Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little bit upset by this woman's attitude?

29 replies

sweetmoonbeam · 06/05/2012 15:48

This is my first time posting in this section (though I do read) but I'd welcome some other views as I have felt a bit upset by this.

On Friday, I realised I had left my debit card at home and I wanted to buy a present for a friend's new baby as well as a sympathy card for a friend who has recently lost her father. We have been friends since we were little girls and I know her family quite well and was upset by this myself, so I have to admit my mind was elsewhere when I went into the bank. I completely didn't notice that the queue was on the other side so inadvertently 'pushed in' and went to a cashier who I thought was available. She pointed towards the queue on the other side and I immediately apologised and went to the back of the queue.

That was completely my fault of course, but when I got to the cashier she 'greeted' me with the remark, "Waiting your turn this time, are you?" I was a bit taken aback by this but ignored it. However, all the time she was not having to ask me direct questions, she was muttering about me pushing in 'to herself' but not in a muted tone at all - I was obviously meant to hear. Things like:

"That lady was lovely about it. I'D have been FUMING if it was me you'd done that too."
"Do you not have to wait your turn in Cambridge then?" (I opened the account in Cambridge as I lived there then.)
"What are you in such a rush for that you pushed in, keen to get home I imagine."

I really didn't deal with it well as I got quite upset and kept apologising but now I've reflected on it I am quite angry. I didn't do anything all that terrible and it was a simple (though perhaps silly!) mistake on my part.

I think after I apologised once she realised she could make me feel even worse. I'm toying with whether or not I should complain to the bank, but I am not sure. Was what I did really so very terrible? I literally held the queue up for ten seconds if that as I walked up, apologised and walked away again!

OP posts:
dexter73 · 06/05/2012 15:51

Yanbu - she didn't have to keep going on about it. Has she never made a mistake before?

Sparklingbrook · 06/05/2012 15:51

YANBU. She shouldn't have said anything at all when you got to the till. I would have been upset too.

WorraLiberty · 06/05/2012 15:52

All you had to do was smile and say, "I thought the queue was at the other side"

Surely that would have been enough to stop the conversation in its tracks?

SilentSinger · 06/05/2012 15:52

YANBU. Complain - you made a mistake, apologised and instead of accepting your apology, she was continuously rude about it. Very poor customer service in my opinion.

SauvignonBlanche · 06/05/2012 15:53

YANBU, what terrible customer service!
You'd be entitled to complain.

Original poster
sweetmoonbeam · 06/05/2012 15:53

I did do that yes (although it was more of "I'm sorry, I thought the queue was on the other side") but the comments still carried on and I just think it was really horrible and unnessecary.

OP posts:
BlackAffronted · 06/05/2012 15:53

I think I'd actually write & complain about this member fo staff - do you recall her name? I think she needs extra training!

Mosman · 06/05/2012 15:53

Ignore twats otherwise you'll end up as bonkers as they are, i go out of my way to be extra polite to prove i am not the dickhead they have decided i am. that confuses em no end.

Sparklingbrook · 06/05/2012 15:53

She wasted all that time when she could have been selling you insurance or something. Her boss will not be pleased.

Sparklingbrook · 06/05/2012 15:57

There are so many twats about though. All making comments and nosing into other peoples' business uninvited.

I agree with being over polite though. If I let someone out in traffic and they don't thank me, I thank them very pointedly. Grin

frillyflower · 06/05/2012 16:00

She sounds vile. I had a mad and similar thing in M&S in Oxford: there was no-one in the queue and so I walked straight to the counter rather than snaking along the route marked with barriers iykwim. The sales person said "Could you go back and come to the counter the other way" "But there's no-one else here" I said. "But if there were you would have been in their way" "but there's no-one here" I said.
Some people are just mad. Don't let it bother you. You made an easy mistake and you apologized. She was rude.

giveitago · 06/05/2012 16:47

Put in a complaint. Job done.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 06/05/2012 17:01

At least next time you won't "accidentally" not notice the massive queue and swan straight to the front. You say it was a genuine mistake, and maybe, this time, for you, it was, but how are the people patiently waiting their turns in the queue supposed to know that. You might have been the fifth person to do it that day for all you know. If you did that here you'd stand about a 50/50 chance of someone lamping you one tbh, at least all you had was a few comments, which, let's face it, you deserved. You pushed in. Ok, you didn't mean to do it Hmm but I doubt anyone in that queue believed you, and the cashier did her job by making sure you were aware of the queue and went to the end of it. What did you want her to do? oo oo I know - you wanted her to serve you without you waiting...

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 06/05/2012 17:08

Put in a complaint...in writng. She needs more training.

FullBeam · 06/05/2012 17:10

YANBU to feel a bit upset by this. It was a mistake, you apologised and took your turn. You were probably more upset by it because of the bad news you had had about your friend's father.

TBH, I don't think it is worth doing anything about it. Chalk it up to experience and put it behind you.

TidyDancer · 06/05/2012 17:11

I think I probably wouldn't complain on this occasion, but I do agree she was quite wrong to treat you like that.

Maybe if you feel you want to say something about it, email generally without naming names. The cashier may have been having a lot of things like that happening to her that day and while she was wrong to speak to you the way she did, I'm not sure I feel she should be disciplined over it.

LeBOF · 06/05/2012 17:12

Are you the cashier, Pom? Or do you just want to make somebody who is already upset feel worse?

Jakadaal · 06/05/2012 17:14

Complain formally - completely unprofessional and if I was her line manager I would want to know about it.

LeeCoakley · 06/05/2012 17:17

Bad day Pombear?

I don't always notice the queue and am mortified when someone reminds me. And it's always a polite reminder. I don't need a Hmm and I certainly wouldn't expected to be 'lamped' for it. Where on earth do you come from?

Softlysoftly · 06/05/2012 17:19

Pombear bloody hell, please tell us how to be as perfect as you then poor unfortunate people who are paid to be polite to customers wouldn't have to waste their valuable breath berating people over and over and over again about a simple mistake.

Or you could go back to bed and get out the right side of course.

ladyintheradiator · 06/05/2012 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grammar · 06/05/2012 17:31

Pom, that is very unreasonable.

RachelF1989 · 06/05/2012 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PullUpAPew · 06/05/2012 17:35

Pom - YABU.

OP, yes, complain. Cashier was rude.

GoPoldark · 06/05/2012 17:38

KILL POM KILL!