I tell my daughter to not bother. At least at her drama class she attends at weekends, she gets to be part of the perfomances. I tell her to focus on that!

MarySA · 07/05/2012 12:39

I've been through this at primary school. The parents always had a hand in things. Especially things like Easter Bonnets. I think it's pathetic.

BeaOnSea · 07/05/2012 12:46

My DC are grown up now but, I can say hand on heart, that if I had ever created something for them - it would have been much worse than what they could do themselves

It's sad though isn't it? Their primary school stopped having "competitions" due to the unfairness of some children having lots of parental intervention.

oopsi · 07/05/2012 13:00

YANBU when my eldet started school it pissed me off no end.But resist the temptation to join the fray.Just let them continue to do it themselves.I bet the teachers have areal laugh judging the parents efforts!

hackmum · 07/05/2012 13:13

A few years ago I ended up as chair of governors at a primary school. They had a fete at which there was an art/craft competition for the infants and it was announced that I as chair was going to judge. I was wetting myself. Then the head and deputy took me aside and explained that they would do the real judging, as they would know which ones had been genuinely made by the children and which by the parents. That seemed very fair and I was mightily relieved.

BBQJuly · 07/05/2012 13:27

YANBU. They should have competitions where the items are made in school time, or in a supervised session after school, so they can be sure parents haven't been involved.

MumPaula · 08/05/2012 01:34

Same stuff happens here. I told the teacher one time they should award a prize for the child who obviously did all the work themselves. She agreed. They know it's mostly done by parents. When I see this stuff coming home I say "Oh great, more work for the Mommies"

sashh · 08/05/2012 03:37

I once spent an afternoon (I was about 14) with the cleaner's kids (yes we had a cleaner growing up) I can't remember how old, but it was school holidays so she had brought them with her.

We spent the afternoon making a nativity set out of paper and coloured with felt pens. 90% of the work was done by the kids - I showed them how to make a stand up person, they copied.

They very proudly took it home to show dad - who refused to believe they had done it. They really had and the little girl was particularly upset.

GateGipsy · 08/05/2012 04:35

The children all get the same materials in each class to make their easter bonnets. They're welcome to bring in bonnets made at home for the parades, but the judging of the bonnets takes place before school starts, when the children aren't there. There's always one or two who do really well in each class, and without parental involvement, if you know the kids it can be a surprise!

Am beginning to get a bit annoyed with the school projects though. The last one the school changed the criterial slightly, putting the emphasis on the presentation the child gives on their project. That seems to have made a difference.

signet · 08/05/2012 06:24

Our school has an adult category in most of its competitions eg Easter bonnet making. The competitive parents get to compete their hearts out. So funny to see!

ibizagirl · 08/05/2012 06:29

I have seen it happen lots of times! I remember when dd was at primary school and it was world book day. Dressing up time. Most children had good costumes on that were clearly homemade. One boy turned up with a bin liner on (just a hole cut for his head) and he won a prize because he was Batman! Some parents actually complained. It was rubbish though. I felt sorry for the others because there were some really great costumes.

cabbagesoup · 08/05/2012 06:31

signet that's a fab idea can I send the parents at my DS school to yours please!!

I got a gold star once for my snowman, which I handed in my lovely DS had forgotton to do his snow work actually i told him not to bother, and then at 11pm I realised I'd better do something quick, so I made up his homework gave it to him in the morning and he proudly handed it in and said "my mum stayed up REALLY late doing this" hee hee hee

seeker · 08/05/2012 06:37

I wouldn't bother getting your child to enter. Everyone knows all the prizes/big parts/awards/house points/places on the g and t list/front seat on the bus on a school trip/spaces in the restricted numbers clubs/ opportunity to prsent flowers to royalty go to the children of the chair of governors and the chair of the PTFA.

sue52 · 08/05/2012 09:05

I remember the time when at junior school the children had to make a sun dial. One parent had gilded the thing in gold leaf and was a bit peeved when his kid reported that the teacher had just said "good". I think he expected his effort to be mounted on a plinth in the hall.

DeWe · 08/05/2012 11:14

I agree entirely. My dd's school (which did very little competition) used to have an art competition at the summer fair with an outside judge. First year I asked if it was child done or adult done. Child done, I'm told. So the next 2 years dc did the artwork unaided and a child who it was clearly done by the parents won. Each time. Really no chance it was done by the child(infant age), knowing the children involved.

So the next three years I designed the artwork carefully to what they could manage and they did it on their own, but with supervision. One of them won each time .

Personally I'd have rather it was completely the child doing it on their own, but when there are 100 children and probably about 90 are clearly parental done it seems that no one other than me cared. I did bring it up at one meeting and everyone agreed that it should be child done entirely-and then did their own childs.

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