regarding my reaction to daughter's plans?

[TheUnMember]

She is 19 and recently told me that she is moving out and setting up home with her boyfriend. I tried to control my reaction but I couldn't. I let it all out. Now she's cross with me.

You've restored some of my faith unmember Only the other day I seriously asked my DH if he thought there was something wrong with me because I enjoy seeing my LO's (1&5) turning into independent people - everyone else around me seems overly precious about their children and can't bear to be apart from them. I adore my DCs but I recognise they are individuals in their own right.

As long as you decorate any other Dcs rooms when they move out too and not do a Ross and Monica's parents type scenario

Max, I often think I am alone as well. My son is not quite 3 and every step towards independence I meet with a cheer while my husband does what he can to stop it!

It's our job, right? Well, maybe not the dance around the house part

In some ways I think her condition has made learning to be independent much more of a conscious exercise than it possible is with other kids. Every step carefully planned and practised, first in the occuaptional health 'practise house' then let loose at home. 3 years ago I wouldn't have thought she would ever be capable of this. She's come a long way.

I think it's brilliant unmember and you're right to be proud of her.

tee I reserve the dancing for when they're safely tucked up in bed

My DS has Asperger's, I am extremely proud to announce that he too has made that step (without a partner in his case, he landed a job as a falconer 2 hours from home) and he too is doing much better than I ever hoped he would. I do have to turn a blind eye to his room though when I go to visit or don a bio-hazard suit.

I know exactly where you're coming from TheUnMember.

Right, now get those paint brushes out before she changes her mind...

Waheyyyyy! Go them

After all, autism or no autism, leaving home and being independent is exactly what we're leading them towards eventually from the moment they're born isn't it? If we're not then we seriously need to look to our motives in having children in the first place and who we're doing it for.

Two years and counting until dd1 gets her 18th birthday present of a suitcase and some sound advice

I know what you mean hellhasnofury. I'll need a bloody big skip before I'll need the paintbrushes. She has kept everything she has ever owned as if her life depended on it. Every book, doll, pen, pair of socks, you name it, she kept it. IT'LL ALL BE GONE!

I did the happy dance when oldest Ds went off to Uni. But I really did miss him quite often. Then he'd come home for holidays and I'd be on count down till he left again. Now he's in UK and I'm in US and I really miss seeing him (I used to go to lunch with him when he was in Uni once in a while) Now number two boy is getting ready to go and Dh and I were planning the new decor for the room they had shared.

Dh made me laugh, as we discussed carpets he kept saying I will miss him you know, I want him to know he can come back, like I needed convincing he still loves his kids.

This thread reminds me of the Dulux ad that's on at the moment....you know where the guy tells his parents he's moving out and they whoop with joy the minute the car pulls away?

This thread reminds me of the Dulux ad that's on at the moment....you know where the guy tells his parents he's moving out and they whoop with joy the minute the car pulls away?

I would never do that...ever. Not ever. I am not really planning on the day that DD and her fella finally get themselves on the housing ladder

She's at her boyfriend's parents house this weekend, I am resisting the temptation to put the 'Sold' board outside and change the locks.

But then her boyfriend's parents could no longer get into their own home

They'd end up living with you too

I don't think you've thought this out if you don't mind me saying

My parents moved to a one bedded house the week after I moved out.

You do realise that she, more likely they, will be back

Lol bless you op! I'm 20 & moving out end of this month & I thought my parents wouldn't agree. (I'd be on my own with DD) they're being really supportive & understanding. It's helped build a better, mature relationship between us. Secretly my mum is worried though she won't admit.

Let your DD go find her feet. Holding her back will only make her resent you. Support her & she'll appreciate it.

Holding her back? I'm prying her fingers off the door frame so I can close it behind her :o

Hoorah for DD. It sounds like you've done a fab job with her UnMember and should have a sparkly new hobby room asap as your reward.

Maybe one with a sofa bed in it though - just in case

sashh-liking your parent's style.

Blatherskite, I do find myself drawn towards the bright pink sofa bed in ikea at the moment for me mind, not her

Ooh hello TheUnMember! :o

What great news for all of you. Out of interest is her BF on the spectrum too, or is he one of those aliens neurotypicals?

Tee and bronze, I agree, I'm not wanting my DCs to grow old before their time but I do try to encourage them to do things for themselves, I'm no mollycoddler :)

No he isn't fuzzpig, but he should be. Nobody can have that level of nerdiness and not be on the spectrum. :o

You really need to tell her exactly why you're pleased she's moving out you know!